FJM is a closed forum, but we welcome reader feedback. We're especially interested in corrections of our work, and research (usually number-crunching) that we may not be able to do ourselves. Please check the comments section as well, where we often post readers' opinions, and, less frequently, announce that we were wrong about something.
You can e-mail dak,Ken Tremendous,Junior,Matthew Murbles, or Coach individually.
HatGuy, Red Sox, Heyman, A-Rod, And Super Special Surprise Guest!
It's all happening at once, people. Let's savor this, the day after the final day of baseball, before we all begin obsessively following Memphis Grizzlies basketball and Columbus Blue Jackets hockey and Columphis Blue Grizzlies Lazyjokemashupball.
The Red Sox had generations of teams that were characterized by 25 players taking 25 cabs. No wonder they spent 86 years between championships. Now, they’ve won twice in four seasons by becoming a band of brothers who seem to genuinely enjoy each other’s company. They have stars, but you think of them as a true team.
Of course! Fuck! Why'd they wait 86 years? Friends are what win in baseball! Friendshipball! Watch out, Red Sox. Your 2008 favorites for the championship: my uncle Steve and his friend Mike. So what if they're only two guys instead of twenty-five and Mike has a shriveled left arm and Steve drinks crystal meth dissolved in Mountain Dew Game Fuel, the Halo 3-themed Mountain Dew. They go deep-sea fishing on the weekends! They're friends!
Now let's readjust our monocles and look at the bread around this idiocy sandwich:
That’s why he won’t end up in Boston. The Red Sox had generations of teams that were characterized by 25 players taking 25 cabs. No wonder they spent 86 years between championships. Now, they’ve won twice in four seasons by becoming a band of brothers who seem to genuinely enjoy each other’s company. They have stars, but you think of them as a true team. To add a person who has never had many friends in the clubhouses he’s inhabited doesn’t make sense.
Zero guesses as to whom HatGuy is referencing. Negative three guesses. Yep, you got it, and I took guesses away from you before you made any. There you have it. Not enough friends = no deal. I like the image of A-Rod calling up his old teammates, begging them to tell the Red Sox that yes indeed, I, Hank Blalock/Jay Buhner/Bobby Ayala/Hideki Irabu, was A-Rod's friend you better believe it.
I am undecided whether A-Rod will be worth the hundreds of millions of dollars he will be seeking, but the number of friends he has on Facebook will be low on my priority list.
Now you, Jon Heyman, sally forth with your offering!
The Red Sox disproved the old "crapshoot'' theory espoused by a lot of folks who keep losing in the playoffs. The best team won in 2007, and that is no fluke.
Look, I'm not losing in the playoffs. My favorite team isn't losing in the playoffs. Joe Torre has won a lot in the playoffs. Joe Torre often disagree, but he and I agree on two things: Top Chef is now more enjoyable than Project Runway and as long as the series remain as brief as they are, the playoffs are distinctly, perversely crapshootish. The best team probably won in 2007, but how about just last year? 83-78 sound right to you, Jon? Was that a fluke?
And finally, we grow closer to the emergence of our special guest star for the evening, who appears courtesy of Bob DiCesare:
Rodriguez appeared in the American League Championship Series twice with the Mariners, once with the Yanks, and distinguished himself in none of the three.
Exactly right. None of the three except for the first two, in which he slugged .773 and .516 and slammed a combined 4 HR and 10 RBI. And hey, in that last one he OBP-ed .353 and hit a horrible, team-damaging solo home run.
One number echoes within the mountains of glorious statistics compiled by Rodriguez throughout his career:
13.7, his earth-shattering WARP3!
zero, his number of accrued World Series at-bats.
Oh.
Fact is, the Yankees are in far greater need of a Scott Brosius, a Bernie Williams, a Paul O’Neill than an uninspired (and uninspiring) A-Rod.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Brosius nostalgia tour continues. May his glorious name live on throughout the offseason and for all offseasons throughout eternity!
Torre > Brosius? It cannot be. I will not hear such blasphemy, Sir Buster.
Look, Joe Torre seems like a good enough guy. Grandfatherly mien, reassuring eyes, a calm, arms-folded presence in the dugout. No obvious assholish tendencies. Sure, we're all emotional about his departure. I ask you, though, Buster Olney, when you wake up one year from now, will you still really believe this paragraph? How about five years? Fifty?
