FIRE JOE MORGAN: Trenchant Analysis From A Big Fat Dummy


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

Main / Archives / Merch / Glossary / Goodbye

Friday, May 13, 2005


Trenchant Analysis From A Big Fat Dummy

In John Kruk's latest ESPN insider column, he states: "The Chicago White Sox have the ability to outlast the Baltimore Orioles down the stretch in terms of being the surprise team simply because of their respective divisions."

Does this mean that they will outlast the Orioles in terms of wins or in terms of their surprisingness? In other words, is he saying that they will continue to be surprising for the remainder of the season? I kind of like the idea of going to check the scores and every day saying to myself "Holy shit! The White Sox are still in first! Oh my god!"

He then proceeds to explain why the White Sox will be a contender without citing a single statistic, choosing instead to base his argument around his belief that the White Sox are very good at "getting inside the other team's head" with their aggressive play. So, let me get this straight. The White Sox are winning because they put pressure on the other teams' fielders to make perfect throws and they make pitchers too nervous to throw strikes. You sure it isn't because they have a pitching staff that is wildly overperforming? You sure it isn't Jon Garland being 7-0 with a WHIP .50 less than his career average? Do you think it has something to do with the fact that batters are hitting .197 off of Jose Frigging Contreras? Or that 388 year old Orlando Hernandez has an ERA a full run lower than his career average? Or that Dustin Hermanson, the most unremarkable pitcher in history, has 7 saves, a 0.81 WHIP, and a 0.00 ERA?

Later, Kruk comments on the difficulties Charlie Manuel has had in adjusting to the National League. He writes:

Recently Manuel went on talk radio and said he sometimes forgets the pitcher is coming up to hit when his No. 7 guy is up. That's not the type of talk that Phillies fans want to hear from their manager. In addition to that he recently forgot to double-switch closer Billy Wagner when Wagner came in to pitch the eighth inning. That resulted in Wagner's leading off the next inning! Now this is a guy (Wagner) who's coming off leg injuries and has enough fire in his belly that he's going to run hard if he hits the ball. Why would a manager put him in a situation where he could injure himself and be out of the game for a while?

Those types of statements and actions don't endear people to the Phillies fans.

Can someone parse that last sentence for me? How could Charlie Manuel's poor managerial decisions possibly affect people's opinion of Phillies fans? I assume he means Manuel is not endearing himself to Phillies fans, but that's not how that sentence reads at all.

John Kruk should have gone to Harvard like the rest of us.

posted by Murbles  # 7:07 PM
I don't understand...why didn't John Kruk go to Harvard?
What are you guys talking about? John Kruk '83 gave the Harvard oration at commencement.
It's kind of funny, in a way, that John Kruk actually went to Community College of Allegheny County.
Um, helll-llooooo? Doesn't anyone remember this:

10000 Men of Harvard,
Won victory today
And o'er old Eli
Fair Harvard holds sway
When the sun shines,
We'll win the game
Da dee doo dee,
Dum dum again
10000 Men of Harvard
Won victory, John Kruk!
Post a Comment

<< Home


04.05   05.05   06.05   07.05   08.05   09.05   10.05   11.05   12.05   01.06   02.06   03.06   04.06   05.06   06.06   07.06   08.06   09.06   10.06   11.06   12.06   01.07   02.07   03.07   04.07   05.07   06.07   07.07   08.07   09.07   10.07   11.07   12.07   01.08   02.08   03.08   04.08   05.08   06.08   07.08   08.08   09.08   10.08   11.08  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?