FIRE JOE MORGAN: "...and the legs of a supermodel."

FIRE JOE MORGAN

Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

 

"...and the legs of a supermodel."

Ah, the "face of a closer." That menacing stare of pure intimidation that weakens the knees of the game's best players. The "clutch" equivalent of face-having. Clutchface.

Dave O'Brien of the AJ-C knows that face, and sees it in none other than Rafael Soriano. How do I know this? Mainly because (a) reader Charles H. tipped us off and (b) the friggin title of the article is:

"Soriano has the face of a closer."

The article itself is not much more than you'd expect: "scraggly goatee"; "hard throwing"; "face of sheer domination"; "his countenance is dark, serious"...

Wanna see some other faces of closers? Here. I'll show you the faces of the all-time leaders in saves.

This guy looks a dude I went to high school with.

This dude plays bass for the Roots.

This guy likes pizza!

Terrifying.

Dad?

And of course sixth on the all-time list...oh fuck.

Finally, a picture of the subject of the article, Rafael Soriano. Children, pregnant women, and faint-hearted non-Ecksteins of the world may not want to look. This face is so closer-y it will give you lucid nightmares.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Egads
!

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posted by dak  # 6:00 PM
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