I always will believe that during the 1996-2001 dynasty, Mariano Rivera was the only uniformed member of the organization more important to the Yankees' success than Torre. They could not have won so much without him, and it remains to be seen if any Yankee manager can ever be as successful or as adept as Joe Torre.
Oh. "Always." You will always believe that no player besides Mariano Rivera was more valuable than Joe Torre. Seriously, when Derek Jeter retires, are you really going to write that, hey, Jetes was a pretty sweet shortstop, but he was no Joe Torre when it comes to winning baseball games? If you had a crazy combo draft of players and managers in 2001, are you really taking Torre over Derek Fucking Fitzgerald Jeter, God of Baseball and Winner of Life?
I'm sorry. This is a heartfelt piece by Buster. He's emotional. There's stuff in there about fatherly pats on the cheek (his words, not mine) and cancer and Scott Brosius' dying dad that I'm not even going to touch. Buster, I understand that you know the man and that you empathize with him. You spent time with him. You know more about Joe Torre the person than everyone reading this blog except for Don Mattingly (hi, Don!). But you can honor Joey T-Bones without resorting to this kind of run of the mill, knee-jerk, Baseball Tonight Bold Prediction-type sports-writing/-commentary hyperbole.
And let's take a step back. Again, we're all sad. Torre is leaving. Stand-up guy. Might be a bad decision for the club. But we're talking about a situation where you're feeling misty-eyed for a guy who's turning down a five million dollar base salary because it is a fucking insult to him. Five million dollars. And he's not hitting 97-mph Josh Beckett fastballs or spearing Curtis Granderson laser beams. He's not doing something that only a select few hundred human beings have the physical and mental capacity to do. He's choosing what order to write down names in a lineup (sometimes poorly). He's deciding when to put a relief pitcher in a game (often incorrectly).
Managing is easier than playing.
Which brings us to value, or as Buster frames it, "importance." Mariano Rivera: extremely important. Thanks for the concession, Buster. And now, a smattering of stats from some of the players who helped the Yankees win four championships in five years. I'm not saying that Joe Torre didn't contribute. I bet he did. Some. But these guys effing played the games.
Tino Martinez, 1996-2001: 175 HR Derek Jeter, 1996-2001: 1187 hits Bernie Williams, 1996-2001: 6 consecutive years of OPS+s over 131 Andy Pettitte, 1996-2001: 1274 2/3 IP, ranging from good to outstanding Paul O'Neill, 1996-2001: 604 RBI
And these are just some of the really good guys. The list, honestly, is endless. Forget these guys. Forget even the regulars: the Brosiuses, the Knoblauchs, the Stantons. How about Chili Davis' 476 okay at bats at DH? At least he got hits and scored runs. Hideki Irabu sucked, but at least he got some outs.
The much belabored point is this: Joe Torre managed supertalented teams for a super long time in a super overexposed media market. For that he is a saint in the eyes of many. But he is a human man, a man who was an okay to pretty good baseball manager doing a job that probably a fair number of other people might have been fine doing as well. Baseball managers do not play the game. They do not have as much influence on the outcome of the game as say, football coaches or Ramiro Mendozas. Search your pinstripe-tattooed soul. You know this to be true.
Now excuse me while I finish crying about Joe's departure. I started several days ago and am not ready to stop just yet.
Wallace Matthews is my new hero. I haven't been this excited about a journalist since Junior discovered Bruce Jenkins.
In this edition of "Indefensible Positions," Matthews posits that ARod's salary might be better spent on middle relievers. Because...
$25M could buy lots of arms
A-Rod: Stats but no rings
In 1996, the Yankees got four home runs, 54 RBIs and a .308 batting average out of Charlie Boggs, the two-headed monster that held down third base that year.
In 1998, the third baseman's name was Scott Brosius and the numbers were 19, 98 and .300. In 1999, Brosius again: 17, 71, .247. In 2000: 16, 64, .230.
How dare you assail Scott Brosius. That man is a saint!
The Yankees won the World Series in every one of those years and in fact, won 14 World Series games in a row, stretching from Game 3 against the Braves in 1996 through Game 2 against the Mets in 2000.
Do you guys see where this is going? Are you as excited as I am?!
During the previous three seasons, the Yankees' third baseman has averaged 40 home runs and 119 RBIs and batted just about .300. Two seasons back, he won the AL MVP, and this season he has a great chance to put up the best numbers of a career that already is a first-ballot ticket to Cooperstown.
