Not sports commentary, but I'm always up for some good old fashioned Crazy Carl.Everett, a husband and father of five, is not as holy as he would like to be. He is still a moral work in progress.
''I've never been a ladies' man, but there's been fornication [in his life],'' he said. ''I had sex before I was married. But once I got married, it was on. Come November, we will have been married for 12 years.''
Has he always been faithful?
''Not in all cases,'' he said. ''She knows. I did it away from her. But I'm quite sure she still prays for me. [God] keeps me. But those demons are still going to come. That's why I say it's tough to live holy and resist temptation because those demons get prettier and prettier. Their bodies get better and better. It's one of the toughest fights I've had in my life.
Dude. Tell me about it. I was walking down Fairfax today and I saw this crazy
hot demon in a tank top and micromini. Man. Oh -- you know who else is a hot demon? Jessica Alba.
But, maybe this isn't a good thing. You know why demons' bodies are getting better and better? Have you been to Crunch lately? The one on Sunset? Nothing but demons. I think we as a society put too much emphasis on the idea of "demon beauty." Every magazine you look at, it's some anorexic denizen of the underworld on the cover, and it's very hard for the average, you know, middle-American goblin to measure up. My fiancee, for example, is a beautiful
archfiend/hellion, and even she feels constantly besieged by the windigos and succubi on the covers of "Vogue" and "Self." It's simply not fair.
We need to wake up, as a society, and ask ourselves: are our nation's demons getting too
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