FIRE JOE MORGAN: Gentlemen, We Have Another "Clogging Up The Bases" Sighting


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Friday, August 25, 2006


Gentlemen, We Have Another "Clogging Up The Bases" Sighting

Thank you, Matt from Chicago. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Matt sent us this link to a seemingly innocuous "News and Notes"-type write-up of the woeful Chicago Cubs on

Writer Carrie Muskat poses the outrageously easy-to-answer question,

Do the Cubs need to improve their on-base percentage next year?

and immediately follows with all of the information necessary to answer the question.

They currently rank last in the National League with a .318 OBP.

But wait. I'd like a second opinion. Preferably from Dr. Crazyballs himself, Dusty Baker.

"On-base percentage is great if you can score runs and do something with that on-base percentage," Baker said.

And everyone hold their collective breath. Let's drum roll this shit.


Are you ready?

"Clogging up the bases isn't that great to me."

Thank you. Someone had to say it, Dusty. How are we going to score runs with all these damn men clogging up the bases, getting in our way? Cubs Baseball 2006: No One Clogs Our Bases Up! Why in the world did they get rid of Neifi Perez? He was the undisupted king of Career Not Clogging Up The Bases Occurrences.

Dusty's quote also begs the question, what is that great to him, keeping in mind that batters getting on base for the professional baseball team he manages, the Chicago Cubs, is not that great? My guesses appear below:

The innocence of a young child
Stolen bases
A Beautiful Mind

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posted by Junior  # 5:40 PM
I want to go on record as saying that hating players for "clogging up the bases" is the absolute #1 all-time dumbest thing anyone has ever said about baseball. Dusty Baker should be fired just for this. What is he looking for, for offense? A long consecutive streak of solo homers?
I think he doesn't want anyone on base who won't immediately steal second, third and home on the next three pitches.
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