Comments on FIRE JOE MORGAN: All-Star Break Boredom Post

dak--I believe we have talked about this before, b...

2006-07-15T20:23:00.000-04:00

dak--

I believe we have talked about this before, but I also like

Amani "Exchange" Toomer

better than "Well-Dressed Amani Toomer." I even, and I can't believe I am saying this, would prefer

Amani "It's Not A" Toomer

despite the hackiness of the reference. Or how about

Amani "It Takes" Toomer "To Make Things Go Right"

which also has the benefit of being a flattering nickname for a wide receiver. The point is, "Well-Dressed," even by Berman's standards, is horrifying.

On a side note, I never understood why he didn't do

Jeff "Doogie" Blauser.

I still believe that Berman should be going with A...

2006-07-12T02:49:00.000-04:00

I still believe that Berman should be going with Amani "Express" Toomer. I have some reasons:

a) "Well-dressed Armani" is not an expression. "Armani Express" is.

b) "Express" might actually be a decent nickname for a WR, and yet it still conforms to Boomer's hilarious pun standards.

c) I prefer nicknames -- and for that matter, even Boomerisms -- that fit in the middle of a man's name.

Except for Keith "Mister" Jennings. That dude was ...

2006-07-11T21:36:00.000-04:00

Except for Keith "Mister" Jennings. That dude was awesome.

Yeah, dude, of course I get it, but in and of itse...

2006-07-11T21:35:00.000-04:00

Yeah, dude, of course I get it, but in and of itself, the nickname "Mr." is just dumb.

Murbles - Don't you get it? "Mr. Ed"-monds? Get ...

2006-07-11T18:56:00.000-04:00

Murbles -

Don't you get it? "Mr. Ed"-monds? Get it?

Get it?

(self-inflicted gunshot wound)

I could be wrong, but isn't his nickname for Jim E...

2006-07-11T18:24:00.000-04:00

I could be wrong, but isn't his nickname for Jim Edmonds "Mr."--as in Jim "Mr." Edmonds? I know "Mr." is his nickname for someone, which, when you think about it, is retarded.

Dear Murbles:We, the undersigned, think you are st...

2006-07-11T16:21:00.000-04:00

Dear Murbles:

We, the undersigned, think you are stupid and don't get awesome jokes.

Ben "Winter" Coates
Rafael "Emerson, Lake, and" Palmeiro
Dave "Parallel" Parker
"Well-Dressed" Amani Toomer
Ken "Fart Machine" Tremendous

It is curious, though, that the Boomer-style nickn...

2006-07-11T11:09:00.000-04:00

It is curious, though, that the Boomer-style nicknames were conspicuously absent from the player introductions. I was steeling myself for Ryan "Howard the Duck" or Miguel "Not to Be Confused With Mediocre Teenage Pop Sensation Ryan" Cabrera or some shit. I cannot fully describe the relief I felt when he left them out.

You have to believe that someone sat him down and was all "This ends here."

I have a new singular goal in life. That goal is s...

2006-07-11T03:14:00.000-04:00

I have a new singular goal in life.

That goal is simply to outlive the broadcasting career of Chris Berman, so that one day I might watch a Home Run Derby without the so-fucking-tired Boomerism: "He hits this one to [obscure suburb of or small city 120 miles away from All-Star host city]!"

I have to say I like my chances.