FIRE JOE MORGAN: A Salute to Men Without Whom Many People Would Be Dead or Perhaps Never Born

FIRE JOE MORGAN

Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Saturday, December 10, 2005

 

A Salute to Men Without Whom Many People Would Be Dead or Perhaps Never Born

When you hear the name Tommy Lasorda, you probably think of the longtime manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers, a man who was the face of baseball in L.A. for decades. Or perhaps, and this is far less likely, you remember him as a AAAA-caliber lefty pitcher for the Brooklyn Dodgers and Kansas City Athletics in the 1950's. Or, and this is even less likely, if you're like me, you remember him for his brief ad campaign for Ultra Slim-Fast (the chocolate-flavored meal replacement shake) in 1989.

If you think of Tommy as any of the above, you're officially old. Because I'm telling you right now, if you walk up to any kid on the street today and ask him who Tommy Lasorda is, that little rascal will look up at you and say, "Duh, Mister. He's a blogger. A terrible blogger."

Tommy's latest post is especially funny. It's called A Salute to Scouts.

Baseball scouts are the unsung heroes of our game. Without them, there would not be any players to watch, to cheer for, and to emulate.

Now hold on one second, Tommy. Without scouts, there would be no players? None? Mr. and Mrs. Pujols just wouldn't have gotten it on that night? The Molina brothers would be transported into some parallel dimension where they're only allowed to play badminton with anthropomorphic wolves? David Eckstein would be dead?

Scouts are a hard working group of people. They drive from town to town, watching game after game from the bleachers of high school stadiums across the country looking for future major leaguers.

Okay, but that's their job. That really doesn't sound that bad. Travelling around, watching sort of crappy baseball games. I mean, presumably, these are guys who love baseball, right? Maybe Tommy should have written a post called "A Salute to Meatpacking Factory Workers." Those people are doing us all a useful service, and their job is miserable and dangerous.

In my opinion, scouts should have their own hall of fame, just like baseball writers and broadcasters do. That recognition would be the validation they so richly deserve. Their contributions to the game are endless, their love for the game is unconditional and their commitment is inspiring.

I challenge you, Tommy Lasorda, to open this Baseball Scout Hall of Fame and attempt to run it as a viable business. What will you charge for admission? Two cents? One cent? Times will be tough for you, Tommy.

Further entertainment can be found in the comments section for the post. One guy calls a previous poster a "sycophant," angering another guy so much he threatens to "break both of his [the first guy's] legs." Here's the thing: the violent guy a) doesn't know what "sycophant" means, b) thinks a guy named "sycophant" wrote a post maligning Tommy Lasorda that for some reason he can't read, and c) still wants to ruin his ability to walk.

One more Tommy Lasorda-related item. Please visit Tommy's Wikipedia page and scroll down until you see Tommy's quote about Dave Kingman from 1976. Now read the quote. Happy time!

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posted by Junior  # 10:10 PM
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