And with him, the Yankees have won precisely nothing.
Cue the band! Release the balloons! Strip down to your underwear, slap some warpaint on your faces, bang your drums and go wilding in the streets -- because Wallace Matthews is arguing that having an all-world 3rd baseman who hits a lot of HR and generally kicks ass is worse for your team than having a terrible third baseman who does none of these things.
It will be worth remembering this at the end of the year when general manager Brian Cashman is faced with the agonizing choice of burning more cash on Alex Rodriguez or bidding him a fond farewell.
No it won't. Because Cashman, unlike you, is not an idiot. Cashman will want to keep the 31 year-old surefire first-ballot Hall of Famer who is going to hit 70 HR this year despite the fact that he -- ARod -- is a weirdo and everyone hates him and there is an organized media movement -- of which you, Wallace Matthews, are a key player -- to drive him out of New York by arguing that Scott Brosius was better for the Yankees than he is.
There is nothing agonizing about deciding whether to keep Alex Rodriguez. If he isn't sick of NY, and wants to stay, you keep him. Because he's awesome. And because -- and this is the first of several times I will point this out, the Texas Rangers are paying you $7 million a year to help you keep him, because Tom Hicks is a bigger idiot than you, Wallace Matthews.
I am going to repeat that.
The Yankees, who have a $200m payroll, are being paid $7 million a year to help them retain Alex Rodriguez's services. And you still think this is a difficult decision?
To lose A-Rod would do me no good at all - who on Earth would I write about when the Yankees are slogging through some meaningless August tilt with the Devil Rays - but it might be the best thing the Yankees can do to right a ship that be sinkin', slowly, for the past seven years.
Honesty in journalism, here, folks. Who indeed would hacks like Matthews write about, were ARod gone? Who could allow them to drag out their tired old columns about the glory days of Scott Brosius? God forbid Matthews would have to work hard and form new opinions about things. That simply won't do. He needs ARod around, yelling things at rookies on the Blue Jays and saying slightly-off things in interviews about therapy so Matthews can put down his giant tumbler of Old Grandad, head to his file cabinet, blow dust off the A-D drawer, dig through his Brosius file, pull out a winner from 1998 that reads, "Yanks' 3rd Baseman About More than Stats," and do an old-fashioned cut-and-paste job. Then: more whiskey!
You can argue successfully that without Rodriguez, the Yankees would be even worse off than they are right now.
Correct.
You also can point out that without the burden of his salary, they can start shopping to fill the real needs of this team.
Incorrect. They have no limit to their salary. None. They said last year that they had a limit, and then they traded a pile of old hoodies for Bobby Abreu, who cost $13 million last year and $15m this year. Actually, let's just go ahead and list the most expensive Yankees this year:
Jason Giambi: $21m Derek Jeter: $20m Roger Clemens: $18.5m (ish) Alex Rodriguez: $17m (ish) Andy Pettitte: $16m Bobby Abreu: $15m Johnny Damon: $13m Hideki Matsui: $13m Jorge Posada: $12m Mike Mussina: $11m Mariano: $10.5m Carl Pavano: $10m
Are you seriously telling me that of these guys, ARod is the one not earning his pay? That his money is less well-spent than that spent on Giambi? Pavano? Matsui? Abreu? Mussina?
The question of whether he will opt out of his contract isn't even worth discussing. Originally, [the opt-out clause] was included to provide Rangers owner Tom Hicks with an ejector seat to escape from what remains the richest contract in the history of sports. Now it serves as a way for A-Rod and his agent, Scott Boras, to further cash in on what so far has been a phenomenal season...
To think Rodriguez and Boras won't invoke it at the end of this season, no matter what its outcome, is to believe that Donald Trump will wake up tomorrow and say to the latest Mrs. Trump, "Honey, I'm loving you so much, I'm gonna forget all about that pre-nup."
Ain't gonna happen.
Yikes. Leave the comedy to the professionals, Wallace. Stick to Brosiusian Hagiography.
...When the time comes to say deal or no deal, the Yankees would be wise to remember the lessons of 1996 and 1998 and 1999 and 2000. Those championships weren't won by slugging third basemen, or designated hitters built like Schwarzenegger, or prima donna starting pitchers who show up when the season is half over.
Here it comes...the moneyshot...
