FIRE JOE MORGAN

I'm pretty happy that a Google search for

kenny rogers dirt pine tar

spits back FJM as the second result.

Anyway, does anyone believe Rogers' explanation for that brown, shit-like shit on his hand?

"It was a big clump of dirt," Rogers said after the game. "I didn't know it was there. They told me about [sic], but it was no big deal."

First off, it didn't look like dirt. I wish I had a screencap on hand.

** EDIT **

Within seconds, I was sent a couple of different shots. Here's one:



Actually, it's pretty hard to tell what it is. Whatever it is, it's poopy-looking.

** END EDIT **

Second, you didn't know it was there? You didn't realize the hand you use to pitch the baseball was covered in dirt? Listen, Kenny, I wasn't born on a strawberry farm like you were.

When asked how he could have a big clump of dirt on his hand, Rogers replied, "It was dirt and rosin put together. That's what happens when you rub it up. … I just went and wiped if off. I didn't think it was an issue. After the first inning, it was fine. I felt I was pretty comfortable after that."

Tomorrow, I'm buying a big bag of rosin and a big bag of dirt, mixing them up together, rubbing the resulting mixture on my left hand, putting on a full Tigers uniform and photographing my left hand as I simulate a changeup. Then we'll see if that's what happens when you rub it up!

How much do you think a bag of dirt costs?

After the substance was noticed, ESPN reviewed tapes of Rogers' pitching performances earlier in the postseason. The tapes revealed that, in starts against both the Yankees and Athletics, a similar-looking brown substance was spotted on Rogers' hand.

You're kidding. Do you think maybe you could show us those pictures, ESPN? No, you're good? Okay, cool. You just go on ahead there and keeping worldwidely leading sports worldwide.

** SECOND EDIT **

And they've added pictures! Congratulations. Karl Ravech is still sticking with MLB's story that it was dirt on SportsCenter right now.

Labels: kenny rogers, pine tar

Thanks, Junior, for bringing Dibs into the fold. It's about time. Here are some more gems:

Check out these two sentences:

Oh by the way, I couldn't care less if a guy cheated, that was his deal, when I was on you weren't hitting my stuff anyway. I know a lot of pitchers and hitters are cheating right now, but they are still lousy, so just let it go, if it was legal 100 years ago, why can't it be legal now?

What point(s) is/are you making? And as for the final two run-on clauses, nice job. That's an excellent rationale for slavery.

Ty Cobb used to sharpen his spikes, as much to spear his opponents as to get in their heads, and he's in the Hall of Fame.

...?...

Regarding Kenny Rogers:

Movie stars and rock stars and athletes are public figures, but when should we respect their privacy?

How about: when they are in their houses? Kenny was on the baseball field, which seems to be the kind of place where a baseball reporter or baseball cameraman is within his rights to be covering him.

Society is at the point right now where someone is going to get hurt.

Like that cameraman did?

We all want to know, who is Brad dating?

Angelina.

Who is Jennifer dating?

Don't know. Vince Vaughn?

Are we all so bored in our daily lives, that we need to have people hiding around every bend just to get a shot of our favorite movie star or athlete? Should they have the same rights as any private citizen?

They do. They are also movie stars and rock stars and athletes, which means that from time to time, people are going to photograph them.

Now in the case of Kenny Rogers, he is in a battle with his team for a contract extension. It's become ugly and has spilled over into the press. Should private matters such as this be made public? I ask you, would you want your private matters made public? I think not.

If I were a 40 year-old pitcher with a legendarily up-and-down career, and I was demanding $25 million over two years in the middle of a season, I don't think I'd have an argument that that should be kept a secret. This was not about his battle with mental illness, or his daughter's divorce, or something. It was about a contract that he demanded.

My problem with Kenny is that the people on the baseball field and in the locker room can have all the access they want.

That's your problem with Kenny?

They have a job to do, and as long as they keep it about baseball, you have to let them do their job.

Right. Which is why it's insane to attack a cameraman who is on the baseball field, where you are, when you are a baseball player.

Now, if they come to your house and want to take your picture when it doesn't have to do with baseball, or in the case with actors, I think there should be open season on those people.

Fair enough. But they won't, because I am not a professional baseball player. Also, the professional baseball player in question was on a baseball field, where it is pretty kosher for a baseball cameraman to shoot pictures of a baseball player.

This is such a stupid point. It's like saying, "Kenny Rogers was wrong, but put yourself in his position. Now take yourself out of his position, and imagine a totally different situation, in which his rights were being violated. NOW do you see his side of the story?"

I think too much freedom of the press is NOT a good thing.

Interesting. How do you feel about the totalitarian dictatorships under which such conditions flourish?

After all, shouldn't all citizens in this country have the right to privacy?

Absolutely. And professional baseball players who are wandering around on professional baseball fields before playing in professional baseball games should expect to be passively photographed by credentialed members of the baseball media.

And just for fun, here's a quote from an old column...

Watching the rash of injuries to pitchers, and they are becoming injuries to younger and younger pitchers, I'm starting to question the methods MLB teams are preparing these pitchers for their craft...When I was coming up through high school and the minor leagues, I built my arm strength through almost totally long-tossing and pitching in games. Now pitchers, and this is even happening at the high school and college levels, are supplementing good, old-fashioned hard work on a baseball field for getting arm strength through private trainers, gyms and even Yoga and Pilates. I think it's time to see how the old timers did it, so pitchers can complete games again, have fewer arm problems and have careers that span two decades instead of two seasons.

And here is a description of Dibble's career, from Baseballlibrary.com:

"One of the hardest-throwing pitchers in baseball, Dibble racked up phenomal strikeout totals and intimidated opposing batters with his explosive fastball, although his career was almost certainly cut short by the tremendous strain he placed on his arm...

"Dibble came into his own in the first half of 1989 as a set-up man for John Franco, although he injured his shoulder in a fight after hitting the Mets' Tim Teufel with a pitch...

"Dibble racked up 56 saves over the next two years, but soon fell victim to frequent arm problems. He lost his command of the strike zone during an injury-plagued 1993 (42 walks and eight home runs allowed in 41 2/3 innings) and saw his ERA more than double to 6.48. After missing all of 1994 following surgery on his rotator cuff, he struggled to regain his velocity and pitched poorly in brief stints with the White Sox and Brewers in 1995."

Length of Dibble's career: 7 years, and that's being generous, since he missed all of 1994 with, um, arm injuries.

What an unbelievable moron.

Labels: kenny rogers, rob dibble