FIRE JOE MORGAN: We're Not Having Another Contest


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Wednesday, July 12, 2006


We're Not Having Another Contest

But geez. What is going on in JoeLand?

Buzzmaster: Joe will be here momentarily so keep the questions coming!

Buzzmaster: Joe has been held up so let's chat amongst ourselves for a few minutes...What are your overall impressions of last night's Home Run Derby?

Brian (Pittsburgh): want me to leave my desk to go find Joe?? I'm willing to skip out on work for the good of the SN

Buzzmaster: See what you can do, Brian...

Steve: Speaking of Joe.. is he even coming?

Buzzmaster: Joe was pulled away at the last minute but we're efforting a makeup date for today's chat...

I'm guessing this is the deal:

Joe sometimes walks into a room for a chat, sees a computer, thinks it's there to harm him, gets out a Tony Perez-model bat he carries around at all times in a sheath on his back like a Samurai, and smashes it to bits. Then he slowly blinks back to consciousness, like Anthony Perkins in Psycho, sees what he's done, panics, sweeps up the room to perfection, drops the mangled CPU in a dumpster, resheaths his bat, sticks his hands in his pockets, and wanders out onto the street, whistling blithely and nodding amiably to fellow ambulators.

Here's my favorite exchange from the aborted chat:

shaundele56: Buzz stick around. You have much more knowledge of baseball than Joe does.

Buzzmaster: An obvious attempt to get posted...Thank for the props but there's no way I can touch Joe where baseball knowledge is concerend...I went to a World Series game once, even been to the Hall of Fame, but never actually played in the majors...I think Joe has a leg up there...

Even Buzz thinks you have to have Played the Game in order to Know Stuff About the Game. He's been hanging around Joe for too long.

Enjoy tomorrow: the worst day of the baseball season.

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