FIRE JOE MORGAN: Open Letter Etc. Etc.


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Wednesday, June 04, 2008


Open Letter Etc. Etc.

Real quick, because this Open Letter thing is threatening to get out of hand:

1. Yes, there are a lot of jerks out there. There's only one Biggest Jerk Ever. And my main point is that bringing in the Biggest Jerk Ever for a few weeks of production just doesn't seem worth it.

2. Before I forget -- sorry I called you an asshole. You know I love you, bubelah.

3. "I thought I knew you?" Are you kidding, you asshole? You were the one who just cited Bill James's own piece saying that the numbers didn't make sense. And as far as believing that the circus atmosphere would damage the team -- in this case, yeah, I do. The Shaughnessey thing I included because you know there'd be a month worth of shit-stirring, and who needs that, especially when it's with the all-time #1 shit stirrer journalist and the #1 all-time shit-stirred player? Why invite the headache?

4. Sorry I called you an asshole again. You're my best bud.

5. The whole moral issue is iffy, I know, and as many an emailer has already pointed out, Julio Lugo beat up his wife in a parking lot, and isn't that worse than blah blah blah? My point, asshole, is that I think it's icky to say that you would happily win the WS and have it be exposed that the DH on your team was a massive PED user. Even if there wasn't a big punishment in place for steroid users until 2003, there sure as hell is now, and if you just willy-nilly hire the biggest most famous drug user in sports history for a month, and you get 5 HR and 12 walks, and 100 headaches and 500 altercations with reporters and 700 questions to Francona about XYZ and on and on and on, and then he tests positive the day they win it all? You're cool with that? I don't know, man. Cheating is bad. I think we can all agree that cheating is bad. You shouldn't be cool with cheating.

6. Sorry, dude, but you don't "get points for creativity" when you throw your kids in front of you to take bullets from the media -- especially when you, at that moment and at countless others, are lying through your teeth. That's a shitty, shitty, shitty thing to do, to use your kids like that. It was fucking gross and cowardly.

7. This won't end until Junior or Murbles writes an Open Letter to both of us that says: "You're both assholes. Shut up and attack Plashke or something."

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