FIRE JOE MORGAN: I Can't Believe We Didn't Write More About Bill Plaschke During the Season


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

Main / Archives / Merch / Glossary / Goodbye

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


I Can't Believe We Didn't Write More About Bill Plaschke During the Season

The guy absolutely hates new things. He's doing backflips now that the Dodgers have hired an older baseball man to be their GM.

From prep school to old school, the Dodger focus flips today; smartly and solidly and finally.

You can always count on Plaschke for a cheap shot at Paul DePodesta, who no longer works for the Dodgers nor has any impact on Bill Plaschke's life at this point.

Did you know he went to HARVARD? What a nerd.

Everyone knows you can't run a baseball team if you went to prep school.

His name is Ned Colletti, and he's an old-time baseball guy, from his affection for snakeskin boots to his love of snake-free clubhouses.

Beautiful turn of phrase. This guy Colletti sounds like a real man. A real man who kills snakes with his bare hands and turns them into a fine pair of boots. A guy like that would never trade away heartandsouloftheteamPaulLoDuca, would he? No.

He even sounds like a baseball man. Ned Colletti. Boy, I like the sound of that.

Since Colletti became the Giants' assistant general manager in 1997, the team has compiled the third best record in baseball with Barry Bonds and a bunch of character guys.

Colletti, 50, loves the character guys.

Me, I'd take Barry Bonds. He's the best baseball player ever. Maybe second, to Babe Ruth.

He helped build a 2002 World Series team with a lineup that featured Benito Santiago batting fifth, David Bell playing third and Shawon Dunston doing whatever.

And Barry Bonds OPS-ing 1.381. He got on base 58.2% of the time that year. And slugged .799. But Shawon Dunston was also there!

Also, is the point of this paragraph that Colletti helped acquire mediocre players like Benito Santiago, David Bell and Shawon Dunston? I would want my GM to get good players. Not impress me by getting to the World Series with players I am shocked to see make it that far.

While the last Dodger regime didn't see the value in Adrian Beltre, Colletti was signing Omar Vizquel.

Adrian Beltre was one of the worst signings of the year, if not the worst. The Mariners paid him $11.4 million to OPS .716. What a bonehead move by the last Dodger regime, letting that guy sign somewhere else for way more than he's worth.

Plus, what does that have to do with Omar Vizquel? By the way, the Giants signed Omar Vizquel, a 38-year-old shortstop, to a 3-year deal worth over $12 million. Let's hope that works out for the man with snakeskin boots.

While the Giants struggled with injuries, their first losing season with Colletti, they were still in the race in the final week, and Matheny and Vizquel won Gold Gloves.

Gold Gloves are the worst award in baseball. Worse than the Rolaids thing.

For years, the Giants have succeeded despite a brooding superstar and a mid-level payroll. Colletti has been in the middle of all of it.

Let me replace some words in that first sentence to make it accurate:

For years, the Giants have succeeded because they had the best player of the last twenty years, and possibly the best player ever.

There. That's better.

Labels: , ,

posted by Junior  # 3:18 PM
Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home


04.05   05.05   06.05   07.05   08.05   09.05   10.05   11.05   12.05   01.06   02.06   03.06   04.06   05.06   06.06   07.06   08.06   09.06   10.06   11.06   12.06   01.07   02.07   03.07   04.07   05.07   06.07   07.07   08.07   09.07   10.07   11.07   12.07   01.08   02.08   03.08   04.08   05.08   06.08   07.08   08.08   09.08   10.08   11.08  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?