FIRE JOE MORGAN

FIRE JOE MORGAN

Where Bad Sports Journalism Comes To Die

FJM is a closed forum, but we welcome reader feedback. We're especially interested in corrections of our work, and research (usually number-crunching) that we may not be able to do ourselves. Please check the comments section as well, where we often post readers' opinions, and, less frequently, announce that we were wrong about something. You can e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach individually.

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

 

"...and the legs of a supermodel."

Ah, the "face of a closer." That menacing stare of pure intimidation that weakens the knees of the game's best players. The "clutch" equivalent of face-having. Clutchface.

Dave O'Brien of the AJ-C knows that face, and sees it in none other than Rafael Soriano. How do I know this? Mainly because (a) reader Charles H. tipped us off and (b) the friggin title of the article is:

"Soriano has the face of a closer."

The article itself is not much more than you'd expect: "scraggly goatee"; "hard throwing"; "face of sheer domination"; "his countenance is dark, serious"...

Wanna see some other faces of closers? Here. I'll show you the faces of the all-time leaders in saves.

This guy looks a dude I went to high school with.

This dude plays bass for the Roots.

This guy likes pizza!

Terrifying.

Dad?

And of course sixth on the all-time list...oh fuck.

Finally, a picture of the subject of the article, Rafael Soriano. Children, pregnant women, and faint-hearted non-Ecksteins of the world may not want to look. This face is so closer-y it will give you lucid nightmares.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Egads
!

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posted by dak  # 6:00 PM
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Monday, June 20, 2005

 

Paraphrased

Dave O'Brien and Rick Sutcliffe: Matt Clement says Jason Varitek and Derek Jeter are in a class of their own as far as being captains and leaders of their respective ballclubs ... But really, Derek Jeter is all by himself because of all those championships.

10 minutes later ...

ESPN Update:
Derek Jeter with the throwing error, allowing two Devil Ray runs to score.

Dave O'Brien and Rick Sutcliffe: ...

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posted by Junior  # 7:58 PM
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