FIRE JOE MORGAN

But I'm devastated that I'll have to wait months and months before seeing Fox's Scouting Reports and Keys to the Game again.

For Josh Fogg in Game 3:

1) Dragon slayer -- beats good teams.
2) If stuff matched his heart, he'd be a Hall of Famer.

They might have well have added

3) Outstanding, once-in-a-generation hypothetical cut fastball
4) If hands were made of metal, he'd be affected by powerful electromagnets buried underneath the field.

And before the clincher, we were offered these keys:

Red Sox: Try To Wrap-Up Lopsided Series

Rockies: Desperate Times, Simply Win Tonight

I will never stop enjoying these. "Try to win." "Simply win." Win the next win is all, guys.

Additional Key To The Game: Both Teams Cannot Win.

Labels: fox

A lot of funny/sad McCarver moments last night. There was the time he asserted confidently that Josh Beckett had retired six batters in a row -- no, wait, it's been ten. Apologies, it was nine. Very soon after that, he talked about how impressed he was about Beckett's low pitch count even with his high strikeout total -- 63 pitches! No, wait, it's 73 (the graphic had just appeared on screen -- and by the time he corrected himself, hey, it was 74 already). There was the seemingly endless digression on the impressiveness of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, all during a close ALCS elimination game.

But perhaps nothing encapsulates the inanity of the broadcast more than the keys to the game:

RED SOX: WIN OR SEE YOU IN FORT MYERS

INDIANS: FINISH THE JOB... NO TRIP BACK TO BOSTON

You see, baseball laypeople, take it from me, Tim McCarver, a baseball expert: the key to winning the game is to win the game. Here is my reasoning: I will tell you the cities to which these teams will travel if they do not win the game.

I really wish McCarver did weekly Internet chats.

Labels: fox, tim mccarver

Still reeling from that "Scouting Report" that FOX gave us on Brad Garrett's character in the new sitcom "Til Death."

I need some Advil.

Labels: brad garrett, fox

1. Were I a member of Eric Byrnes’ immediate family, I might be more than a little worried about the current state of his mental health.

2. Fox has still not granted women the right to predict who will win the World Series. (Kennedy: Tigers in 6; Byrnes: Tigers; Zelasko: toss to commercial)

3. Nothing – and I mean nothing – represents the zeitgeist of the 2006 Detroit Tigers better than Architecture In Helsinki.

(I tried to get this up 4 hours ago but Blogger has been down. Oh well.)

Labels: eric byrnes, fox, world series

At the end of the day, their style of play: their lack of speed, their failure to play smallball -- the ability to play smallball -- another season, will that lack of execution or even having that in your hip pocket to pull out from time to time ... will it cost them in the postseason?

Guess which team he's talking about?

I'm going to lean toward the "it's not the lack of smallball, it's the fact that they got 2-hit in Game Three and allowed 5 and 8 runs in Games One and Two, respectively" camp.

Labels: fox, smallball

Andy Van Slyke made the comment just yesterday that if he had a daughter -- and Andy does not -- but if he did, Curtis Granderson is the kind of kid he wants his daughter to marry.

You know, baseball talk.

Labels: curtis granderson, fox

Not a big deal, certainly, but didn't Jim Leyland win a World Series Championship in 1997?

Let me rephrase that. Jim Leyland won the World Series as a manager in 1997 for the Florida Marlins. Why is FoxSports.com trying to convince me that he has some sort of Championship monkey on his back?

Labels: fox, jim leyland, monkeys