FIRE JOE MORGAN: He Keeps Doing This!


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Wednesday, May 03, 2006


He Keeps Doing This!

More Yankees-Red Sox centrism from the head of the Committee to Contract Baseball Into One Division, Two Teams (CCBIODTT), Mike Celizic. He begins:

Last year, the Yankees and Red Sox opened the season against one another, and, though it was exciting in Yankee Stadium, it was too early for so much emotion.

Remember this statement for later, but for now, let's move on.

This time, the schedule makers got it just right.

This time! Not like that time when they made you and tens of other old jerks stay up past 8pm on opening day! Remember that? I get the DTs just thinking about it!

On the first day of May, with all players — resident aliens and native-born citizens alike — ready to work, the two biggest rivals in the game took the field in Fenway Park in a virtual tie for first place. I reading too much into this or did Mike Celizic just take a shot at the immigrants who went and protested on Tuesday? Or was this a tyipical MC style "joke" in which the only "humor" is a passing reference to some more or less current event? I guess I take minor offense to the phrase "ready to work," like he's implying that all those silly brown people didn't show up for work because they just wanted a day off or something. Again. Maybe reading too much into this, but still.

I know the games have been going on for nearly a month, but just as the golf season doesn’t really begin until the Masters, the baseball season doesn’t really begin until the Yankees and Red Sox get together.

Okay, now go up there and read his introductory sentence. So, if the season doesn't really begin until the Yankees and Red Sox meet, how did the schedule makers get it wrong last year by having those teams meet on opening day? Wouldn't you want the season to begin as soon as possible? Also, I would once again like to remind you that there are other teams in the league. Heck, there's even another league altogether, where a guy named Albert Pujols is doing some pretty interesting things in a strange place called "St. Louis" or something. By the way, since this is the first technical "real game" of the season, do the teams' records up to this point count? Or do we go back to 0-0? How does this work?

Yankees-Sox is now a national event, like Colts-Patriots in football, Tiger-Phil in golf, Kobe-LeBron in the NBA.

Kobe-LeBron? Really? That intense rivalry that has taken place about 6 times ever between players in different conferences who will almost certainly not meet in the finals for several years to come?

[Ortiz's home run] landed in the bullpen in right, ignited an eruption of joy in the stands and made the first statement in the first real game of the rest of the season.

It took a month of baseball to get to that moment. It was worth the wait.

Unlike last season, when the evil schedule makers stupidly made you wait zero games for the "first real game of the rest of the season."

posted by Murbles  # 6:52 PM
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