FIRE JOE MORGAN: Jim Rome: Darin Erstad for Galactic Emperor


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Tuesday, October 11, 2005


Jim Rome: Darin Erstad for Galactic Emperor

Today's "Rome is Burning" was business as usual: atrocious, knee-jerk, lazy, conventional wisdom-based commentary. Enjoy:

The Angels finished the Yankees in five, and it's easy to see how they did it -- with heart, grit and toughness. Effort does matter, and these guys scrap like nobody else.

Are you saying the Yankees weren't putting in any effort? For God's sake, everyone on the field wants to win. Show me a play where a guy didn't want to win. One play. Did Bengie Molina hit three home runs in the series because of grit?

On paper, it should have been a colossal mismatch, especially offensively.

Regular season records:
Yankees: 95-67
Angels: 95-67

Not just a mismatch. A colossal mismatch.

Pitching-wise, this was a colossal mismatch in favor of the Angels.

But they don't play it on paper, they play between the lines, where the Angels are gamers.

One sentence, three cliches. Three!

And not just one or two of them, but one through nine. They scratch, they battle, they turn every game into a street fight.


They don't make dumb mistakes. They throw to the right base. They get their bunts down. They catch the ball. They pick each other up. They do all those cornball, cliched little baseball things, and it was enough to beat the big, bad, $200 million Yankees.

The Yankees weren't that good this year. A bunch of their guys got hurt. Their pitching staff was a shambles.

The more talented team didn't win, but the better one did.


But wait. It gets much, much worse.

And there is no single guy who epitomizes the toughness of the Angels more than first baseman Darin Erstad.

Here we go.

He's not the best player.

You're right. He's not the best player. He hit seven home runs all year. Seven. 609 AB. Seven home runs. From first base.

He's not even the most valuable player on that team.

Good. Vlad Guerrero is. Darin Erstad OBPed .325 and slugged .371. All year.

But no one means more to the Angels than Erstad.

You are an unprecedented moron. Actually, I take that back. Many, many people have said this about Darin Erstad. What is it about this guy that makes sports media figures absolutely adore him? Is it his football background? He was a punter. He looks very rugged, I'll give you that.

This guy is the ultimate red ass.

The following players had a higher OPS than Darin Erstad this year:

Russ Adams
Craig Counsell
Greg Zaun
Every Major League First Baseman

That's right: in the major leagues, no regular first baseman had a lower OPS than Darin Erstad.

He is the ultimate gamer and competitor. A guy that will do absolutely anything and everything to win a ball game. He grinds every single at bat like it's the most important at bat of his whole career.

Of major league first basemen, Erstad finished 24th in walks, with 47.

The guy is a freaking nut. He practically left his knee ligaments out near second base sliding into the bag last night.

If Manny Ramirez hurts his knee with that horrible sliding technique, he's the laughingstock of sports media the next day.

The guy is a great tone setter.

He better set a damn good tone for $8.25 million in 2005. By the way, his OPS+ was 89 this year.

No one, I mean no one on that team is going to go soft with Ersty around.

I'm glad you're on a cute-nickname-basis with Darin Erstad. Hope that goes well for you.

And I'm not talking about that football mentality that he brings to the diamond, either.

Yes, you are. You love Darin Erstad, and the reason why is because he used to play football and he looks tough. That's it.

He's athletic.

He did steal an incredible 10 bases this year.

He's a flat-out whiz with the leather at first base. There aren't five guys in the bigs who make that game-ending play last night.

Doug Mientkiewicz
Derrek Lee
J.T. Snow
John Olerud
Travis Lee
Todd Helton

Darin Erstad, maniac.

Jim Rome, fucktard.

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posted by Junior  # 4:32 PM
Thanks to reader Jeff Dwarf for pointing out that Darin Erstad has the worst OPS of any first baseman in baseball.

Originally, I wrote that only Scott Hatteberg had a lower OPS, but the A's slid Dan Johnson into first and started DHing (!) Hatteberg.
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