FIRE JOE MORGAN: Gallimaufry: One Day in FJM-Land


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

Main / Archives / Merch / Glossary / Goodbye

Tuesday, June 27, 2006


Gallimaufry: One Day in FJM-Land

We love our readers. I hope you guys know that by now. And I'm personally sorry that I haven't posted at least once a day for the last month. Believe me, I'd like nothing more than to be blogging 18 hours a day.

But back to you, the readers. You've been doing your part, and for those of you who don't write in or don't realize how many people do, here's just a quick rundown of the type of stuff we get in just a one-day span. It's Gallimaufry time.

From Nick:

I don't know if you guys heard this, but last night around 12:30 on ESPN Radio's Gamenight, these two clowns were debating whether or not Manny Ramirez was a Hall of Famer.

And by "debating" I mean they sort of threw it out there and then both agreed that he wasn't. One of them said he thought about it a long time, and then was persuaded by the second guy's opinion. Did they discuss, his career OBP of .410, or the fact that he has has never had even a mediocre full season in the Majors, or that by the time he's done he'll have at least 550 dingers? No.

The discussion basically went like "well, 455 HR's is a good number, but hey Dave Kingman had 500 HR's and he's not in the HOF." (Of course Kingman had 442, and he also had a career line of .236-.302.-478 compared to Manny's .313-.410.-600) And then they discussed how Manny sometimes looks like he's not trying. Then they strangely moved on to how Papi Ortiz has a better chance of making the HoF if he keeps going because he's so clutch; they never menitoned Manny's World Series MVP.

My favorite part is that their counterexample is Dave Kingman because he had 500 homers, when in fact he didn't even do that. Manny is so far ahead of Ortiz in the Hall of Fame race it's ridiculous.

From Evan (and many, many others):

Not sure if you saw this. Verducci from SI tries to argue that OBP may not be the best barometer of lead-off hitters. Part of it made my brain hurt.

A lot of people pointed us to this article, probably because we've been so hard on Jose Reyes in the past. After reading it, though, I'm not as angry as a lot of you. Here's why: up to this point in the season, Jose Reyes has been a fantastic hitter for a shortstop. Fantastic. Look at these numbers: a .361 OBP, a .495 SLG, an .856 OPS. He's stolen 34 bases and only been caught 8 times. When Verducci wrote the article, he was only OBPing .338, but it's hard to go back and criticize a guy for what now looks like prescience rather than an attempt to justify the hype. Reyes' play over the course of 73 games has justified the hype. Get back to me at the end of the year if he's back down to the .330s, though.

From David:

McCarver did a long riff on how brilliant and throrough in their
research the Red Sox were before deciding to go out and trade for Mike
Lowell in the off season. Never once mentioning that he was a
grudgingly accepted contract dump - the price of doing business in the
Beckett deal. Not sure if you can find the transcript anywhere (2nd
inning, Saturday's game) , but he went on and on and no one stopped

Lowell is certainly exceeding the rosiest projections of any Red Sox analyst. It's pretty crazy to argue he was anything other than a means for the Sox to get Beckett.

From Tony:

Oh man, come on.

The play by play guy just said.."They have the most foul territory here in Detroit, more than anywhere, and that's why they have such a low team ERA." Then, as if to cover him self, he said, and the pitchers probably are
maturing as well.

Would like to know which play by play guy said this, but thanks for that, Tony.

From Joey:

Thought I'd give you all a heads up on more Tim McCarver fun from Saturday's FOX Game of the Week:

"Tim McCarver: In Scrabble, W's are worth 4 points. S's are only worth 1 point. But as far as Papelbon is concerned, S's are worth a lot more than W's.

Joe Buck: Folks, feel free to turn off your TVs right now. Go do something else. Good Lord..."


FJM: As far as FJM is concerned, neither W's or S's are worth anything as statistics.

From Frank:

im watching tonights game...first thought, does ozzie (osbourne) guillen ever drink his water or does he always spit it out.

I'm pretty sure this was actually from Chris Berman.

From Jesse:

Don't know if you guys caught the brilliant exchange between Joe and Johnny in the bottom of the 11th tonight. As Podsednik came to bat with the winning run on 3rd and 2 down, both Joe and Johnny (but particularly Joe) expressed their supreme conviction that the Astros would be wise to pitch around Podsenik to pitch to Iguchi, as this would be "playing the percentages." Presumably they were talking about the lefty-righty thing, as Qualls was pitching. Notwithstanding the fact that Iguchi had, oh, 2 homers and 7 RBIs in the game to that point, had they examined the percentages they would have discovered that (1) Iguchi is, overall, a much better hitter than Podsednik, and (2) Iguchi, the righty, is actually much better than Podsednik against righties...

I'm sure you guys can make the numbers look much better than I could, so I'll leave that part to you.

I'll just organize them a bit better:

Scott Podsednik 2006 OPS
vs. LHP: .552
vs. RHP: .810

Tadahito Iguchi 2006 OPS
vs. LHP: .671
vs. RHP: .839

The lesson is: never, ever pitch around Scott Podsednik.

From David:

Don't know if you saw Sportscenter the last day or so.

They had Schlereth, Salisbury, and Golic ranking the QB situation of every team in the NFL.

While they did name the Patriots as number one, one of the "geniuses" made a comment that Tom Brady will never lead the league in stats.

UMM, last year, Brady led the league in passing yards.
People still don't think Brady can throw the ball. Amazing.

People are still trying with the football stuff, and I condone this. Hey, if you've got Marcelo Balboa or Dave O'Brien complaints, go ahead, send them in.

And one last one, from Charlie:

Don't know if you guys caught this last night but in one of the extra
innings in the Stros-White Sox game, Bobby Jenks through a pitch that
Joe Morgan identified as a slider, but the speed flashed 97mph. Joe
then went on and on about how nobody can throw a slider 97mph so the
radar gun must have gotten it wrong.

A radar gun, with its digital readout, qualifies as a computer in Joe's world. They are not to be trusted. In the coming Artifical Intelligence Wars, whose side will you be on? Whose side will the radar guns be on? Don't go crying to Joe when a radar gun kidnaps your sister.

That's just a selection of emails from a 24-hour period. Bottom line: you're our eyes and ears. Wherever the sports media are embarrassing themselves with their ignorance, you're there. Thank you.

Labels: , , ,

posted by Junior  # 2:42 PM
I am very late to this party, and I did not see the game, but in re: Joe's last quote: I am willing to bet eleventy trillion dollars he actually called it a "slide piece," a term which makes my skin crawl.
Post a Comment

<< Home


04.05   05.05   06.05   07.05   08.05   09.05   10.05   11.05   12.05   01.06   02.06   03.06   04.06   05.06   06.06   07.06   08.06   09.06   10.06   11.06   12.06   01.07   02.07   03.07   04.07   05.07   06.07   07.07   08.07   09.07   10.07   11.07   12.07   01.08   02.08   03.08   04.08   05.08   06.08   07.08   08.08   09.08   10.08   11.08  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?