Those teams were built on small ball - incredibly, Bernie Williams' 30 homers in 2000 represents the peak of Yankees power for that era - on timely hitting, on role players who worked together like the cast of "The Sopranos," and on pitching.
Mostly, on relief pitching.
Okay. Everybody take a deep breath. We're going to get through this together.
First: Tino Martinez had 44 HR in 1997. Second: The 1998 Yankees had all nine starters and one reserve (Shane Spencer) in double-digits in HR. They hit 207 HR that year, which was fourth in the league. In 2000 they were 6th in the league. They were not a huge power team, but they hit their share of HR. Third: 2, 1, 1, 2, 5. Those are the AL ranks of the Yankees' teams in OBP, 1996 to 2000. That's what those teams were always based on, offensively. They walked a lot and grinded out at-bats and wore people down. Fourth: 1, 2, 4, 3, 4. Those were their yearly league ranks in K's by their pitchers. Their starters were very good, 1-5, all of those years, in striking out people and not walking people. Their relievers were good, except Mariano, who was impenetrably brilliant.
The Yankees did not win those championships with "smallball" or "smartball" or "intelli-ball" or "think-ball" or "genius-ball' or "Torre-ball" or "How'd-they-do-that?-ball." They won with great starting pitchers (Cone, Clemens, Pettitte, Wells, Key, Hernandez), a 9-man line-up that grinded out long at-bats and walked a lot and hit for good power, and the greatest closer in the history of baseball.
And these days, more than ever, that is where Yankees games are won and lost. In fact, throughout baseball, that is where most games are won and lost, with starters going six innings and managers jumping for the bullpen phone when the pitch clicker nears 100. For all the brilliance of Mariano Rivera, it is the grunts, the middle relievers, the Sean Henns and Brian Bruneys and Scott Proctors and Kyle Farnsworths, who have become the most important pitchers on the Yankees' staff. Too often this year, they have been much too important and not nearly good enough.
Yes, the problem with the 2007 Yankees so far was been Brian Bruney and his 28 IP with 25 K's, and Scott Proctor's 32.2 IP with a 1.30 WHIP. Not Kei Igawa's 30.2 IP with a 1.60 WHIP, or Carl Pavano disappearing, or Mike Mussina's 5.63 ERA, or having to rush Tyler Clippard up to start games, or having Darrell Rasner and Matt DeSalvo start 11 games, or Hughes' hamstring. I think it's Bruney.
The Yankees' relievers stink. But their starters haven't even been able to start. Except Pettitte and Wang, it's been Russian Roulette out there. (And by the way, I'd like to see Pettitte duplicate his first half while still striking out fewer than 5/9IP. Watching him revert to the mean is going to be very enjoyable for me.)
Anyway, the point is, I think the Yankees should let ARod walk and spend the money on middle relievers. What do you think, Wallace?
Saying goodbye to Rodriguez would be a gutsy and risky move, because he is one of the few players about whom it can be said there truly is no other. But they have done without his likes before and they can do it again.
And surely for every Rodriguez, there are dozens of Mike Stantons and Jeff Nelsons and David Weatherses out there. What the Yankees need to do now is take the money they will save on A-Rod and go find them.
Oh good. You agree with my crazy joke stance.
Read that last paragraph again. Then consider that at the bottom of this article, Newsday saw fit to print this:
Bank-breaking numbers
If A-Rod keeps up his current pace, these are his projected numbers for 162 games:
Hits 186 Runs 149 HRs 64 RBIs 167
as if to chastise Matthews themselves. Consider for a second, again, that the Yankees are being subsidized by Tom Hicks to the tune of $7m a year so that ARod can put up those numbers in the Stadium. Consider that Wallace Matthews thinks they should use the money on 6th inning set-up guys and 37 year-olds with WHIPs in the 1.50 range. Consider also that the Yankees do not need to free up any money to sign anyone, much less a reliever or two who cost like $2m a year. Consider that Alex Rodriguez's EqA is .354. Consider all of that, and then read this article again, and try to figure out why this article ever got written. And then consider why a mild-mannered claims adjuster for a mid-level insurance company would spend his entire morning dissecting it for a meta-critical blog that only he and a few of his stupid friends really care about.
The e-mails were numerous and enjoyable; thanks to everyone who wrote in. (Those confused by this giant waste of time should check out the earlier Brosius post.)
