FIRE JOE MORGAN: I Recommend Staying Away From This Site For A Couple Days If You Don't Want To Read About Alex Rodriguez


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FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Tuesday, October 09, 2007


I Recommend Staying Away From This Site For A Couple Days If You Don't Want To Read About Alex Rodriguez

Make a little room in the A-Rod pigpile for the International Herald Tribune. Mon dieu!

Alex Rodriguez's brown eyes were moist and bloodshot, obvious evidence of how he had reacted on a gloomy night.

You know what A-Rod could have really used? A couple drops of Derek Jeter's CalmEye from Visine.

He watched the Yankees lose to the Cleveland Indians, 6-4, to end a potentially memorable season and perhaps end his career, too.

Wait -- what? End his career? Quoi?

Yes, Rodriguez singled with the Yankees trailing, 6-1. Yes, he drilled a homer against Rafael Perez with the Yankees behind by four runs for his first homer and first run batted in across the last 16 playoff games. He also popped out in the ninth. But Rodriguez's first two at bats, those uncomfortable at bats, will stick with him. Especially if this was his last game as a Yankee.

To put a Juniorian twist on it, let's rewrite that paragraph as if Jeter, not A-Rod, had gone 2-5 with a tater:

After being fooled like so many of his teammates by Paul Byrd in his first two at bats, the Captain's bat awoke when his team needed him most. Jeter punched a gutsy single to left in the bottom of the fifth, only to be stranded. And in the seventh, the Truest of Yankees crushed a Rafael Perez offering deep into the Bronx night towards monument valley where someday, his stately calm-eyed countenance shall join the likes of Ruth, Mantle, and DiMaggio. Like so many of his home runs before, this hit was perfectly timed; down four with their backs against the wall in the series, his team had never needed him more. Sadly, the rules of baseball prevented HRH Number Two from batting more than one other time (a most un-Jeterlike pop-up in the ninth), and his teammates could only muster one other run before time ran out. As Cleveland celebrated, and the home team walked off the field for the last time until April, one thing remained certain: Derek Jeter was the real hero of 9/11.

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posted by dak  # 6:42 PM
Thanks to reader Google News for the tip.
A huge thanks to reader San Fran Kevin who points out that A-Rod's eyes are, in fact, hazel.
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