Ichiro vs. Albert.
The whole thing is pretty ridiculous, but a couple of highlights from JMOTD Sean McAdam, in his defense of Ichiro as a better franchise player than Albert:
"Of course, the ultimate measuring stick of a leadoff hitter is not how frequently he reaches base – it's how frequently he rounds them."
>> Of all the things a player has little control over, scoring from the bases once he's reached there is way up there on the list. If that were the measuring stick, the team with the best 2-6 hitters would have the best leadoff hitter every time.
"It might be something of a stretch to label Ichiro a five-tool player since, in his four years with the Mariners, he's hit a total of 37 homers. Only once in those four seasons has Ichiro reached double figures in homers. But that's nitpicking."
>> Nitpicking is saying that Ichiro isn't as good a franchise player because his facial hair is kind of weird.