Again, we're looking to solve the equation: "Saying Scott Brosius should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame is like saying X should be in the Y Hall of Fame." Here are some of the notables, minus an unprintable Cory Lidle joke (you can probably fill in the blanks).
A gent by the name of Aaron Lewis -- who I assume is not the dude from Staind -- gave us perhaps the most esoteric of all entries:
...is like saying baseball-reference.com should be in the aesthetically-pleasing-and-functionally-navigable-website Hall of Fame.
So true, although the kettle/black implications make me a little uneasy.
A few readers decided not to replace X at all, opting for: Saying Scott Brosius should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame is like saying Scott Brosius should be in the Basketball Hall of Fame.
Or, perhaps even better, from Steven R.:
Saying Scott Brosius should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame is like saying Scott Brosius should be in the Negro League Hall of Fame.
Iain G. went with a less hyperbolic approach: Saying Scott Brosius should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame is like saying John Paxson should be in the Basketball Hall of Fame.
In a way, the accuracy of this statement illustrates better than any of the others just how ridiculous that Chris dude's article was. (Likewise, Matt B. opted for a Rick Fox analogy. I could see that.)
There were many Eckstein entries, several of which suggested his hypothetical induction into the Body Building Hall of Fame. Among the other Ecktries:
...David Eckstein should be in the Pigmentation Hall of Fame.
(From Billy W., who I sometimes like to call B-Dubs, or, even less frequently, Chauncy BillDubs.)
and this mind-bender from Ricardo A.: Kevin Garnett in the David Eckstein Hall of Fame.
Ricardo also supplied us with the most FJMish, and yes, my favorite entry: ...Mark Wohlberg in the Catch Me If You Can Hall Of Fame.
Congratulations! All winners and losers will receive four million dollars in the mail. Cash!
A couple of dudes actually sent something like that in. I disqualified it for misuse of "Y."
Scott H. also just wrote in with a tardy entry: "So is it too late to submit, 'Saying Scott Brosius should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame is like saying Ken Tremendous should be in the Heterosexuality Hall of Fame?'"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that, in fact, you are already in the Heterosexuality Hall of Fame.
Ray was a Yankees fan, and a solid dude. Took care of himself. Worked out. Looked you in the eye when he talked to you, that kind of thing. I liked Ray. Sometimes we would talk about baseball. Then, when Scott Brosius retired, he told me that one day -- mark his words -- Scott Brosius would be elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame.
That's when Ray and I basically stopped talking.
Ray, if you're out there, I'd like you to meet Chris Girandola of MLB.com. Chris, Ray. Ray, Chris.
Chris would like to make a HoF case for Mr. Brosius. And because of this, my right arm is trying to stop my left arm from typing a series of sentences following the form of: "Saying Scott Brosius should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame is like saying X should be in the Y Hall of Fame." (Send your entries to dak@firejoemorgan.com.)
For Yankees fans looking back during these Alex Rodriguez days, Scott Brosius might be considered as the antithesis of A-Rod.
Well, more or less. Compared to other major league players, Brosius was not that great at hitting the baseball. Alex Rodriguez is very very good at hitting the baseball. He likes to hit it far.
A-Rod has had his troubles at third base, defensively, but at other times in his career, he has been well above the defensive average by most accounts. Brosius was known as an excellent defensive third baseman. I have to speculate, however, that this reputation was built a little too heavily on his famous "barehanded roller" plays, at which he was said to be the best ever. You know, that play that comes up maybe once a month for every baseball team, where a dude has to barehand a ball with his hand. Torre and McCarver would have you believe that Brosius is basically the only 3B in the history of baseball who was able to make that play.
Of course, what the author is undoubtedly referring to in this whole "A-Rod antithesis" thing is their differences in performance in high-pressure situations. Critical junctures. What's that word? Ah, yes.
"Clurtch."
For the amound [sic] of pressure that goes along with playing in New York, Brosius had a knack for timely hits, including his game-tying two-run homer with two outs in the bottom of the ninth in Game 5 of the 2001 World Series.
In addition to the above described tater, his most Leyritzian of accomplishments, Brosius also single-handedly won game 3 of the 1998 WS by hitting two bombs against the San Diego Dads. In Game 3, he had a key RBI double that proved to be the game winner. That series was a lopsided sweep; in 2001, of course, the Yanks went on to lose to the D-Backs.
