FIRE JOE MORGAN: Small Sample Size Gilloolys


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Thursday, April 24, 2008


Small Sample Size Gilloolys

Gilloolies? Let's go with Gilloolies.

You know what I'm talking about. Three days into the season, a sportswriter disembowels a player for "hitting .028!!! He's killing his team!!!!" Then a month or two later, it's completely forgotten because baseball's season is eternal.

Exhibit A, NUMBER ONE, AWESOME today: Wallace Matthews in Newsday.

Reyes, do you want to be a Jeter or a Rey Ordonez?

We're 18 games in, Wallace. Please don't use statistics -- which I'm sure you claim not to trust anyway -- to crucify a guy who is 24 years old and in all likelihood is going to be fine.

I'll summarize the intro for you: Derek Jeter is a supergod amongst gods, like all Titan-style, like Cronus and shit. Rey Ordonez was a bust. Jeter rules, Ordonez drools. Et cetera, ad nauseam.

Here's the meaty part:

This year, you [Reyes] are hitting only .280.

I'm excited to do this. Are you?

Jeter: .277.

You have drawn a mere four walks,

Jeter: 2 walks.

stolen only three bases in five tries,

Jeter: 0 steals.

scored only 12 runs.

Jeter: 7 runs (!)

Your OBP, .313,

Jeter: .309.

is worse than all but three other NL leadoff hitters.

-- but better than the living embodiment of heroism, Derek Jeter.

Even Rickie Weeks, batting .192 at the top of the Brewers' lineup, is getting on base more often than you.

And Jeter. Don't forget the man whose face I am nominating to adorn the next dollar coin, Derek Jeter.

Jeter is a terrific hitter. Jose Reyes is a terrific player. Wallace Matthews is driving an Underwater StupidTank to Uninformed Thinking Island if he believes that either of their starts is indicative of what their career values will end up being.

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posted by Junior  # 4:13 PM
Where are the jokes about barf and testicles you promised in the last post?
I know this comment could be written about every article we go after, but: this really is incredibly stupid.
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