FIRE JOE MORGAN: A-Rod Blows Clutch High-Five, Yankees Lose Ten Straight


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Friday, April 18, 2008


A-Rod Blows Clutch High-Five, Yankees Lose Ten Straight

We'll be talking about this one for months, folks. NY Post me.


Because every move he makes is under a huge spotlight, Alex Rodriguez was asked last night why he doesn't shake hands, exchange fist knuckles or acknowledge Bobby Abreu Bobby Abreu when Abreu homers in front of him.

That's right. Twice this season already, after Bobby Abreu hit a home run, Alex Rodriguez failed to high-five him, costing his team countless runs. (Under the 2008 official baseball rule changes, as you may recall, a post-HR high-five clinches the "bonus zone," wherein the umpire must roll a seven-sided die and award the high-fivers' team the number of runs equaling the result of the roll.)

As Abreu approaches the plate Rodriguez is off to the left side going through his preparation to hit, a program that includes a violent practice swing.

Violent and nefarious and villainous, like A-Rod! His practice swing is so violent, it tore through the fabric of space-time and poked through a hole in Nuremburg, Germany, where his evil bat struck Flocke the adorable polar bear cub in the head!

Truly, we've arrived at a nadir in A-Rod bashing. It's not his fault that every time Derek Jeter high fives a teammate, an orphan gets a tube of Rolos.

"I have always done that because I don't like celebrating on the field," Rodriguez said before last night's 7-5 loss to the Red Sox in which he went 1-for-4 and 0-for-1 in the clutch to lower his batting average to .067 (1-for-15) with runners in scoring position. "When the hitter in front of me strikes out, I don't go over and pat him on the shoulder."

0-1! 0-1! Torches and pitchforks, please, everyone. These clutch stats are, of course, entirely gratuitous. Yes, Alex Rodriguez is 1-15 with RISP this year. Last year with RISP he hit .333/.460/.678. That's right. A high-five-worthy 1.138 OPS. And for his career, he's at .960, right in line with his overall OPS of .967.

The Post truly has an unprecedented claptrap to paragraph ratio. We all know, anyway, that A-Rod only likes to high-five pitchers who're trying to tag him out.


posted by Junior  # 2:59 PM
This made me laugh. From reader Martin:

Am I understanding this correctly? The media is criticizing A-Rod for not doing enough on-field preening/showboating?

Have they criticized him for not using enough steroids yet?

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