You might remember the bottom of the ninth inning of Game 7 in 2001. Jay Bell laid down a shitty bunt, picked up by Mo Rivera, who quickly tossed to get the force out at third. Replays showed that Brosius had plenty of time to get Bell at first on a double play, but instead, he held the ball. Jay Bell would go on to score the winning World Series run. In other words, the last time Scott Brosius was involved in a professional baseball play, he basically choked on the biggest stage possible. He also didn't fare too well in game 2 of that World Series: see "GOAT."
As far as the postseason in general, well, you be the judge: 196 AB: .245 / .278 / .418 It is his clutch hitting in the postseason, as well as his solid and, often times, spectacular defensive play, which may give members of the Baseball Writers' Association of America enough impetus to consider him for Hall of Fame induction in 2007.
It is his career .323 OBP, 95 OPS+, as well as his career total of 1,001 hits, which will cause such low voting totals that he will / should be left off all future ballots.
STATFLASH!
Scott Brosius finished in the top 10 in his league 3 times in his career: twice in Sacrifice Flies, and once in HBP!
When Brosius -- who is now coaching at his alma mater, Lindale College, in his home state of Oregon -- reflects on the championship years, he is more humbled than anything else, which speaks volumes about what type of character he brought to the table.
"There was no one guy who carried the load," said Brosius. "There were 25 important players on the team. Still, when I look back on it, I'm awed by the fact I was a part of that team. It was an amazing team and an amazing group of guys to be a part of. I'm glad that I was able to contribute and help them achieve as much as we did."
Listen, dudes. You do not get bonus points for giving credit to your teammates when, in fact, you were one of the lesser players on that team.
Remember, when it comes to HoF voting, the character issue is relevant. The rules for election clearly state: "Voting shall be based upon the player's record, playing ability, integrity, sportsmanship, character, contributions to the team(s) on which the player played, and the player's ability to field slow-rolling ground balls with one's bare hand and then quickly throw to first base while still running." So we are supposed to look at a player's character -- and Chris wants us to believe that Brosius shows great character and humility by pointing out that the 1996-2001 Yankees were not just a One Brosius Wrecking Crew?
Again, just to review: this dude on MLB.com is saying that Scott Brosius should be in the Hall of Fame, in part because he acknowledges that there were 25 players -- not just him -- on the Yankees. For those of you who may not be familiar with baseball, this is more or less the equivalent of claiming that Anthony Anderson is one of the greatest actors of all time because he once said that "The Departed" featured a "wonderful ensemble cast." Considering that since his retirement, the Yankees have reached the World Series only once, losing in six games to the Florida Marlins in 2003, it would seem logical that a strong case could be made for Brosius to fill one of the seats in the Hall of Fame.
There you go. Because the Yanks have only been to the World Series once since 2001, Scott Brosius should be in the Hall of Fame.
Thank you to several readers who had an issue with the following:
When Brosius -- who is now coaching at his alma mater, Lindale College, in his home state of Oregon ...
Scott Brosius coaches at Linfield College, which is in Oregon. Lindale College appears to be a community college in Georgia or, perhaps, no college at all. A Google search for "lindale college" yields 185 results which are mostly nonsense. A search for "linfield college" produces 486,000 results.
The point is, this guy who thinks Brosius is Hall of Fame-bound doesn't know where Brosius went to college.
Jay Mohr, that is. Thanks to reader Sal for the link to this article.
You know exactly what you're in for when you start reading an article written by Jay Mohr and its title is:
True calling Some guys are meant to be Yankees and some are not
Hmm. Things I'm not looking for in this article: rigorous analysis, new insights, or facts. I'm not even expecting a single interesting opinion, actually.
When the Yankees failed to re-sign Andy Pettitte, my stomach got a little queasy and I sensed a changing of the guard. Pettitte, to put it simply, was a Yankee.
>> Buddy Groom, to put it simply, was a Yankee. Hideki Irabu, to put it simply, was a Yankee. Aaron Small, to put it simply, is a Yankee.
You don't trade, waive or fail to re-sign guys who were born to be in pinstripes.
>> Jay Mohr, of course, being the ultimate arbiter of who is and isn't born to be in pinstripes.
Wade Boggs won his only World Series ring with the Yankees, but he will never be half the Yankee Scott Brosius was.
>> Obligatory Brosius mention.
