FIRE JOE MORGAN: Gallimaufry Time!


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

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Saturday, May 19, 2007


Gallimaufry Time!

It's time for a small number of people's favorite FJM post-type: The Gallimaufry!

Tony says:
From today's NY Daily News: A poll of 15 baseball "brains," taken to determine which player is superior: Jose Reyes or Derek Jeter. Reyes wins 8-5, with 2 voters undecided. Fine. My gripe is with this, in defense of Jeter:

"Those who picked Jeter talked about his clutch play and leadership. As a National League GM put it, 'Derek Jeter wins Game 7 of the World Series better than anyone in baseball for 2007.'"

Derek Jeter, were he to play in a WS Game 7, would win...better than anyone? What?

So: Jose Reyes could conceivably be on a team that wins a WS Game 7, but if Derek Jeter were playing in place of Reyes, he would win the same game "better?"

And, presumably, Jeter would also win "better" than his own teammates in such a game, since they would each count as "anyone in baseball for 2007."

It's fun to try to figure out which anonymous NL GM made this asinine comment. My guess is the Nationals' Jim Bowden.
I second the nomination of Bowden. Few others can match that quotation's combination of senselessness and poor grammar.

John writes:
I was watching the Yankees/White Sox game yesterday, and it was the Chicago feed, featuring the loathsome Hawk Harrelson. I'm sorry that I don't have a transcript of what he had to say about Darin Erstad, but I do have a very good memory.

Here goes:

"You look at Darin Erstad, and you don't see the best hitter in the game. You don't see the best centerfielder. You don't see the best first baseman. But put it all together, and he's one of the best baseball players you'll ever see."

This was after a little opposite field single and a stolen base. Imagine if he had laid down a bunt!
Yes. Just imagine. My goodness. Hawk might have had a heart attack.

***Note: Reader Jim chimes in to say that it was Darrin Jackson, not Hawk, who said this about Erstad. Even so, I'm betting Hawk was right there with him. Plus, there's also this next comment...

Speaking of Hawk and Ersty, Patrick files this report from the financial heart of Boston:

This came from Hawk and DJ during the Chisox v. Yanks game tonight,
about one Darin Erstad...

DJ: "I think he's faster now than he was with the Angels a few years ago."

Hawk: "Oh, yeah, I totally agree. You know, a lot of people don't know this, but he was the state champion in the 110 and 330 meter hurdles in high school,
up there in North Dakota."

Punter, hockey player, track star.....WHAT CAN'T HE DO???!!
Play baseball well.

Dan writes in with a special hockey note:
I know you don't really cover hockey, but on ESPN's Sabres/Senators highlights from last night's game, after the Sabres' 3-0 lead was chipped down to a 3-2 lead, Barry Melrose described the Sabres' mental state as being "like Jack Nicholson in the movie 'Psycho' "
That makes me angrier than Hank Azaria in "The African Queen."

And finally, John writes in to explain Joe Morgan's overuse of "consistency."

It's simple: Joe doesn't actually know the definition of the word "consistency." He just uses it because it sounds analytical.

Case in point, the Twins/Tigers game from Sunday night. The Twins scored 14 runs, you might recall. Joe said something during the broadcast to the effect of "the Twins have had trouble staying consistent, until tonight."
So....they haven't been consistent, until this one game. How is one game a sign of
consistency? It's clear that Joe thinks that consistency just means "playing well",
instead of what it actually means. So don't expect a consistent answer from Joe.
Fair enough.

And as always, loyal readers, thanks for the continuing stream of links, tips, thoughts, and analyses. You, not the children, are truly the future.


posted by Anonymous  # 3:07 PM
Anyone want to guess Derek Jeter's actual record in WS Game 7s? I'll give you a hint... He's no Tony Womack.
A Chester Jesterton sighting. Folks, this is truly an honor. You have no idea who this man is. Trust me: if you knew, it would blow your minds.
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