FIRE JOE MORGAN: Ozzie Guillen


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

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Saturday, July 23, 2005


Ozzie Guillen

Technically this is not about anyone's sports commentary. But, since the whole world is ball-washing Ozzie Guillen this year, here's some Smartball:

ChiSox down 2-0 in the ninth. Guillen has Bobby Jenks, who got two K's on nine pitches yesterday, and who throws like 130 MPH with a 102 MPH 12-6 curve that literally made Kevin Millar forget how to play baseball, in the pen. Instead, he left Damaso Marte in to pitch to Varitek, who has a 1.117 OPS against lefties and an .803 OPS against righties. Varitek promptly homered to give the Sox a 3-0 lead.

The ChiSox knocked the crap out of the ball in the bottom of the inning, but didn't score. However, the first two guys singled, and if not for Varitek, the tying run would have been on first with nobody out. Ironically, Guillen probably would have had Aaron Rowand bunt to get them over, and if he'd been successful...who knows?

The point is, what exactly does "Smartball" mean, especially when applied to the pitching staff? And how is it smart? Wouldn't it have been smarter to look at a piece of paper that told you never to have Jason Varitek hit right handed, if you can avoid it?

But maybe I'm wrong. I've been reading Buzz Blunderson's shitty book all day, and have come to realize that just a numbers-cruncher who hates baseball.

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