FIRE JOE MORGAN: Dept. of Corrections


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Tuesday, August 14, 2007


Dept. of Corrections

Wherein we allow you, the readers, to correct something you, the readers, contributed the previous day.

Re: Mr. Patrick Brian Burrell (alias "Pat the Bat") and his ability to piston his legs and propel his body with much celerity, Joshua has the following correction:

You've got the Pat Burrell story all wrong. JM didn't say that they were going to play behind Burrell because he can run (you don't play behind someone who can run, even JM knows that). What happened was JM expressed his surprise at the fact that the Braves were playing Texiera behind Burrell, despite the fact that "Burrell can run" (for the record, Burrell CAN run, just extremely slowly). I was flabbergasted when JM said that, because anybody who knows anything about Pat Burrell knows that he has below-average speed - for a catcher with a broken ankle. As a Phillies fan, I was disappointed when Francouer gunned down Burrell at the plate shortly thereafter, but took a little comfort in the fact that at least it made JM look like the complete moron he is (not that we needed more evidence). Importantly, contrary to Reader Jason's account, Burrell was not running on contact, he was running WITH THE PITCH (on a full count with two outs). When Werth hit a screaming one-hopper to Francouer, I knew it would take a bad throw to score Burrell, but I thought he'd at least be in the picture when McCann caught the ball and turned to look for him. Shockingly, JM never acknowledged his mistake in claiming that "Burrell can run." But I've always felt that running fast is the key to good speed.

Tomorrow, we will run a Dept. of Assholish Spelling Corrections wherein we correct Joshua's spelling of "Francoeur" within this correction. Thank you for the correction, Joshua.

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posted by Junior  # 12:53 PM
Spelling gnomes: yes, the Dept. of C. will correct "Teixeira" in a future edition.*

*Future edition may never be published
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