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You can e-mail dak,Ken Tremendous,Junior,Matthew Murbles, or Coach individually.
Times are slow in the sports metacommentary world. In lieu of more journo-evisceration, here are two tidbits about two of our favorite subjects, A-Rod and Juan Pierre.
"As tough and big as he seems, he is real wimpy around doctors or any type of medical situation," Cynthia Rodriguez said. "I was, like, not even having a baby; he was the one. The one nurse had a cold cloth on his head, the other nurse had the blood pressure on his arm and my mother was like rubbing his back -- and he is passed out on a couch.
"And I am there, in the middle of labor, and really, I am not being paid much attention to besides the doctor and a couple of nurses. And he is there, moaning. In between pushing, I am going, 'Honey, are you OK?' And are you breathing? Are you OK?'"
Derek Jeter, of course, regularly attends childbirths for fun and is a licensed obstetrician/gynecologist in twelve states. Delivered two of Mariano's kids -- without fancy medical tools. Just his hands, his calm eyes, his gut, and a shovel.
Second thing: Juan Pierre is reading FJM. Buster Olney explains:
Juan Pierre has always been an old-school free-swinger, someone who hacks first and asks questions later. But in the first five weeks of his season, there has been a dramatic change in Pierre.
"He's picking through pitches," said one talent evaluator. "I think with the competition going on" -- with four Dodgers outfielders competing for three spots -- "he had to re-think a little bit the way he was playing. In the time I've seen him, you can really see him trying to get on base, in a way that's different from in the past. There's a deliberate thought process going on there. His at-bats look different."
That's because they are different, so far. Entering Wednesday's game, Pierre is averaging 3.67 pitches per plate appearances, more than a quarter of a pitch better than the 3.40 pitches per plate appearance he averaged last year, and he is hitting .316, with a .388 on-base percentage. He's never had an on-base percentage of greater than .378.
So you're welcome, Juan, for inspiring you to change your approach and revitalize your career.
Next up: Bill Plaschke turns his back on Juan and accuses him of playing too much like a computer.
KT said it already, and here's the link. It seems that rational thought has somehow insinuated itself back into Le Ravine Chavez (pronounced sha-vay). But wait -- here's Snakeskin Boots Colletti's quote on the matter:
"Is he [Pierre] a bench player or is he not starting tomorrow?" Colletti asked. "It's a long season. You've got to compete, you've got to play. I understand the build-up to Opening Day. But you look at a lot of Opening Day rosters and there are players you can't even recognize. It changes day by day."
Reading between the lines, I'd say it's fifty-fifty that Bootsy's going to DFA Ethier by the end of the week so Torre's forced to play a real man in left field. A man who can bunt. A man who can swunt. A man whose skills range from bunting okay to swunting acceptably well. A man who is constantly hailed as the consummate professional but was already complaining before the decision was made to replace him with a better player ("If they want to go a different route," Pierre said, "I can live with it and I have to understand it but it's something I don't get.")
Snakeskin has spoken. This story is far from over.
First of all, Happy Opening Day (American Version) everyone. The best day of the year.
Second, last night Joe Morgan related a story in which President George W. Bush offered to buy the Texas Rangers and make him, Joe, the GM. Predicted record of this team: 59-103. Now Dennis Kucinich and Paul DePodesta -- that would be a model franchise! (Predicted record: 59-102 [final game rained out]).
Third, I promise to post more soon. Fremulon Ins., Inc. has not been immune from the recent credit crunch, and if my Pension Plan Monitoring abilities are not applied with 100% acuity, this firm could fold like the fraudulent house of cards we all know it really is. Thank you for your patience.
Fourth: does anyone else think the Dodgers hired Joe Torre because he's the only person who could bench Juan Pierre and not send the L.A. print media into complete hysterics?
It doesn't matter that it was written two and half weeks ago. This column will live on through the ages. They will speak the name of this column and shudder in fear and awe. This is the ur-column.
Pierre and Plaschke, a pairing like prosciutto and melon, like mini-golf and beer, like Travolta and Cage. Behold.
Dodgers' Juan Pierre is right where he belongs
I would argue that Pierre would belong better in the cast of the movie Gosford Park than atop a major league lineup.
VERO BEACH, Fla. -- There's a boxer in the house.
There's a tiresome stylistic contrivance in the house. "Yeah, last year, I got beat up pretty good," says Juan Pierre.
There's defiance in the house.
You see how he brought "in the house" back for another spin? You see that? That's what it takes to play in the writing big leagues, son. Take notes. Repetitive notes. Fragmented notes.
Poetic notes.
"If people really think the reason we lost last year was because my arm wasn't strong enough, or because I didn't get on base enough, hey, that's cool, I'll be the man, I'll take it," says Pierre.
Look, spare me the martyr shit, dude. A guy who loses his house to a tornado is a victim. You ain't no victim. The Dodgers lost for a bunch of reasons. It definitely did not help them that they gave the guy with the second-worst OBP on the team the most ABs.
There's resolve in the house.
"I'm coming into this season with a chip on my shoulder . . . just like every season," says Pierre.
Does that mean we can expect EqAs of .256, .253 and .255 (Pierre's last three chip-shouldered seasons)? Maybe you should try playing happy or somethin'. Mix it up.
No. No no no no no no no. They can. They really can. They did. They are. The fact that you, Bill Plaschke, for some reason believe that Juan Pierre plays an entirely different, incalculable, unknowable, ineffable, ethereal, spiritual, intangible, holy, effervescent, incorporeal, bioluminescent, antioncogenic game that is emphatically not baseball does not make it so.
They have run the numbers, and they are ugly.
Bloggers downright brutalize him.
This is akin to saying "Everyone who has written on a typewriter despises rabbits." Blogging is a medium, nothing more. It is not a religion. It is not a creed. We do not all think in lockstep. This is a motherfucking boring-ass recording.
I like him.
Boom! The Plaschke turn. You thought I was going one way and then I went the other -- Plaschke-style. Let me show you how it's done:
"Most people hate turtle shit. They say it's stinky. They say it's runny. They say it doesn't serve a purpose anymore in today's workaday world.
I like it."
Now that the Dodgers have added Rafael Furcal's health and Andruw Jones' pop, I think Juan Pierre's presence at the top of the lineup will be as oversized as his cap.
Um, is he going to get any better at, you know, hitting and stuff? He's turning 31 this year. He's been very bad, I don't know if you've been watching the Dodger baseball team or anything... Now that the Dodgers have moved him to left field, I think Juan Pierre will fit as easily there as his bat fits on a bunt.
Because if at all possible, you want your left fielder to slug .353.
Now that Joe Torre is installing an aggressive running game, I think Pierre's ability on the basepaths will be as evident as the dirt streaks on his jersey.
