FIRE JOE MORGAN: Baseball Players


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

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Sunday, April 15, 2007


Baseball Players

Tribe-ChiSox. 8th inning. One-run game. Darin Erstad just bunted a guy over to second. Take it away, Hawk Harrelson and the other guy (Darrin Jackson?).

Hawk: He [Erstad] just does a lot of things good on the baseball field.

Other Guy
: Well, again, mentioned it earlier. It's because he's practiced. And taken pride in the practice. Just keep doing things right and they pay off for you.

: The term is becoming more popular with players, you didn't hear it too much in the past, but...he's just a baseball player. And that is a tremendous compliment. Because there are some guys who play in the big leagues who are really not baseball players. They're just either hitters, o -- or, you know, good defensive guys. But they're just not baseball players. They don't have real good instincts. [Konerko steps into the box.] So here's Paulie. And I think that probably the "instincts" is the key word in being named a "baseball player."

Other guy
: I'd agree and also, I'll take it -- I'll add to that, in the fact that I look at a guy when I sit there and say "He's just a baseball player," it's just somebody that can do everything out there. Just everything. Bunt, get dirty, hustle at all times, kind of "heads and above" the others that are out there. Not that they're not baseball players, but when you see Erstad, or anybody else -- like, if David Eckstein, you know? Giving everything they have on the field, you just say, "Man, there's a baseball player!"

Hawk: Roberto Alomar. Go right to the top.

Other Guy
: Oh yeah.

Hawk: Didn't have to tell him anything.

[moment later]

Other Guy: There's more distractions for players in today's baseball than with past players, when you were playing. There were a whole bunch of baseball players.

Hawk: Oh no no no. There were a bunch of guys [laughing], back in those days too, who were not baseball players.

Other Guy: Really.

Hawk: The only thing they could do was hit. The only thing they could do was field, you know.

Other Guy: Yeah. [beat] I just saw the highlights.

(Sabathia gets out of the inning.)

So, to sum up.

In order to be a baseball player, you have to do everything. Which is:

Bunt, get dirty, hustle at all times. And be "kind of 'heads and above' [sic]" other non-baseball players.

Some examples of baseball players (and their career OPS+) : Darin Erstad (96), David Eckstein (88), Robby Alomar (116 -- and he's probably a HOFer, so they've got me there).

If we get any more information on the actual occupation of the other people we assumed were baseball players, due to their employment by professional baseball teams, we will let you know.

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posted by Unknown  # 3:32 PM
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