Okay, I thought I was finished, but I'm not.
Dear Jon Heyman,
I know you probably think you're a guy who "doesn't rely on stats" and "thinks there's more to the game than numbers," but I submit to you that the only reason you selected Francisco Rodriguez to be your AL MVP (MVP!) is that he corralled a large (a record, in fact -- !) number of saves. Saves, as I'm sure you've been told many times, are a ridiculous stat, the kind of stat that gives stats a bad name. So you really shouldn't use them when making such important decisions as selecting your fictional #1 MVP choice on your fake MVP ballot.
I will now list various players, persons, and other entities in the American League of U.S.A. professional baseball who were more valuable than Francisco Rodriguez:
The crowd at Camden Yards
A replay monitor
Heart, the intangible quality
Heart, the band
Birds -- all of them. Just birds in general.
This guy Rick who fixed my rearview mirror
Zombie Bernie Mac
I bet if Scot Shields or Jose Arredondo were the closer they would have broken Bobby Thigpen's record too, I'm just saying -- does this count as an entity?
Labels: crazy lists, jon heyman, mvp, the ramblings of an insane person