FIRE JOE MORGAN: I Do Not Endorse This Article


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Wednesday, December 27, 2006


I Do Not Endorse This Article

We've all been waiting with bated breath for months on end. I hope you've made all your picks, and good luck in your office pools. It's time for the 2006 Media Awards!

Oh. Oh no. This I do not agree with.

BEST ANALYST: Troy Aikman, Fox Sports. It's the second consecutive year I'm dropping this honor on Aikman, who keeps improving (has any football analyst benefited more from leaving a three-man booth?) and is always accountable with his opinions. Why do you think ESPN approached him last year to work in the Monday Night Football football booth? Regardless of scheduling conflicts and the fact that he doesn't regularly broadcast college football, Fox should have assigned Aikman as its analyst on the BCS national championship game. I want my best guy -- and football's best analyst, along with Ron Jaworski -- if I'm making my debut in a sport.

Honorable mention: Jaworksi (ESPN), Tim McCarver (Fox)

Best analyst blah blah blah Aikman blah blah blah football blah blah blah and then two words that do not belong. The second one rhymes with McBlarver. The first one is Tim. If you're still stumped, the second one is McCarver.

Give up? It's Tim McCarver. We don't like Tim McCarver.

(The "We don't like Tim McCarver" link goes to a Google search of "tim mccarver" on our site. There are 52 results. I recommend you read them all.)

Here are some things Honorable Mentioned Best Analyst 2006 Tim McCarver has said:

"I only care about on-base percentage if you can run. If you can't run, I could care less about on-base percentage."

"A-Rod just fouls that ball off beautily."

"On-base percentage? How about contact percentage?!"

"First year as a relief pitcher in the Angel chain, Woods made 97 out of 98 starts, did Woods, as a starter."

"In Scrabble, W's are worth 4 points. S's are only worth 1 point. But as far as Papelbon is concerned, S's are worth a lot more than W's."

"It stands to reason that guys vary as far as their strength is concerned from start to start. Sometimes 90 pitches is too much. Sometimes 130 pitches are not enough. A guy could throw 150 pitches per start."

"A Mark Wohlberg fastball. Catch me if you can."

"I think if Norman Rockwell were alive the guy that he would paint more than anyone else would be David Eckstein."


posted by Junior  # 2:55 PM
Yes, I know that on page 2 of this article gives FJM the award for "THE NONCORPORATE SPORTS WEB SITE OF THE YEAR."

What apparently does not realize is that FJM is a joint venture of Raytheon, Unisys, and the RAND Corporation. Our apologies.
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