FIRE JOE MORGAN: Mystery Solved

FIRE JOE MORGAN

Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

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Saturday, June 24, 2006

 

Mystery Solved

Hundreds of good guesses as to Joe's mysterious phone call (see post below if you are getting here late). Many suggested the caller was some combination of Billy Beane, Michael Lewis, or "the computer that wrote 'Moneyball.'" Other guesses ranged from Phil Mickelson to Osama Bin Laden. Here are a few of my favorites.

Joe was on the phone with his financial adviser. He didn't care about the amount of money in his account, he just wanted to know if his money was "hustling" or "gritty" and if it could hit to the right side with a man on second.

--tomservo

Joe Morgan was making a trade in his intangibles fantasy league. He was getting rid of Alex Rodriguez for Bernie Williams. What a steal for Joe, since Bernie has won four championships.

--Jake

[Thoughtjunkie had a similar idea: Joe got wrapped up in making a trade for his Intangible Fantasy Baseball League...He came THIS close to unloading A-Rod (Hustle:5, Grit: 1, PlaysGameRightWay: 2) and Garciapara (4,3,3) for David Eckstein (9,8,11)]

Here's a nice thought from Ryan:

I think Joe was just "phoning in" his next Sunday night broadcast.

And Brian had a particularly harsh rebuke...of Mike Celizic:

HatGuy called and Joe abruptly hung up. Even Joe hates his crap.

Ouch.

Joe’s not really sure who the phone call came from. It could have been his mother. It could have been his wife. It could have been his dog calling for more treats. The bottom line is that it’s all about execution. Joe answered the phone call promptly and courteously. And that’s what’s important. Tony Perez – who you might not know but was a teammate of Joe’s in Cincinnati - always used to answer phone calls efficiently. It didn’t show up in the boxscores, but there was no one better at answering phone calls than Tony Perez.

--Paul

It was Dave Concepcion on the phone. they were having an argument on who was the best double play combo to play the game. They ranked Morgan and Concepcion number one, followed by Concepcion and Morgan.

--Migue

I don’t think it was a phone call. Someone turned on an actual live baseball game on one or more of the TV screens in the room. Joe, rather than watch more than one game a week, had to be removed from the room and put on oxygen.

--Zach

Joe found his daughter, with only a flashlight and a copy of Moneyball, under the kitchen sink. And she was supposed to be practicing gymnastics.

--Adam

(That's my favorite of the "Moneyball"-related answers. It has a wonderful sense of optimism. It believes the children are our future.)

Here's a slightly less heartwarming notion, from Joseph:

Jeter called and told Joe he had 3 hours to get to New York and blow him.

Eminently plausible.

And finally, my personal favorite, from Matt:

I don't know who it was, I just wish he'd call during Sunday Night Baseball.

Amen, brother. Amen.

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posted by Ken Tremendous  # 3:18 PM
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