FIRE JOE MORGAN

Neal points us to this article, wherein Wojo revisits his pre-season NFL predictions and determines their accuracy.

Here's one:

If one NFC team is going to shock the world, it's going to be ... the New York Giants. Workable schedule. Desperate team. Quarterback with something to prove. Better-than-you-think replacements for Tiki Barber (remember what Tiki says in those Caddy ads about opportunity?). Understanding, patient fan base. It all adds up to a possible mini-miracle.

Pretty cool, right? Nice work, Wojo! Heres another one:

NFC East finish: 1. Philly, 2. Dallas, 3. Redskins, 4. Giants.

What is the point -- I say, what is the point -- of making two equal and opposite predictions. You have no chance of getting credit for either of them. At least be the person who gets to write, "What a bonehead I am!" recaps. This way, you just look like a hedger.

(Pitchers and catchers soon, people. Then we can stop writing about football, and start getting real.)

Labels: football, gene wojciechowski, predictions

The 2007 FJM Food Metaphor of the Year Award is a lock. Take it away, Wojo:

The Mitchell investigation was doomed from the beginning. The report itself is 409 pages of cotton candy -- wisps of truth teased into a Don King hairdo full of air, hearsay and perhaps wishful thinking. Blow softly on it and it bends and rips apart.

"A Don King hairdo full of air." My God it's...it's so beautiful.

Of course there are still three weeks or so left, and you know that December is when the media outlets release all of their award-hopeful food metaphors. But my vote is in.

Labels: awards, food metaphors, gene wojciechowski

And I read a lot of italics.

Gene Wojowhathaveyou on the complete surprise that rich teams can win:

The Nation keeps annexing territory that once belonged to the Yankees. And with each championship, the Red Sox are reversing the conventional financial wisdom of the sport. Fat payrolls -- and the Red Sox have the second-fattest in the majors at $143 million -- can work if the people operating the wallet know what they're doing.

Italics, of course, are his. The notion that large payrolls are detrimental is one of the stupidest ideas that have been floating around baseball for a while, and that's saying something. I think it all stems from the wildly overbelieved belief that rich guys simply can't get along, so if you put them all in the same clubhouse, of course it will implode in on itself.

Hey, look: it turns out if you start winning, people love each other. And there is some correlation between how good a player is and how much money he makes.

Here's some more unconventional financial wisdom: more money will buy you a better house, not a shittier one. You're welcome.

Labels: fonts, gene wojciechowski

Ladies and gentlemen, Gene Wojciechowski:

Tim Hardaway hates gay people. I hate asparagus. You hate Lindsay Lohan ring tones. This is important why?

I think the difference is that no one ever robbed asparagus, severely beat asparagus, tied asparagus to a fence post and left asparagus to die.

This is no longer about alternative lifestyles, or whatever the hell euphemism nervous people use to describe gays.

I think the word is "gay."

I'm not naïve enough to believe homosexuality in sports isn't an issue, but it no longer is the issue. Those days are gone. That's why Amaechi is no pioneer and Hardaway is barely a footnote.

That's why there are so many openly gay male athletes currently playing in the three major sports. Because it's totally cool now. Tim Hardaway, you silly anachronism!

I don't need any more heartfelt disclosures from the Amaechis of the world. Been there, read that. That's because we live in different, more enlightened times now. Perfect? No. Better? Yes.

It's not my fault Hardaway didn't get the memo.

In closing, I would just like to say that I hate it when people say "didn't get the memo." 499,000 hits on Google. Stop it.

Labels: asparagus, gay, gene wojciechowski, john amaechi, tim hardaway