FIRE JOE MORGAN: Gay People = Asparagus


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007


Gay People = Asparagus

Ladies and gentlemen, Gene Wojciechowski:

Tim Hardaway hates gay people. I hate asparagus. You hate Lindsay Lohan ring tones. This is important why?

I think the difference is that no one ever robbed asparagus, severely beat asparagus, tied asparagus to a fence post and left asparagus to die.

This is no longer about alternative lifestyles, or whatever the hell euphemism nervous people use to describe gays.

I think the word is "gay."

I'm not naïve enough to believe homosexuality in sports isn't an issue, but it no longer is the issue. Those days are gone. That's why Amaechi is no pioneer and Hardaway is barely a footnote.

That's why there are so many openly gay male athletes currently playing in the three major sports. Because it's totally cool now. Tim Hardaway, you silly anachronism!

I don't need any more heartfelt disclosures from the Amaechis of the world. Been there, read that. That's because we live in different, more enlightened times now. Perfect? No. Better? Yes.

It's not my fault Hardaway didn't get the memo.

In closing, I would just like to say that I hate it when people say "didn't get the memo." 499,000 hits on Google. Stop it.

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posted by Junior  # 4:57 PM
I am going to say kudos to Wojo for the correct use of the umlaut in "naïve."
...but reader Bob is going to say: "Opposite of Kudos" to me for not knowing my shizz:

If we're going to be picky about punctuation, I should point out that the diacritical mark in naïve is not an umlaut--it is a dieresis. The two marks look the same but an umlaut is used to change a vowel to give it a "front" pronunciation, as in Führer. A dieresis indicates that a vowel which one might assume is silent should be pronounced distinctly in its own syllable, as is the case in naïve. The mark doesn't change the pronunciation of the "i"; it simply indicates that it should be separated from the "a".

Now I know. And knowing is half the battle!
You mean: "bäsébøll."
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