Is he really going to steal more than the 64 bases he stole last year? That would be a terrible sign because it would mean he would be eating up like 700 plate appearances. Also: will baseball writers ever tire of mentioning dirt streaks as a proxy for baseball skill? Perhaps when we move to silicon-based fields, as I am proposing we do in 2011.
Now that it can be a complement instead of a cornerstone, I think the idea of Juan Pierre will work.
New euphemism for "shit player": "complement."
"My game is not pretty, it's just not pretty," Pierre says. "You have to be an old-school guy to appreciate it."
Your game is extremely pretty. It's exciting to watch guys take huge leads, play cat and mouse with the pitcher, kick up dirt when they slide. It invigorates the crowd. Kids love it. This is the best thing about your game -- its entertainment value. Casual fans probably love watching you play, and I don't blame them. You're f.u.n.!!!
Yours is a crowd-pleasing style all in all, Mr. Pierre -- so it stands to reason that if the crowd has turned on you, well, things probably aren't going well, are they?
That's one more reason this will be a good year for Juan Pierre.
Torre is one of those old-school guys who appreciates him.
"He does things the right way," Torre says.
If I were implausibly saintly The Wire Season 5 character Baltimore Sun City Editor Augustus "Gus" Haynes, I would slide my wise-person glasses down my wise, wise nose and pithily growl, "Cut that quote." Because it's the billionth time we've read that about the millionth different player, and it doesn't add anything. It detracts.
Contrary to the winter hopes of many Dodgers fans, Torre's lineups have indicated that Pierre will be the starting left fielder ahead of Andre Ethier.
It makes sense.
Sure it makes sense. Andre Ethier is a major-league caliber player who gets on base, hits for some power, plays good defense, has a decent throwing arm, and is currently 25 years old. Juan Pierre is a professional longshoreman who has convinced a baseball team to pay him tens of millions of dollars despite the fact that he cannot get on base, cannot hit for power, runs borderline-insane routes in the outfield, and has an arm so feeble he struggles to open jars of kalamata olive tapenade.
What's the issue here?
Pierre adds an irreplaceable speed component to the top of the Dodgers order. And, in left field, what Pierre lacks in arm, he can overcome with that speed.
That too. What Pierre lacks in OBP (twenty points to Ethier last year), he can overcome with speed. What Pierre lacks in EqA (eighteen points), he can overcome with speed. His zero homers -- well, he's fast. His 32 extra-base hits -- he's speedy. His team worst 75 OPS+ -- guy can motor. "Johnny Damon never had much of an arm, we moved him to left field, it worked out fine," says Torre. "You can offset that kind of arm with your aggressive play. You can get good jumps, get to balls that other guys can't."
Johnny Damon is on the downslide. Johnny Damon is 34 years old. Johnny Damon was never a big power hitter. Johnny Damon has like fifty-nine different injuries. Last year Johnny Damon out-OPSed Juan Pierre by 62 points. It was Johnny's worst season in seven years.
Pierre also brings something that, during last season's doldrums, everyone seemed to forget.
You can find it in a locked box in his Fort Lauderdale home.
It is the severed finger of Angela Lansbury.
He's one of only three Dodgers with a World Series ring.
But the finger -- the finger is what will lead the Dodgers to victory. Well, it'll have about as much impact, anyway.
You know who else has a Florida Marlins 2003 World Series ring? Ugueth Urbina. The evidence is conclusive: World Series experience causes you to travel to Venezuela, pour gasoline on some men and commit attempted murder on them with a machete. Ugie Urbina: he's a winner™! "The young guys know about it, they ask about it sometimes," Pierre says. "But I don't like wearing it. I'd rather lead with my actions."
"I'd rather lead off and finish third, first, second, second and first in outs in the league the last five years."
Those actions were uninspiring early last year, the first of a five-year, $44-million contract that was questioned before the ink was dry.
Trying too hard, he spent much of the early season surrounded by boos for a mediocre batting average, an awful on-base percentage and general ineffectiveness.
There you have it: when Juan Pierre sucks shit, it's because he's trying too hard. When some dickface like Pat Burrell or Adam Dunn posts a low batting average but a high OBP, he's a lazy fuckbutt. Plaschkevision.
"Yeah, I heard everybody," Pierre says. "It was like, 'Pierre, you stink' ... 'Pierre, go away' ... I heard it all."
I don't really advocate yelling insults at players, but hey: sort of perceptive work, there, Dodger Stadium crowd. I'll see you at the ballpark in person several times this year. I'll be the one in the Juan Pierre Laker jersey (Crossovers, trademark dak).
He batted .308 after the All-Star break, three points higher than his average during Florida's 2003 world championship year. He finished with 41 runs batted in, the same as in the championship year.
Batting average has never ever ever ever been Juan Pierre's problem. That's one of the like two and a half baseball things he's good at. The issues are twofold here, though: 1. Batting average is stupid and 2. Batting average is really, really stupid. Actually, I'll make another point here: in the second half of 2006, Juan Pierre improved (presumably from not trying too hard) and hit .311! He had found his stroke! He was bound for a roaring comeback! Sign this man to a $300 million deal!
Then in the first half of 2007, he batting averaged .282 and OBP-ed .311. :(
You can do a lot of fun things with pre- and post-All Star Break splits. Will Juan Pierre settle in and become the Juan Pierre of 2003-2004, when he was a valuable major league player? It's possible. Weird shit happens all the time. But after three execrable offensive years, it's hard to bet on a guy who's permanently out of his twenties. He scored four fewer runs (96), stole one fewer base (64), and, with the exception of a lack of plate discipline amid a lousy offense, he performed just as he did in Florida.
With the exception of getting on base, the most important thing a hitter can do, he was fantastic. Damn Rafael Furcal's lousy year! He's to blame for Juan Pierre's lousy year. Thank god Furcal's ankle is healthy so Pierre's eyes will work again.
In the end, Juan Pierre did exactly what Juan Pierre does.
Embarrass everyone except Bill Plaschke.
While unfairly taking the fall for a team that crumbled around him.
What exactly is unfair about saying a player burned through a ton of at bats and didn't help the team? You know what's unfair? Andre Ethier, a better player in every aspect of the game except baserunning, is being denied playing time because of a bad contract. These are Ethier's prime baseball years. He's not going to be playing as much baseball as he should. He will never get these years back. He is not a kid anymore. He's played in 279 major league games, and he's played well in those games.
Juan Pierre hit zero home runs last year. Mythical fairy creature David Eckstein hit three, for Chrissakes, and he swings a three-inch bat carved out of a candy cane.
The truth is, the idea of Juan Pierre was a good one, and still is.
Plaschke has spoken. This is The Truth. They will carve this column on alabaster tablets and hang them in our most hallowed halls of justice. Wise men will memorize these words and teach them to our young to prepare them for the trials of life. This column is the new Torah.
I can't believe you just gave away my billion dollar crossover jersey idea.
