FIRE JOE MORGAN: Fact: Your Opinion is Wrong


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Friday, September 28, 2007


Fact: Your Opinion is Wrong

I know it's like deliberately goofy and stuff, but I just love the title of this gem by Bryan Burwell, published 2 days ago over at MSNBC.

A little more than a year ago, the [Cardinals] were on an unconscious roll toward an unlikely World Series title and this ballpark was alive with championship noises.

No. A little over a year ago, the Cards were finishing up a shitty 12-16 September and limping into the playoffs.

Down in Miami, the first-place (NL Central) Cubs are battling all sorts of ghosts, curses and have been swept by the suddenly feisty Marlins, and because they are the Cubs, we are almost positive that some cruel and unusual punishment will befall Cubdom once again. I don’t know when, I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but over the next three days, the sky will fall and there will be a darned little blue bear smashed on the pavement.

Cubs won tonight, 6-0. 2.5 game lead with two to play as I type this.

This is why sports are fun. This is why the wild card is one thing Bud Selig got right. I love the wild card. I love the idea that seven teams cannot fit into four NL slots. I love that it’s a mad scramble and it’s impossible to tell how it will all end.

Except that you "know" that the Cubs will collapse, because they are the victims of a curse.

Twice a day — maybe more — Lou Pinella, the Cubs manager, keeps telling anyone who will listen that his team will not fall victim once again to a century’s worth of bad fortune. He swears the Cubs will hold on to their division lead. He swears that the long-suffering Cubs fans will not add another horrid chapter to a 99-year-old legacy of torment and heartache.

“There is no curse,” Piniella said before Tuesday’s game.

The Cubs then went out and lost a two-hitter to the worst team in the National League, 4-2.

Only explanation for a 4-2 loss: supernatural forces.

Time is running out, and if I was a betting man,

"Were." Hypothetical subjunctive, man. Come on.

here’s what I’d put my money on:

The Mets will hold to their division lead.

Mets lost today. Phillies won. Mets are a game out.

The Cubs will not. There is a curse. There is a curse.

Again, Cubs won. I am watching the Brewers lose to San Diego right now. That will mean a three game lead for the Cubs with two to play. That will mean a division win for the Cubs. Unless...........the curse should strike! And add more games!!!!

Philadelphia will find its way into the playoffs, and Charlie Manuel will save his job and win manager of the year.

Yes. They will probably win their division, beating those selfsame Mets you said would not collapse.

The Brewers win the NL Central because they finish the season at home, where they are 20 games above .500.

The Brewers have lost the NL Central.

The Colorado Rockies will win the NL West, knocking off first-place Arizona with the season-closing series in Denver this weekend.

Colorado has lost the NL West. You didn't make these bets, did you?

A year ago, the last team you could have imagined won the World Series. The Cardinals finished the regular season with a paltry 83 victories. They lost 10 of their last 14 games, and had a seven-game losing streak that stretched into the game’s final week.

You know, Bryan Burwell, a writer I very much admire once said this about the 2006 St. Louis Cardinals: "A little more than a year ago, the [Cardinals] were on an unconscious roll toward an unlikely World Series title and this ballpark was alive with championship noises." You know who that writer was? It was you, like five seconds ago. Please jibe the sentence you just wrote with the one you wrote five seconds ago.

Twelve months later, the mad rush toward October baseball is back in full affect. It doesn’t matter what we think. It doesn’t matter what insurmountable odds are piled up against these players. Miracles can happen and usually do.

Except for the Cubs.

There is a curse. There really is.

No, there is not. There is no such things as curses. Just as there is no such thing as hobgoblins, wood sprites, Poseidons, Giant Aardwolves, Godzillas, orcs, teeth fairies, psychics, daemons, or true Yankees.

The Cubs just won the Central. The curse is reversed!!!!!!!

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posted by Unknown  # 10:10 PM
Twelve months later, the mad rush toward October baseball is back in full affect.


--Spelling Gnome

And now, to get shitfaced.
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