FIRE JOE MORGAN

We've known for years that players like Darin Erstad and David Eckstein provide an extra five to ten wins a year to their teams regardless of how they perform on the field. Finally, though, Kenny Williams has given this phenomenon a name:

"Aaron Rowand gave us an edge two years ago," general manager Kenny Williams said. "That grinder effect, if you will. We missed it last year. I've always thought that Aaron Rowand and Darin Erstad were the poster children for that style of play."

Wondering if your team will benefit from the grinder effect this season? Here is a handy list of G.E.P.s (grinder effect producers) for the 2007 season:

Darin Erstad
Aaron Rowand
David Eckstein
Trot Nixon
Scott Podsednik
Adam Everett
Craig Counsell
Adam Kennedy
Mark Lemke (retired, will confer his G.E.P. to the Braves regardless)

And here is a summary of players who will not provide any G.E.:

Minorities

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If I were a shitty version of George Carlin, I might do a routine about grinders that went something like this:

"Kenny Williams calls Darin Erstad a grinder because he thinks he's a hero. Well, I agree that Darin Erstad is a grinder, but only because I think he's really a sub."

This two-sentence "routine" plays on the little quirk of our language that there are several different regional names for a sandwich made on a long piece of bread.

Labels: aaron rowand, darin erstad, grinder effect, ken williams, punter