Of course, the proper Pierre jersey is actually a Kings jersey. Both Pierre and the Kings are awul; plus, on first glance Kings/Pierre/9 looks like a French Canadian hockey player.
dak and Junior flew in last night, and came over to my place in Partridge today to watch the Red Sox-Yankees game. That's fun, right? No it is not. Because we get the Dodgers-Snakes. Because who wants to watch Yankees-Red Sox on a Saturday in September? At Fenway? Beckett-Wang? Boring.
And then, we're treated to this gem from some dummy on Fox, in re: Juan Pierre:
Some folks talk about his on-base percentage -- it's a little bit lower than some fans would like. I'll take him on my team. Especially with regard to his leadership ability and his work ethic -- as well as those stats!
You can have him, friend. On our team, we will take anyone else.
You guys know how we feel about Juan Pierre. We like him as a dude. We like the way it looks like he's borrowing a giant man's helmet. We like calling him John Peter. And we think he stinks at baseball.
Just for giggles and shits, I plugged the phrase "Juan Pierre" into our Bill Simmons 1980's Movie Reference Software (available at BestBuy), and here's what I got:
"In the world of out machines, Juan Pierre is the WOPR." Not bad for $24.95!
And now, take it away, Jayson Addcox of mlb.com! What is it about the on-base percentage that a player like Juan Pierre -- who leads the Dodgers in at-bats, runs scored, hits, stolen bases, triples and games played -- gets knocked for not having his higher than .350?
So much to digest, so quickly. Let's chuck the grammatical wonkiness out the window and just try to deal with the question at hand: Why does Juan Pierre get knocked for having an on-base percentage below .350? I made a list!
1) Because he's a lead-off hitter. 2) Because he has no power to make up for his lack of OBP. 3) Because he's being paid $45 million by the Dodgers. 4) Because his OBP isn't just a hair below .350 -- it's .324 this year. 5) Because .324 is good enough for 134th out of 171 eligible MLB batters. 6) Because there's a massive conspiracy against Juan Pierre.
By the way, why didn't he just say "gets knocked for not having his higher than .400"? It would have made Pierre look a lot better to anyone who was too lazy to look up his actual OBP.
Of course, Juan Pierre leads the Dodgers in triples, so I'm supposed to let it go, I guess. I'm supposed to forget that he's a lead-off hitter who doesn't walk for a second, and give him credit for leading the team in AB's? Wait -- hold on -- I'm supposed to be giving him credit at all for leading the team in AB's when in the same sentence you're admitting that he can't get on base? Ba-wuh?
He's batted in four different spots in the lineup this season. When he's hitting well, he's in the leadoff or No. 2 slot, but when he's slumping, manager Grady Little hasn't hesitated putting Pierre in the seventh or eighth slot.
I know I'm opening myself up to "you wouldn't know because you never played baseball" criticism here, but is it really so difficult to hit in different spots in the line-up? Does Juan Pierre's head explode when he sees that he's batting in the 7th spot? Is he suddenly going up to the plate and trying to catch the ball in his mouth because he has no idea how to hit 7th?
(Incidentally, I did play baseball, at least when I was young. Played 3rd base for my little league team. My coach encouraged me to play 3rd like a hockey goalie, and ended up earning the nickname "Reggie" that year thanks to late 80's Bruins goalie Rejean Lemelin. What were we talking about again?)
The issue with Pierre is that he doesn't walk. Plain and simple, his OBP suffers because he averages one walk every 21 at-bats. On the season, he has just 24 walks in 510 at-bats, which is the lowest in the Majors. On the flip side, Pierre doesn't strike out often, either. He has struck out just 32 times this season, which is once every 15.9 at-bats, making him the hardest batter to strike out in the Senior Circuit.
In the red corner: walking. Getting on base. Not getting out. Making the pitcher throw at least four pitches to you. Getting to first base so you can do the one thing you do well: steal bases.
In the blue corner: not striking out. In Pierre's case, finding other ways to get out. If you believe us, not really a good thing. Not a bad thing, just not a good thing.
Not striking out isn't "the flip side" of not walking. It's a different goddam coin. A coin that you keep in your pocket when talking about baseball because it's not really relevant, unless you want to talk about the virtues of the coin itself in a vacuum. You know what I mean. (Hopefully. Because I don't.)
Also, those of you who like not-striking-out-ability usually point to things like productive outs and "good things happening when you put the ball into play." Of course, Pierre's a lead-off hitter, so more than any other player in the line-up, he's going to have the lowest percentage of opportunities for "productive outs" anyway. This season, Pierre leads the Dodgers with 147 hits. He is fifth in the NL with 45 multi-hit games, he leads the Majors with 14 sacrifice bunts and he's second in the Majors only to Jose Reyes with 50 stolen bases, and yet his OBP supposedly isn't cutting it.
"Jayson, it's Darryl. Just going over your copy for the latest mlb.com article...No, yeah, it's fine. One thing. Looks like the word 'supposedly' somehow got into the last sentence of paragraph eight...Right...No? You sure?" "He's a disruptive force when's he's on base," Little said. "The other team has to be concerned with him regularly and it disrupts the pitcher. The whole key is for him to get on base and that's what we like."
Write it down, kids: When writing an article in support of Juan Pierre, it's okay to admit that he has a low OBP, as long as you quote the manager of his team saying that the whole key is for him to get on base. A thing, which, you've already pointed out, he does poorly.
Compared to some of the elite leadoff batters in the game, Pierre's .324 on-base percentage is considerably low. Reyes has an OBP of .375, Hanley Ramirez is at .392, Chone Figgins is at .392 and Ichiro is at .396, so the consensus is that a No. 1 or 2 hitter in the lineup needs to have a .350 or higher OBP.
Seriously, it's me. Juan P. John Peter. J.P. Non-Ricciardi. The FJM guys like to crack on me, but it's all in good fun. We're actually buds. Junior lent me his Blogger login (blogin?) and password and told me to go nuts, so here I am. The thing is, I think it's fine for people to enjoy watching me run fast on the basepaths and hit a lot of weak infield dribblers. I understand that it's exciting to see a man attempt to steal a base, and so does Junior. You can like my style. Just don't think I'm good. Because I'm not.
Take, for instance, Mr. Tim Brown. Tim writes for Yahoo! Sports and he likes me. That's cool, Tim. Tim also has a persecution complex because he thinks people don't like him because he likes me. I'm here to say it's all right, Tim. It's all right if I'm the "Juan" that you want. (Get it? Grease.) It's okay if you sing the U2 song "One" but replace the word "one" with the word "Juan." It's fine if you like scrappy speedy gritty hustly men. Just don't think they're especially effective, especially if they OBP in the .200s and slug .00014.
LOS ANGELES – Every afternoon it is was as new as it was going to be, this baseball thing, life in L.A., in Dodger Stadium, surrounded by people who believed he's not very good at this.
