FIRE JOE MORGAN: A Fake Interview with Joe Morgan


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

Main / Archives / Merch / Glossary / Goodbye

Tuesday, March 21, 2006


A Fake Interview with Joe Morgan

Sometimes you say things about people from a certain country or another, and it's not even that they're not true, or that they're actually prejudiced, but they just don't come out right. Tonight, during the World Baseball Classic Championship Game, was one of those times for Joe Morgan. Unfortunately, he was calling the game and millions (okay, maybe several hundred thousands) could hear him.

Following is a fake, manipulated interview with Joe. Please note that his quotes, though, are all completely unedited, and occurred in the sequence in which they appear in the interview. That is, Joe Morgan said all of these things tonight, and in a span of about thirty seconds.

FJM: What's the one thing we as fans should notice tonight, Joe?

JM: I think the one thing that fans should notice is a contrast between these two ballclubs.

FJM: How do you mean?

JM: I mean, the Cubans are real emotional.

FJM: So you're saying the Cubans, a team of Latin American individuals, are extremely emotional?

JM: They play with a lot of fire. There's a lot going on.

FJM: A lot going on ... hmm, I don't really understand what that means in this context. Anyway, what about Japan?

JM: When you watch, you know, Japan play -- they're calculating.

FJM: Like, good at math?

JM: They're more scientific.

FJM: Oh, okay. Science. Right. Team Japan, a team full of Asian people, is more science-oriented. As opposed to the fiery-tempered Latins.

JM: Everything is calculated to make it work.

FJM: You mean like in Moneyball???

JM: I mean, that's why you so see so many players trying to bunt, you know, and taking pitches and doing so many of the little things.

FJM: Oh. You mean like how bunting equals science. How is that again?

JM: They do all the little things, you know, it's kind of a science like [sic] to them.

FJM: All right. Glad you cleared that up. But remind us again, how are the Cubans?

JM: I think the Cuban players show a little more fire, play with a little more emotion.

FJM: Thank you for that. I was afraid I'd forgotten, since twelve seconds had elapsed since the last time you said the Cubans were emotional and fiery.


posted by Junior  # 1:49 AM
Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home


04.05   05.05   06.05   07.05   08.05   09.05   10.05   11.05   12.05   01.06   02.06   03.06   04.06   05.06   06.06   07.06   08.06   09.06   10.06   11.06   12.06   01.07   02.07   03.07   04.07   05.07   06.07   07.07   08.07   09.07   10.07   11.07   12.07   01.08   02.08   03.08   04.08   05.08   06.08   07.08   08.08   09.08   10.08   11.08  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?