Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

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Monday, June 27, 2005


Diversion II

I know this is straying a bit far from the point of the blog, here, but this really made me laugh.

From ESPN report on Steinbrenner's statement of 6-27:

Team executives are due in Tampa, Fla., on Tuesday for meetings with the Boss that could be a prelude to trades aimed at improving poor pitching and disastrous defense.

"My patience is a little short by the fact that the team is not performing up to its great capabilities," Steinbrenner said in a statement issued by spokesman Howard Rubenstein. "The players have to want to win as much as I do."

Rubenstein said the Yankees owner dictated the statement to him while lifting weights.

How pathetic and desperate is Steinbrenner to seem macho and virile that he has to get it out that he was lifting weights? Rubenstein might as well have said, "Mr. Steinbrenner's remarks were made after a viagra-less sex romp with a 19 year-old female triathlete, during which, I might add, Mr. Steinbrenner performed admirably."

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posted by Unknown  # 7:50 PM
Not to mention that the statement itself is a little bit stilted - "my patience is a little bit short by the fact" --- it wants a verb
You can't expect the man to produce perfect sentence structure while he's squatting a Volkswagen.
o i get it. he's talking in code. by "the team" he means "players in the aggregate." and by "the players" he means his "individual genitals." and by "great capablities" he means "ninja-level sex."

-jimmy ballgame
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