And every night it was as good as it was going to be, baseball in L.A. at Dodger Stadium, surrounded by people now sure he's not very good at this.
Juan Pierre is not a good leadoff hitter, capable center fielder or wise investment. He's not a winner.
That is what they are sure of.
Tim, the thing is ... when you write an intro like this, usually the implication is that the fans are wrong. But um, they're sort of right. Right now I am not a good leadoff hitter. I'm probably just an okay center fielder. And I'm almost certainly not a wise investment. And I never have been. Again, it's okay if you like watching me run fast. That's still cool. With me?
Yet every team he has played for has made him the leadoff hitter, the center fielder, and paid him plenty of money to do it. When he led off and played center field for the 2003 Florida Marlins, they won a World Series and he was 10th in the MVP vote. That was then.
Right. Well. You're right. 2003 was fun. One of my better years, actually. Proud of that .361 OBP (it's down to .312 this year, whoops!) And hey, 10th in the MVP voting, wow! Even I forgot about that. But Tim, did you know that of the eight regular position players that year, I finished seventh in OPS+? Behind even Juan Encarnacion and Alex Gonzalez? I know this, Tim. Because I was there.
And when I told a scout I still wanted to like Juan Pierre the player, he told me, "Don't."
Which scout was this, Tim? Was it Willie B.? It was Razormouth, wasn't it? Backwards-arm? Ebenezer. Aunt Charlene? Zohlflan. Hephaestus?
Anyway, the point is, all of those scouts agree I am a terrible baseball player. When I told him I couldn't dismiss a player who worked longer, cared more, played harder than all but a handful of others in the league, he said, "Seriously, don't."
Yep, that sounds like Deathkill. Great guy. Great scout.
Apparently, we don't like Juan Pierre anymore. He doesn't hit for power and he doesn't get on base. He takes odd routes in the outfield and, when he and the Dodgers are lucky, covers the mistakes with speed. He throws poorly. He does steal bases and he does hit singles.
Yes! Yes. Great paragraph, Tim. Wow. Phenomenal. If I were a nut, that would be a great shell for me. Kudos.
And, for that, he'll be paid $44 million through 2011.
Ha ha! Sweet. I just bought a Maserati and drove it into the harbor. Hey, a dolphin!
I just bought the dolphin and rode it to shore. I don't care. I like to watch him play. I like him on base, when he is. I like his first seven years after the All-Star break, when he's batted .318, when his on-base percentage is .361. I like a player who runs hard, no matter what, every time.
You hear that? That is exactly the argument for people who like me. Call it the Credo of the Juan Pierre Fan Club. It is this: "I don't care if he's good, bad, or very very bad. I like him anyway." Totally, totally defensible.
It's like saying, hey, I don't care if Allen Iverson shoots 27% next year -- I like how it looks when those 27% of his shots do go in. He's exciting. He's little. He has cool hair.
If you want to like me, or D-Eck, or D-Erst, or whoever, you can! Again, just don't make the argument that we're actually valuable. It's purely aesthetic. Admit it. I don't care who pays him or how much they pay him, not when he's on first, and El Duque can't unravel fast enough to help Paul Lo Duca in the least.
I bet Dodger fans will care in 2011 when I'm just eating up the payroll! (Sorry, Dodger fans!)
He won't apologize for his game, because it's every bit of what he's got. The Dodgers wanted him. Here he is. All of him. Every day.
"I know I have limitations," he says.
That quote is taken OUT OF CONTEXT. The full quote is "I am Juan Pierre and I know I have limitations, including hitting, hitting for power, walking, taking good routes, throwing, getting on base in general, baseball, most racquet sports, softball, T-ball, and Australian rules baseball. I am fast, and if you like me because of that, God bless you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy every seat in the theater for the next showing of Mr. Brooks. I make a lot of money, and I am a big Kevin Costner fan. I am Juan Pierre."
That's all for this edition of PierreBlog. Thanks to Junior for letting me post!
It's a new FJM game where we take as a given that the article and its included quotes from various people are wrong, and then we rate each wrong-time on a 9-point scale. Why nine? It's Juan Pierre's uniform number.
Pierre, Matthews Stake Out Middle Ground
Critics said the Dodgers and Angels overspent for their new center fielders, but both teams are getting pretty much what they expected from the free-agent signees, and both are in first place.
By Bill Shaikin, Times Staff Writer
Let's just begin by wondering what these teams were expecting from these guys.
Juan Pierre, in his career, has a .256 EqA. That is below average for a major league baseball player. He is a below average offensive baseball player. Drink that in, Ned Colletti lovers. (And if you somehow think that Pierre plays stellar-enough defense to overcome this below-average-itude, his career FRAA is -7.) 50th percentile PECOTA had him at .250 EqA and 3.4 WARP3. His highest WARP3 in a season is 6.0. He plays CF. He has 4,286 AB and 265 BB. This = not good.
Juan Pierre: slightly below average in all phases of the game. Gary Matthews Jr. A career line of .265/.338/.421. A career .269 EqA. -18 FRAA career. Season high of 7.2 WARP3 (not bad, but also flukey compared to the 2.0, 3.7, 4.2 he had in the three previous years). His 50th percentile PECOTA projection had him at .272 EqA and 3.5 WARP3.
Gary Matthews Jr. -- above average in some aspects of the game, mostly about average or below average.
That's what these teams should have been expecting. So, how much is it wrong to say that both teams are getting what they expected? It's only a 4 on the 9-point wrongness scale, because this year, Juan Pierre is at a .240 EqA and Gary Matthews Jr. is a good-for-you! .305. The Halos have to be happy, while the Dodgers should totally have been expecting the .616 OPS they're getting from out-maker extraordinaire Juan Pierre.
Chone Figgins speaks with some authority about center field. He played there last year, before the Angels signed Gary Matthews Jr. and bumped him to third base.
Yes. Let us listen to Chone Figgins instead of: reason.
Figgins sees Matthews every day. He speaks with Pierre, his best friend in baseball, almost every day. He gives Matthews the edge in power,
Really? Even though Juan Pierre has almost thirteen career HR? Okay, Chone, give the power edge to Matthews. It's your funeral.
Pierre the edge in speed, and thumbs up to the clubs that invested a combined $94 million to bring them to Southern California.
"You can't go wrong with either one," Figgins said.
I guess that depends on one's definition of "go wrong." If by "you can't go wrong" you mean "you can't go very right with Matthews, and you can't go anywhere with Pierre" then I agree.
That opinion was far from unanimous during the winter, after Matthews and Pierre each signed a five-year deal to play in the Southland.
The Angels paid $50 million for Matthews, and the critics howled: way too much for a guy coming off a career year! The Dodgers paid $44 million for Pierre, and the critics howled again: way too much for a singles hitter with a spotty on-base percentage!