Some men are just not cut out to play in the Bronx. Many thought Tino Martinez was on the express train to this list after his first two months trying to replace Don Mattingly in 1996. Now, after stops in St. Louis and Tampa Bay, a true Yankee has come home.
>> That true Yankee has come home to the tune of, quite frankly, an embarrassing .222 batting average and an OBP of .310. Is that frank enough for you?
True Yankees are born, not made, and for some, such as Paul O'Neill, they just happened to have had a long layover in another city before realizing their true calling.
>> Obligatory Paul O'Neill mention. And Mohr still hasn't named one thing that makes a guy a true Yankee. Not one.
I doubt if anyone in Chicago is wondering if Joe Girardi was a true Cubbie. Yankee fans won't have to think twice while reading this because a synapse has already fired off in their brains reading out "Yankee."
>> Obligatory Joe Girardi mention. Still no criteria for true Yankee status.
Here is a list of players who are not Yankees compared to guys who were born to be Yankees:
2B Tony Womack -- should have been -- 2B David Eckstein 3B Alex Rodriguez -- should have been -- 3B Eric Hinske SP Randy Johnson -- should have been -- SP Pedro Martinez
>> Amazing, amazing list. Eric Hinske? Eric Hinske??
Eric Hinske 2005 WARP2: 1.7 Alex Rodriguez 2005 WARP2: 6.7
The Yankees would lose five games in the win column with the old A-Rod-Hinske straight-up trade. Probably worth it for the intangibles, though.
There are other guys floating around the bigs who don't realize yet that they have the potential to be "True Yankees." Let this article serve as a memo to John Lackey, Coco Crisp, Chris Capuano, Jason Bay, Ryan Drese, David DeJesus and Dontrelle Willis. Your invitations are waiting, we have the money and you can thank me when you are all trying on your rings.
>> That is the most random, crazy list of players I've ever seen.
Still no criteria for what makes a true Yankee.
Oh. The article is over.
I would say that Jay Mohr should stick to comedy, but no one wants that either.
Of all of the things that bother me here, the #1 is that Pedro Martinez "should have been a Yankee." Oh my God. Even though Jay did not list a single criterion for being a true Yankee, I can tell you that Pedro Martinez does not possess any of them. Or, perhaps better put: he possess all of the things that prohibit him from being one. Or, to rephrase: Pedro Martinez is all about fighting the Yankees, not joining them. Or, to put it another way, what the hell is Jay Mohr talking about?
To be fair, I bet this will be really funny when Jay goes on "Cold Pizza" and reads it out loud as Christopher Walken.
In your great haste to make fun of the esteemed former "Lip Service" host, you guys miss the underlying point that Jay Mohr manages to capture perfectly. True Yankee fans are the sort of petulant, fair-weathered, wake-me-when-they're-winning fans who will only register players as "true Yankees" if they played on at least two of their recent four championship teams. That's the criterion you were searching for. Notice he didn't include Mel Hall or Jimmy Key or even Tanyon Sturtze, who seems to embody every gritty, scrappy, scritty, maximize-your-low-talent-ceiling trait as Brosius, O'Neill, et al. Did Oscar Azocar give less than his best to this team, such that he will always be associated with the Padres? Soriano? Kevin Maas??? This column provides a pretty standard look into the mind of a NYY fan in my book. Bad as sports journalism, pretty unsurprising as a sociological comment.
And this part: I doubt if anyone in Chicago is wondering if Joe Girardi was a true Cubbie. Yankee fans won't have to think twice while reading this because a synapse has already fired off in their brains reading out "Yankee." is the most meaningless thing I have ever read. When a TRUE St. Louis Blues fan hears the words "Wayne Gretzky," their true-fan synapses should all be firing "St. Louis Blues." That's what being a true fan is all about.
Excellent points, Coach. It is worth noting that although many Yankee fans love Don Mattingly, they rarely mention him when they are talking about "true Yankees." They would hastily agree with you if you brought him up, but they would not mention him in their initial list, which usually goes: Jeter, Rivera, Tino, O'Neill, Brosius, Bernie, Posada, Girardi. (Bernie used to be higher, but being a true Yankee somehow diminishes with poor offensive seasons, I guess.) Also, it is worth noting that no one -- NO ONE -- ever mentions John Wetteland, who won them the 1996 title. Why does no one mention him? Because no one remembers he was even on that team. Because many of them started being fans in 1997.
