Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

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Saturday, January 27, 2007


But What About The Cheese, Dr. Z? WHAT ABOUT THE CHEESE?

Someone's been reading too much HatGuy.'s Dr. Z (Man, has this guy been around a long time. I think he's written for SI longer than I've been alive.) is hungry, and he's going to kick off his latest column with a food metaphor bang.

I am constructing this column as one would build a first-rate lasagna. First the pasta, which would be all those nasty letters I got from Bear fans. (Andrew assures me that there were hundreds and hundreds of these noodles). Then the assortment of cheeses, leading off with ricotta. Then my sauce, heavy with meat and spices. That will be my E-mailer of the Week entry. No fair eating the column. This is merely an analogy.


As reader Jack notes, "There are multiple problems with the first paragraph, but the one that bugs me is that he doesn't even use the ricotta as an analogy to anything. He suggests that a portion of his article might consist of physical ricotta cheese."

Not only that, but this is half-assedery at its worst. What does pasta have to do with nasty letters? Your "sauce, heavy with meat and spices" is your E-mailer of the Week entry? That's really "mailing it in," Dr. Z. Ho ho ho!

Also, the more you look at it, the more the analogy falls apart. Since he leaves the cheese alone, you realize that Dr. Z's lasagna column really only has two ingredients -- letters and an e-mail. Which, if you think about it, are pretty much the same thing. Lasagna. One thing.

Lasagna isn't even a Chicago food.

Seriously, though, what the fuck. It's total nonsense.

My conclusion is that sportswriters just fucking love food.

Labels: ,

posted by Junior  # 3:20 PM
First of all, we are totally screwing our whole labeling system by adding comedy labels like "food metaphors." For the record, I am all for it. I would like there eventually to be 5,000 label categories with one link each.

Second, here's a sentence rom later on in that Dr. Z article:

And now we add the things that will make our dish a masterpiece of Italian cuisinery, the meat, the spices.

Someone please parse that, please. Make note of the enthusiastic use of commas in place of colons and/or conjunctions.

This question comes from the man who brought the world "half-assedery" approximately three inches above this sentence.
Did you go back and add a "food metaphors" label to a post from six months ago?

Right now we're looking at "food metaphors" label: 2 posts, "joe morgan" label: 0 posts.

Maybe we should change the name to
I added the food meatphors tag to a past post.

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