But what do the critics know, right? I mean, Matthews is having a good year, but he's 32, and he projects to a 1.7 WARP in the final year of his $50m contract. And Pierre...Pierre is just hopeless. In 180 AB he has walked 8 times and has a .307 OBP, good for a rock-liquid 140th in MLB. And he's a leadoff/2-hole hitter. He is one of the worst people in the league at not making outs, and the D0dgers give him the maximum possible number of out-making opportunities a player can have. Trying to score runs with Juan Pierre as your leadoff hitter is like trying to suture a wound in a moving car. You might still be successful -- but why make it so hard on yourself?
Anyway, I'm sure Bill Shaikin will come to the same conclusions.
Yet, if you base the early returns on the standings, the investments are paying off. The Angels are in first place with Matthews, the Dodgers are in first place with Pierre, and isn't that the point?
Bad news -- I fed that paragraph into the Wrong Machine, (expecting a perfect nine, obviously), and the Wrong Machine just started shaking back and forth and smoke came out and it exploded.
Let us use the logic of this piece of writing to form some other conclusions:
1. In 2003 the Detroit Pistons drafted Darko Milicic instead of Bosh, Carmelo, or D-Wade, and won the 2004 championship, so it was a good idea to draft Darko Milicic.
2. In 2006 four top Italian soccer clubs were investigated for match-fixing in one of the biggest scandals in European sports history, and Italy won the World Cup that year, so it was a good idea to get involved in match fixing.
3. James Dean got into a car wreck and died and he's still really famous, so it's a good idea to get into car wrecks.
And so on.
The simplest way to say this is: if the Dodgers' hit anyone in their line-up -- LaRoche, Martin, even Ethier -- in the slot currently occupied by Juan Pierre, they would probably score more runs. And if they could go back in time and undo the insane contract they gave Pierre and instead just play a decent AAA guy in his place, they would score about the same number of runs and have 43.667 million extra dollars.
The Angels are getting all of what they wanted from Matthews, the Dodgers most of what they wanted from Pierre.
They apparently wanted Pierre to punch them in the face and set fire to the clubhouse. That's the only way they could be happy with what they're getting.
Matthews, 32, has been a godsend to an offense that scarcely extends beyond Vladimir Guerrero.
Sadly, this is a low 2.6 on the 9-point Wrong Scale. (Found a replacement machine -- it's up and running again.) Matthews is having a good year. Again: he's 32 and embroiled in an HGH scandal, so I'm still not quite sure that $50m over five is a good idea. But right now, fine.
The Angels coveted him for defense, and he has delivered from opening day, when he robbed Mark Teixeira with a leaping catch so impressive that television cameras caught pitcher John Lackey mouthing, "That's why we got him!"
Said Lackey: "I got dividends right out of the gate. He's made a lot of difference. He's already robbed a few home runs. His range has helped us a lot."
Yes, Matthews does make spectacular catches. The one he made last year will be shown on JumboTrons forever. But his career FRAA indicate that he is not an otherworldly CF.
Pierre has not starred on defense.
You don't say.
In the first inning of the first game, Vin Scully pointed out Pierre's weak arm, explaining how Rickie Weeks set up the Milwaukee Brewers' first run by racing from first base to third on a single to center field.
This is going to happen a lot over the next five years, Dodger fans. Get used to it.
He has occasionally taken a poor route to a ball. Dodgers General Manager Ned Colletti said Pierre's range has been statistically outstanding over the years and suggested he might simply be struggling to adjust to the conditions of his new home field, with its five decks and palette of pastel seats.
Juan Pierre: susceptible to architectual aesthetics.
"No," Pierre said. "If I play bad, it's because I play bad. It's not the field or any kind of condition."
This gets a 0.0 on the Wrong Scale. Nice work, Juan.
On offense, he gets hits and steals bases, as expected. He leads the Dodgers in both categories, and he's on pace to score 100 runs. But he's batting .278, below his career average of .302, and his on-base percentage of .304 would be a career low.
"He's hitting .280 and stealing bases. That's all right," Figgins said. "If you want to take that as struggling, a lot of guys will take that. He's scoring runs, which is what you want, and they're in first place."
How do you not understand that he would be scoring more runs if he made fewer outs? Why is this so hard to grasp? If his OBP is .304 and he's on pace to score 100 runs, isn't it obvious that if his OBP were, say, .360, he'd probably be on pace to score 125 runs? (Wild guess -- don't email me with corrections.)
"For the first three weeks or so, he was trying to get six hits every game and steal five bases every game," Colletti said. "I told him, 'All you have to do is be Juan Pierre.'
Is it possible that Ned Colletti is pulling a "Producers" on the Dodgers? Deliberately tanking them so he can pocket a lot of investors' money and skip town? Giving Juan Pierre $44m over five years and telling him to just be himself...that's enough to convict a GM of racketeering and fraud.
And happily, I am his Pontius Pilate. Hi Juan! Juan's been popping up in a lot of articles recently, and he's the star of an absolute beauty written by the appealingly named Diamond Leung of the Riverside Press-Enterprise.
$44 mil and he still practices bunting: New Dodgers center fielder Pierre a throwback
I award one point to the editor for calling a non-white guy a throwback. Good job. Here is the formula I think is the industry standard:
Non-white guy + 20 hours of bunting practice per week = White enough to be a throwback
Quiet respite from his hectic schedule is hard to come by, but in the seconds before every plate appearance, Juan Pierre makes the sign of the cross and prays in silence.
"Please God, give me the strength to OBP higher than Alfredo Amezaga this year."
The Dodgers' new center fielder doesn't ask for a particular result,
And thus, in a little joke of His, God has condemned Pierre to finish first or second in the National League in outs for the last four years running.
A manager's favorite, Pierre hasn't taken a day off in five years.
This is actually pretty awesome. Pierre is a durable guy. Unfortunately, his teams the last two years probably would have been better off if he had ceded some games to a guy who could stop making outs at such a prodigious rate.
Oh, and it's four years. Pierre has played in 162 games the last four years. In 2002, he played in 152 games.
"I just want to be perfect," said the 29-year-old, who reported to spring training early after signing a five-year, $44 million contract this winter. "Every year you have to be more perfect."
Well, he was more perfect in 2006 than 2005, upping his OBP from .326 to .330! Unfortunately, in 2004, when he was good, it was .374. Juan Pierre! With a .374 OBP! Seems like so long ago.
But as Dodgers legend Maury Wills said in defense of his new pupil, "Nobody's perfect."
Maury Wills sounds like he's already super down on Juan. "Nobody's perfect" is the best defense you have of your guy? Don't jack up those expectations sky-high, now, Maury.
Even Pierre, a powerless throwback to the dead-ball era whose name has been dropped in lyrics by hip-hop icon Jay-Z, can't be all things to all people.
