FIRE JOE MORGAN: I...Just...There are No Words

FIRE JOE MORGAN

Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Saturday, July 08, 2006

 

I...Just...There are No Words

HatGuy. Oh, HatGuy.

I don't know what to say anymore. But I have to say something, because: You wrote another article about the Yankees.

And here's another, more specific, problem. On May 13 (check the archives below) we posted about your Yankees article, in which you wrote that the Yankees should try to trade three young players for Alfonso Soriano. Here are some words you typed:

The Yankees are suddenly without two thirds of their outfield. The offense is hobbled. Something’s got to be done.

And now, two months later, you write an article titled:

Panic in Bronx? It's not time yet
Yankees still have time to catch BoSox, so no need to make rash trades


Now, maybe, to be fair, you don't title your own articles. But later, you write:

...they’re probably still the favorites to win the division. So throwing away a few more prime prospects to get more high-priced veterans doesn’t make any sense.

So, I just...I don't know what to do anymore. Read his whole article if you want -- it's rambly and weird and silly. But that's the gist.

On a total side note -- are there any Yankees fans out there who remember when Jim Kaat (or maybe Ken Singleton, though I think it was Kaat) tried for like two months to give Alfonso Soriano the cool nickname "AlSo," like a companion piece to "ARod," I think, and it sounded terrible and totally didn't catch on and everyone was just embarrassed for him?

I remember. It was awesome.

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posted by Ken Tremendous  # 3:21 AM
Comments:
Special thanks to reader Zac, who sent in this observation:

June 28, 2006, Mike Celizic writes "Sox Fans must boo Pedro heartily," and makes a choppy, hot fudge sundae/whipped cream joke:

"If anything else happens — the fans cheering wildly or the commentators congratulating them for booing boisterously or no one taking notice of the occasion at all...[I'd] be as disappointed as I’d be if I set out to construct a hot fudge sundae and discovered I was out of whipped cream."

July 7, 2006, Mike Celizic writes "Not Time for Yankees to Panic" and makes eerily similar whipped cream reference:

"It’s hard to make panic seem banal, but that’s what the Yankees have accomplished over the years... [blahblah] ...Panic should be saved for special occasions. For the Yankees, a day without panic is like a hot fudge sundae without whipped cream."

WTF? Has the powerful Whipped Cream lobby gotten to HatGuy?

 
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