FIRE JOE MORGAN: In Basketball, "Intangible" Means "Good at Basketball"

FIRE JOE MORGAN

Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Sunday, May 07, 2006

 

In Basketball, "Intangible" Means "Good at Basketball"

Real quick:

ESPN GameNight, tonight, a little after 7:00. Freddy Coleman and some other guy, maybe Steve Czaban (though I thought he went to Fox) are saying that the thing that makes the Pistons so good is that they are maybe not the best individual players, but they work well together as a team. They have a lot of "intangibles," like not being ball hogs and stuff. So, okay. Then they say that they tried to put together a starting five from among all the players in the league, who would be the perfect "Team," the ultimate five-man Team, comprised of unselfish, smart players who would just work well together -- maybe not the best players, they keep saying, but the best TEAM. Loaded with intangibles.

Each host drew one up. Here's the first one:

G Steve Nash
G LeBron James
C Tim Duncan
F Ben Wallace
F Vince Carter

So, the Ultimate Team-with-a-Capital-T of Maybe Not the Best Guys But the Best Teammates contains: the reigning two-time league MVP, the widely-thought-of Next Jordan who finished second in the MVP voting this year, one of the best centers ever and a guy who not only seemingly always wins championships but also Finals MVPs, the like thirty-time NBA Defensive Player of the Year Award winner and rebounding champion, and a fifth guy who is awesome at basketball.

I did not hear the second starting five of Intangibly Good Teammates, but I assume it was Magic, Cousy, Shaq, Bird, and Jordan, with Dr. J, Kareem, Wilt, Teen Wolf, and Jesus Christ coming off the bench.

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posted by Ken Tremendous  # 10:31 PM
Comments:
Several people who know far more about NBA basketball than I do have written in to make further points about Vince Carter's inclusion on the All-Intangibles Team. I am going to summarize their comments Zagat-style.

Are these people "crazy?" Vince Carter is a "whiny baby," who "literally quit on his team" and forced a trade to the Nets. What's his intangible -- "being a puss?" Or is it "not playing hurt" or "not driving the lane" or "not stepping up and being a leader?" The fact that he is on this list is a "travesty of justice" that makes the "O.J. trial look like '12 Angry Men.'" The ESPN announcers "should be ashamed of themselves."
 
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