The problem with being a throwback to the dead-ball era is that in the dead-ball era, everyone was hitting with no power, so it wasn't so bad to have 12 career home runs in 4110 career at bats (actually, that probably would've been pretty bad even then). Everyone's balls were dead. (Balls! Ha!) That's why they call it the dead-ball era. Pierre is now playing in a very very live-ball era and he has the power of a small, furry kitten who has been taught to swing a mini-bat.
Since 2001, Pierre has the most hits (1,182) in the National League and the most steals (318) in baseball, but he's unloved by statheads armed to the teeth with evidence of his fallibility.
Ha! That's me! My "head" is a "stat." I have a stat where my head should be. And that stat of a head responds: in that time frame, Pierre has the second most outs (2,966) and the most caught stealings (110). Jimmy Rollins has more outs, but he hit 25 home runs last year. Juan Pierre hit three.
Pierre didn't commit an error while playing with the Chicago Cubs last year, but critics cite his below-average arm. He stole 58 bases but was caught 20 times. He hit .292 as a leadoff hitter and was the most difficult player to strike out, but his on-base percentage was only 38 points higher than his batting average.
Wow. You did the arguing for me. Thanks.
Call him a walking contradiction and you'd be shouted down with a retort that for a fast runner, Pierre doesn't walk much at all -- only 32 in 750 trips to the batter's box last year.
"That is so ludicrous," said Wills, who revolutionized basestealing in the 1960s. "Who's going to walk Juan Pierre? You're walking a double. They make him hit the ball, and he got 204 hits last year. What do you want?"
Yes, that must be why Rickey Henderson absolutely never walked. What fool pitcher would walk Henderson? (One year, Rickey Henderson walked 126 times and stole 77 bases. Another year, he walked 116 times and stole 130 bases.) Anyone who expects Juan Pierre to be Rickey Henderson must be a total asshole. I am that asshole.
"All he does is win and will you to win," said Dodgers third base coach Rich Donnelly, who also coached Pierre in Colorado. "The (critics) think a guy who makes the money that he makes should drive in 150, but there are so many things that he does that are not measured by stats -- getting a guy over, stealing a base, taking the extra base."
First of all, I'm pretty sure "stealing a base" is measured by a stat. The stat is called a "steal." Secondly, steals are incorporated into EqA. That's why Juan Pierre's 2006 OPS+ is a miserable 81, but his 2006 EqA is only slightly below average, at .255. His ability to "will you to win," I grant you, is not currently measurable by stats. "I gotta do it to survive in this game," said Pierre, who won a World Series ring with Florida in 2003. "I gotta be that much better because of my lack of power and arm strength. I don't look at it as work. It's just fun to me."
That's fine. I fully support Juan Pierre's industriousness. I'm impressed that you made the big leagues, Juan. You obviously did something right. It's not your fault some people think you're a little better than you really are. Congrats on the career and everything.
"There's only one man you gotta please, and it's the one upstairs," Pierre said. "People even hated God and Jesus. That'll tell you what all the critics do.
Now wait a minute! Because your OBP has fallen off a cliff the last two years, suddenly you're Jesus?
You know what -- now it all makes sense. In Juan Pierre's brain, out-liness is next to godliness. He already increased his out percentage in 2006 to a heavenly .670. In this coming baseball season, I look forward to watching Juan go all out for a perfect OP of 1.000.
"That is so ludicrous," said Wills, who revolutionized basestealing in the 1960s. "Who's going to walk Juan Pierre?
Secretly, this is the dumbest part. It implies that a batter has no agency over a walk. Walks are 100% a pitcher-created entity. Pitchers decide whom to walk and when. I'm sleepy.
Enough with telling us who should and shouldn't be famous. We get it. You want undersized fast gentlemen to get more credit, or at least more ladies when they go out to a bar or something. Big and strong bad. Small and weak good.
The thing is, sometimes you just ruin your own case. Take you, Tom Singer of MLB.com. You wrote an article with this headline (presumably written by your editor, with whom you should have words):
Table setters lack fame but spark runs
And then right under that headline you put a picture (perhaps not you, but the web layout guy, another guy with whom you should look into having a conversation) of this man:
Hey, here's the thing, Tom Singer: that guy is super famous. He is among the most famous of baseball men. If pressed to name any four baseball players, my mother would likely name that guy and then stop altogether. My mother barely speaks English. I would argue that this particular Japanese gentleman possesses fame just about equally as well as he "spark(s) runs." Not even counting Japan, where I believe his likeness can be found on the 1000, 5000, and 10,000-yen notes.
Then the subhead:
Indispensable pests find ways on base without elite power
Like, walking? No, of course you do not mean walking. Guys who walk a lot are already too famous. I am so sick and tired of the damn MTV generation and their infatuation with Brian Giles.
Thirty years ago, Neil Young musically reminded us that "Rust Never Sleeps," and the baseball cognoscenti's spin on that is, "Speed Never Slumps."
Does the phrase "musically reminded us" bother anyone else as much as it's bugging the shit out of me? I'm going to say bad writing on that one. Factor in the totally incorrect cliche, the word "cognoscenti," and you have one terrible sentence. I'm musically reminded of the Godspeed You! Black Emperor song "This Opening Sentence Stinks Like A Stinky Person's Stinky Ass" (warning: song may not actually exist).
In a game that celebrates and dotes on the big guys who clean up, there is still a major role for the little men who land opposing pitchers in a mess to begin with.
No one anywhere is arguing that there is no role for them. If you can get on base and play defense at a major league level, chances are you are playing for a major league team. Congratulations. I'm sorry you're not famous enough for Tom Singer.
Chicks, and the TV highlights, may dig the long ball, but your typical manager is equally fond of the short game of those able to play with nuance, not brawn.
I reject the notion that Kevin Youkilis refusing to swing at a pitch two inches outside is not playing with "nuance." Plus, he's not really even "brawny." He's more "sorta fat."
Chicago White Sox pitching coach Don Cooper said it all a couple of springs ago, when he dropped the names of Barry Bonds -- the game's most feared slugger -- and Ichiro Suzuki -- its primary skills player -- into the same sentence.
"I'd say they are the two most dangerous hitters in the game," Cooper opined, giving pitchers' perspective.
Now hold on a second. Ichiro is good. I'm not denying that. But he's nowhere near one of the most dangerous hitters in the game unless you're defining dangerous as "only capable of hitting singles." Plus, when Don Cooper said that, it made marginally more sense because Ichiro was coming off a season in which he hit .372, which is especially impressive to people who care about batting average. In the past two years since Cooper's comment, Ichiro has declined precipitously (not to mention what Bonds has done).
So basically: why the fuck are you talking about what Don Cooper said in 2005?
And here's a fun extra thing: in 2004, Ichiro's finest as a hitter in the American big leagues, he had a VORP of 68.7. Barry Bonds' VORP that year was 132.0. No real point there, just: wow, was Steroidy Barry Bonds good! The Ichiros are the players who, in addition to setting the tables, give the manager something to fall back on when the power is unplugged. Very simple, really: You can't hit a home run at will, but, for those proficient at it, you can bunt and hit to the right side in your sleep.
