"It's my fault, I take full responsibility for it," Ricciardi, the Toronto Blue Jays' general manager, said last night. "I tried to get Adam's phone number from the Reds ... and if he wants to talk to me, I'll talk to him and apologize personally. But I apologize to him and the Reds. I need to be better than that. I let my guard down."
That's a man's apology. Here's how Bissinger would've done it:
I apologize to Adam, and I admit that there are some good Reds out there, like Ken Griffey, Jr. and Aaron Harang. For the most part, though, the Reds as a whole are a worthless team -- a baseball-playing gangbang, if you will. These kids just don't get it. If George Washington would have known that freeing the slaves would just result in guys like Corey Patterson and Joey Votto stinking up the field, he never would have signed the Emancipation Proclamation. What's that? Joey Votto's white? Whatever. I apologized. Isn't that enough, goddammit?
Labels: adam dunn, buzz bissinger, j.p. ricciardi
