Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Tuesday, March 27, 2007


Joe Fired

It's Theismann, but we'll take it.

We didn't write about him much on this site, but no one thought he was good, right? No. No one did.

I'll always remember "Right now, if this is a heavyweight fight, the cards are starting to line up for Tampa Bay," which may or may not have been him.

As a side note, I was shocked that Mike Tirico wasn't terrible on PTI last week.

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posted by Junior  # 8:31 PM
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Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Surprise! Football.

Joe Theismann is doing his damnedest to get us off our asses by being a giant idiot in print for all the world to see. I'm talking about his latest Cup o' Joe. It's a cup full of retard juice.

I'll tell you why. The column's called

A look at the young guns

and he talks about five such guns in it. Two of the guns are Bruce Gradkowski, 23, and Seneca Wallace, 26. Fine. The others, though? David Garrard and Joey Harrington, 28-year-old guns, and Damon Huard, a motherfucking 33-year-old gun. Huard has been in the league for ten years now. He's probably a grandfather, like most 33-year-olds are. Come to think of it, it's Garrard and Harrington's fifth years in the league. They're two years older than somewhat established gun Michael Vick and only a year younger than downright middle-aged-seeming gun Marc Bulger, who already has 14,447 passing yards.

Frankly, it's my own fault for assuming that the title of a Joe Theismann column would have anything to do with the content of that same column. He could have called the thing "A look at giant prehistoric sharks" and I wouldn't have been surprised.

Well, I would have been sort of pleasantly surprised and I would have liked him a tiny bit more. Especially if it had pictures of giant sharks with silhouettes of human beings and cars next to it for purposes of scale.

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posted by Junior  # 8:26 PM
Thanks, Matt, for the link.
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Saturday, January 07, 2006


With Apologies to the "New Yorker"...

...Block that Metaphor!

Joe Theismann, during the Skins-Bucs game, 3:34 PM PST:

"Right now, if this is a heavyweight fight, the cards are starting to line up for Tampa Bay."


posted by Ken Tremendous  # 6:33 PM
FJM Follies:
For approximately three minutes on Saturday, January 7, KT and Junior posted the same item about a mixed metaphor during an ABC broadcast of the Redskins-Buccaneers Wild Card game.

FJM Follies, Part II:
I believe "Theismann" has two N's.

Are you sure it was Theismann and not Paul Maguire?
From the AP report of the game:

By then, the Patriots had topped Vince Lombardi's Packers and could start thinking about literally hitting the road to the Super Bowl.

Watch out, Interstates 90 and 75!
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