There's a good reason baseball is called a game of inches, not a game of 400 feet.
Yes, I agree. We should allow the cliche "Baseball is a game of inches" to determine what works and doesn't work in the game. It's fortunate the song "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" includes the lyric "One, two, three strikes you're out at the old ballgame" because if it said four, we would have to change gameplay accordingly. "A guy hitting 50-60 homers ... that's great, but that still leaves him with 500-some at-bats when he isn't hitting them," reasons Juan Pierre, now with the Dodgers and one of the best contemporary setup hitters. "So the home run is great, but just the chances of it happening aren't that great.
Now we're getting somewhere. How psyched was Juan Pierre to give quotes for this article? Tom Singer: Hi, Juan? Juan Pierre: Yes Tom. TS: I'd like to write an article basically perpetuating the notion that guys like you -- you know, make a lot of outs, very few extra-base hits, career steal percentage of 73.7 -- are extremely valuable ... just as valuable as, say, Lance Berkman or Paul Konerko! JP: Of course I will help you. I must thank people like you for a goodly portion of this $45 million I am sleeping on!
As Pirates pitcher Fritz Ostermueller said more than a half-century ago, with a nod toward matinee idol teammate Ralph Kiner, "Home run hitters drive Cadillacs; singles hitters drive Chevys."
I know for a fact that Michael Cuddyer drives a Sebring. Does that affect anything?
But you know what? Those "singles" hitters also drive championship teams. Do you suppose all the people over the years who have echoed Ostermueller's quote, turning it into one of the most legendary in history, ever stopped to think that Kiner's seven Pirates teams were among the worst ever, diving an aggregate total of 193 games under .500?
Pick a response: a) WHO CARES b) INCORRECT USE OF STATISTICS c) ALREADY STOPPED READING ARTICLE, NOW REFRESHING CUTE OVERLOAD, LOOK, PUPPIES
Conversely, no National League team with a league homer champ in its lineup has appeared in the World Series since 1983, when the Phillies got in with Mike Schmidt.
I mean, really.
2006 St. Louis Cardinals, Albert Pujols, 49 HR 2005 Houston Astros, Morgan Ensberg, 36 HR 2004 St. Louis Cardinals, Albert Pujols, 46 HR (plus Jim Edmonds, 42 HR) 2003 Florida Marlins, Mike Lowell, 32 HR 2002 San Francisco Giants, Barry Bonds, 46 HR 2001 Arizona Diamondbacks, Luis Gonzalez, 57 HR
And that's just this century. These guys hit a lot of home runs. Why in the world would we expect the league homer champ's team to have that huge an advantage over, say, the second-place homer guy's? Or third? It's a difference of a few home runs, and it's totally outweighed by the other eight guys hitting and, um, all of the guys pitching. This is what makes a two-time World Series hero of David Eckstein, and why there is room for 5-foot-9 Dustin Pedroia among the Boston redwoods.
Ed. note: Tom, per the recent league-wide memo, David Eckstein must be referred to in print as "1-foot-9 bowlegged asthmatic cancer survivor David Eckstein." Please revise accordingly. Thank you.
Says San Diego reliever Cla Meredith, a former Minor League teammate of the new Red Sox second baseman, "Don't sell him short.
Shouldn't "Don't sell them short" have been the title of this article? It's just perfectly awful enough.
If we define a table setter as someone with 500-plus at-bats who does not homer in double-figures, a total of 16 qualified in 2006. They included Pittsburgh's Freddy Sanchez, whose six homers were the fewest for a batting champ since Tony Gwynn in 1996.
Let me guess: half of your "table setters" are bad.
Besides obvious perennials like Ichiro, Eckstein, Pierre and Cabrera, others included Mark Loretta, Chone Figgins, Omar Vizquel, Willy Taveras, Dave Roberts and Jason Kendall.
Yep. Maybe not bad. Average, I guess. It's weird how specifically filtering out power eliminates almost everyone who is really good. Does anyone really believe that Mark Loretta should be more famous than he is? He is the definition of average and he should stay that way. In 2002, Alex Rodriguez and Rafael Palmeiro combined for 100 homers, but Texas finished deep in the AL West basement. Meanwhile, with Darin Erstad and Eckstein combining for 44 steals and 41 sacrifices (bunts and flies), the Angels won the World Series.
Holy fucking atheism. This is so dumb it's not worth dignifying with a response. But I like dignifying. They call me the Dignifier. John F. Q. Z. Dignifier, Esq.
(The Angels also had a higher team OPS+ because like seven of their hitters had decent offensive seasons. The Rangers were A-Rod, Raffy, Pudge, and shit.)
(Darin Erstad was the worst hitter on the team not named Bengie Molina. .313 OBP.)
The do-everything guys are doubly dangerous. The implied threat is as effective as the executed play.
Would it be fair to say that Tom Singer's favorite team would be the Portland Implications? Instead of ever getting on base, they could repeatedly fake bunts and then hit sacrifice flies for non-existent base-runners. They might end the year with zero runs but they'd lead the league in threats and plays-the-right-way. In their home ballpark, the Imagination Dome, neither team uses actual baseballs or bats. They just do a wonderful mime of pitching and bunting and stealing and then everyone goes out for ice cream.
Tom Singer: Hey Juan Pierre, hot soup. Tough one. I'm going to ask you, Juan Pierre, how important you think what you (Juan Pierre) do is to a baseball team?
"You're asking the wrong guy, because I think that's very important," Pierre says.
TS: Yes. Please. Expand on your own importance.
"Guys like me do so many different things. When you always got a man on base, it puts a lot of pressure on the defense and maybe gets the pitcher to give that home run hitter a better pitch to hit.
TS: Do you think it's strange I'm asking you to glorify yourself in this manner?
JP: Yes, very. I do like how you keep caressing my hair while we speak. It is very soothing.
TS: Yes, it is. Juan Pierre -- John Peter, can I call you John Peter? Can you provide me with a quote to end my article? Preferably something that insults the average fan.
"Everyone notices the home run. Bam! It's right there," Pierre says. "There's lots of stuff we do that the average fan doesn't see. You've got to know the ins of the game."
I'd say Pierre knows the "outs" of the game! Wink! (Juan Pierre led the league in outs in 2006).
The way this guy talks about home runs, you almost start to forget it's the single most valuable thing you can ever do when you are standing at the plate short of knocking Johan Santana out of the game by hitting him in the face with the ball.
Welcome to baseball outside the box score.
Welcome to a world where these players are everyone's favorite because we don't keep score at all. We just throw the ball up in the air, no one wears uniforms, and everyone on the field just dances. It's a dance party.
James sent the following. I like the way this guy thinks.
You shouldn't have been surprised that Singer's 500 at-bat, single-digit homer club was, in fact, very average rather than bad. This particular version of cherry-picking -- requiring 500 at-bats -- tends to single-handedly weed out "bad" players.
