Buzzmaster: Joe is here to answer your questions!
I'm here to flippantly answer his answers! No one asked me to do this!
Maryville Tennesssee: What do you think about Kenny Rodgers and what was on his hand?
SportsNation Joe Morgan: Whatever was on his hand was illegal. Let's start with that. I know it wasn't dirt. You can't have a foreign substance on your hand, that's the rule. Obviously, he took it off after the first inning and you wouldn't think he was doing anything illegal.
Well, we got that shocking twist out of the way fast. I think Joe's right on here. Kenny Rogers had pine tar on his hand and that's illegal. That's pretty much the end of the story, except for the weird fact that Tony La Russa decided to screw his own team over and not get rid of a guy who had pitched, at that point, 16 consecutive scoreless innings. Congratulations, Joe, on your third correct answer of the season!
Kevin (New Hyde Park, NY): Hey Joe, can MLB take any actions against Kenny Rogers if there are enough complaints from other teams? It is a foreign substance and he should be suspended. Isn't that the rules despite the umpire's discretion?
SportsNation Joe Morgan: That is definitely the rules. That you're suspended and kicked out of the game immediately. Not only on your hand, but your body, like a nail file. I don't know if they can take action now because they didn't go to the mound to look at his hand. We're only seeing a TV replay and therefore they can't because they didn't inspect him. Without that, they can't suspend him.
SportsNation Joe Morgan: La Russa let him off and I think Tony's reasoning was he didn't want to hurt the image of the World Series and baseball at that point.
Wow. I'm speechless. Joe sort of scores again. He's vaguely right for almost the entirety of his answer. Look, Kevin in New Hyde Park, major league baseball is not going to go back and retroactively suspend a guy when their own umpires let him off the hook after choosing not to inspect his clearly pine tarred pitching hand. That [sic] is definitely the rules.
Michael (New York) : What Tigers hitters do you see breaking out during the next few games in St. Louis?
SportsNation Joe Morgan: I'm surprised that Pudge Rodriguez is 0 for his last 16 or 17 or whwatever, because he's such a good hitter. Part of the reason he's struggling is because he's a catcher and he's worn down. With the week off, I thought he'd be rejuvenated. So he's the guy I'd pick to break out and they need him!
I'm surprised Stumpy One Leg Carrigan is 0 for his last 16 or 17 races or whatever, because he's such a good sprinter. Part of the reason he's struggling is because he lost his leg in a giant Venus fly trap accident. With his new fake leg, I thought he'd be rejuvenated even though he's proven since he got the new leg that he's not. So he's still the guy I'm picking to break out and Team Physical Deformity needs him!
Marquette Michigan: Are the Tigers still the favorite?
SportsNation Joe Morgan: I don't think so anymore. I thought they had the edge because they had home-field, but that's gone now. No one has home-field now. There's 3 in St. Louis and 2 in Detroit now, so I think the edge switches to St. Louis. Again, a lot depends on who steps up in this series. Detroit has a lot of ways to score runs and wins. The Cardinals basically revolve around Pujols and Rolen right now, so that's the way it is. Those two guys can lead you to victory, but the Tigers have an overall better chance of scoring runs that St. Louis at this time.
Thank god. Always Wrong Joe is back.
I don't think so anymore. I thought they had the edge because they had home-field, but that's gone now.
That's wrong. They had the edge because they were the better team, with vastly better pitching and arguably better hitting, as well. They won twelve more games in a considerably better league. Twelve.
No one has home-field now.
What? No. That's wrong. St. Louis has home field advatange. Anyone with a game schedule and the ability to count to two and then three can see that this is wrong.
There's 3 in St. Louis and 2 in Detroit now, so I think the edge switches to St. Louis.
But -- but you just said no one has home field. Which is it? The way this reads, it also seems like Joe only "thinks" three is a larger number than two. (Two has a lot of upside and intangibles that sometimes can make it larger than three.)
Again, a lot depends on who steps up in this series.
Sometimes, two steps up, and then who's larger, huh, three? This sentence is akin to saying: "a lot depends on who wins more of the remaining games."
Detroit has a lot of ways to score runs and wins.
Instead of this being a typo, I'm going to believe that Joe regularly uses the phrase "let's go out there and score some wins, boys." And he's talking to himself as he silently plays a fortieth game of the Solitaire that comes with Windows.
The Cardinals basically revolve around Pujols and Rolen right now, so that's the way it is. Those two guys can lead you to victory, but the Tigers have an overall better chance of scoring runs that St. Louis at this time.
A syntactic and semantic mess. I missed you, Always Wrong Joe. Good to have you back.
Utek (LA): Since Rogers pitched 6 shutout innings without the gunk on his hand, are we making too big a deal about this? I'd rather games were won and lost on the field and not over disputes in the rule book.
SportsNation Joe Morgan: Are you saying you'd like to play without a rulebook? If not, the bases aren't 90 feet apart and the mound isn't 60'6" away. Rules are there to make sure the game is played fairly. The umpires role is to make sure the game is played fairly, not just to call balls and strikes like many think. If the pine tar wasn't there to help him, then why was it there. You can't ignore the rules. If you didn't have laws, we'd have chaos, and the same applies to baseball.
I'm siding with Joe on this one, but more than that, I'm very much enjoying Pissy, Supermelodramatic Joe, who makes a strong showing in this response. "If you didn't have laws, we'd have chaos!!!" We're talking about poop on a guy's hand. I'm going to set up Joe to write the next Michael Bay movie.
Soren (LA): So Joe, if you were in Tony LaRussa's situation what would you have done?
SportsNation Joe Morgan: Let's not put me in Tony's situation, but if I'm the manager I just say go check him. Tony didn't want to hurt the image of the World Series. I don't want to hurt the image of the game itself. But he's a manager and I'm a broadcaster.
Joe. Joe. Soren (LA) doesn't have the ability to Judge Reinhold you into Tony La Russa's body. Cool out, man. I like the last sentence, in which Joe reminds us what he and Tony do for a living. This in no way helps us reconcile their difference of opinion on Poopgate.
Bobby (Wilmington): I respect LaRussa for what he's trying to do for the integrity of the Series.. but don't you think that in this age of people labeling cheaters, that the uncertainty of 'dirtgate' will forever be associated with this year?
SportsNation Joe Morgan: I agree with you, but I'm trying to give Tony's side of the story. I understand what he was thinking, but if I was in that position I would try to expose it. It doesn't mean I'm wrong and that Tony's wrong. It's just what I would do.
SportsNation Joe Morgan: I just hate cheating.
SportsNation Joe Morgan: I never looked off anybody's paper on a test. That's cheating and I hate that.
I like to imagine Joe furiously leaning over his Apple IIe and typing this answer while loosening his tie and wiping his forehead with a dirty rag. Between responses one and two, steam comes out of his ears. Between responses two and three, a cartoon devil appears on his shoulder and shrikes in his ear, "But what about the time you copied off of Bobby Bakersville in second grade, Joe? What about that?" And then Joe screams out his answer in anguish and also enters it into the chat field by mistake.
And can we talk about "It doesn't mean I'm wrong and that Tony's wrong"? Of course it doesn't. That's logistically impossible.
Jeff (Cleveland): Hey Joe...what was your favorite ballpark that you played in (besides Riverfront)?
SportsNation Joe Morgan: That's a tough one. Probably Wrigley Field and Dodger Stadium.
SportsNation Joe Morgan: I just hate cheating.
SportsNation Joe Morgan: I never looked off anybody's paper on a test. That's cheating and I hate that.
I added those last two answers. But you believed Joe typed that again, didn't you?
Labels: joe morgan, joechat