The more interesting question would be how those players stack up not against all of baseball but against other players with 500 at bats or more. Only 120 guys had 500 at bats. Given that the number of players on a 25-man roster at any given time is 750, which means roughly 450 offensive players, we're already talking about weeding out 2/3 of all MLB at-bats. So, really, if these guys are about average for all of baseball, they are way below average for the 500 at-bat club.
You know what's funny? The people who argue the vehemently-est that stats don't matter and that stats don't tell the whole story are often the people who most egregiously cherry-pick stats to prove their warped points. That's funny.
However, there has been a weird lack of terrible sportswriting recently...at least that I have seen. I thrilled a little to find that ARod and Jeter used to have sleepovers five days a week back in the day. That's embarrassing, for everyone, I think. But as far as articles go, I haven't found many HatGuy-level insanities in the first days of Spring Training. So keep those tips coming, if you got 'em.
For now, to help pass the time, here's a snippet of wisdom from Maury Wills, in re: Juan Pierre. When you read the quote, remember two things: first, remember that Juan Pierre is one of the most prodigious out-makers in all of baseball. He makes tons of outs. Last year he made 526 outs! In fact, mostly what he does when he plays baseball is: make outs. And second, remember that the job of a leadoff hitter is to not make outs. Got it? Remembering those two things? Now read the quote!
As for the question of whether Pierre should bat leadoff or behind Rafael Furcal in the No. 2 spot, Wills has an opinion.
"I'd be willing to bet [Pierre] bats leadoff," he said. "He's a natural leadoff hitter."
Ned Colletti is cornering the market on leadoff hitters. One year after signing Rafael Furcal to a surprising three-year, $39 million contract, the Dodgers GM landed Juan Pierre for five years, $45 million.
They apparently will bat Pierre in the No. 2 spot, using his high-contact, low-impact approach in a traditional, Nellie Fox fashion. It's amazing that a guy the Cubs were ambivalent about re-signing could land a five-year contract, but Pierre has a good reputation within the game and led the National League with 204 hits.
"This man gets on base an awful lot," Colletti said. "He gets 200 hits or more, is a great guy on a club and, like Nomar (Garciaparra), has great qualities as a human being."
.260 is league average. And it takes SB into account, so don't start yelling about his SBs.
At least Pierre averages 12 HR. Per 4110 AB.
Can Juan Pierre's great qualities as a human being reach base? Because if they can, he might be worth the forty-five million dollars they are going to pay him until he is 34 years old. Hitting him second is going to murder this offense.
And as the linked blurb goes onto say:
Pierre also led the league with 20 caught-stealings, the fifth time in six years he has been at the top of that category. The most troubling stat was just 32 walks in 740 plate appearances. Pitchers have realized there's no reason not to challenge him.
And:
The Dodgers would have been better to re-sign Kenny Lofton and wait another year on 22-year-old Matt Kemp, who has shown he can become a dynamic force in center.
Ned Colletti is so much better than Paul Computeresta, isn't he?
Live From Joe Morgan's Brain, It's Sunday Night (Inanities)!
Clunkiest post title ever? Hopefully. I'm pretty hung over. The best tonic for my ills, naturally, is a dose of good ol' Sunday Night Baseball, America's number one rated show about Sunday night baseball. And at precisely 5:02 PST, Joe Morgan delivered the stupid once again, proving he hasn't lost a step in the offseason.
Jon Miller: Tonight, we're thrilled because this Cardinal ballclub, with that great talent in the middle of the lineup, Scott Rolen, Jim Edmonds, and one of the most impressive all-around players -- all-around hitters, especially -- we've seen on Sunday Night Baseball: Albert Pujols.
Joe Morgan: Well, Jon, he's the MVP of the National League, but he could've won two or three more if it wasn't for Barry Bonds. Not only is he a great hitter, not only is he a great baserunner, not only is he a great defensive player, but he is also a great team player, and that's what's more important.
More important than his hitting? Truly, Joe, it is good to have you back spouting nonsense once again.
Everything that he does, he does it for the team.
This is such a good point. I can't emphasize this enough. Guys have to do stuff for their team. For instance, last year, Travis Hafner accidentally hit 24 home runs for the Diamondbacks. (Fortunately, Michihiro Ogasawaraof the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters hit exactly 24 home runs for the Indians, so things evened out.)
And when your best player is also your best team player, you're way ahead of the game.
You will never. Ever. Ever. Convince me that David Eckstein is not the Cardinals' best team player. Ever.
Then, at 5:04 PST:
Jon Miller: The Cubs also have a little bit of a different look this year. They brought over the basestealer, Juan Pierre.
Joe Morgan: Well, Jon, I think they need a little bit of a different look.
Huh. You're in favor of a guy who is an OBP black hole (or at least was in 2005) but attempts a lot of steals. Do tell.
Over 42% of their runs were scored by the home run. That means that you're just living and dying by the home run.
Over 42%, Joe? Awfully precise for a guy who believe computers abducted his young children and forced them to read cyber-Communist literature. I don't have the data for total runs scored on home runs per team, but let's do a back of the envelope-type comparison. I'm going to use the ratio of home runs to total runs, which should give us a rough idea of if a team is doing too much "living and dying" by the home run.
In 2005, the Chicago Cubs hit 194 home runs and scored 703 runs, for a HR/R ratio of 0.276. The scrappy, gutty, run-like-crazy, smallball, smartball, Guillen-led Southsiders who won the World Series on pure heart and guts and scraps hit 200 home runs and scored 741 runs, for a HR/R ratio of 0.270. That's right, the difference between these two teams was the difference between the batting averages of 2005 Edgar Renteria (.276) and 2005 Royce Clayton (.270). So there you go. You can win the World Series by hitting a lot of home runs and not having much else going on on offense. We know this because the White Sox did it just last year. But of course, I bet if you asked Joe, he would've recommended the Pale Hose pick up Pierre in the offseason as well. Can you imagine? Two speedy leadoff men in one lineup! How could they lose?
Well, now they have Juan Pierre, one of the best leadoff hitters in the game, one of the best basestealers in the game, and one of the best defensive centerfielders in the game. So he's going to change the game for these one-run losses that they had a lot of last year. He's going to make a big difference in close ballgames, and I guarantee you before this season is over, the fans here at Wrigley Field are going to love Juan Pierre.
One way he's going to make a difference is by turning those close ballgames into routs for the opposition. Because Juan Pierre made a lot of outs last season. He OBPed .326, and that's bad. It's not Jose Reyes-bad, but it's close. And the Cubs, by plugging new acquisitions Pierre and Jacque Jones (2005 OBP .319) into the lineup every day, are likely costing themselves a lot of runs over the long haul, no matter what absoutely incorrect things Joe Morgan is saying about them on April 9th.
