FIRE JOE MORGAN: McCarver on McCarver


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007


McCarver on McCarver

Just talked to my man KT, on his way home from a rough day at Fremulon. All I can say is: if any of our readers are college seniors thinking about becoming insurance adjusters, do not put Fremulon at the top of your list of places to work. They will work you to tha bone!

(Note: This is, in no way, an indictment of Ken's boss, Rog Flavelman, who I have met several times at various F.I. barbecues and bowling parties. Rog is, simply put, a 100% stand-up, awesome dude. There are just some places that have -- I don't know -- an institutional agenda that puts the individual a distant second to the corporation itself. You know what I mean.)

Anyway, Ken tells me that we got some white hot e-mails in re: Timmy McCarvestone at the ASG, but he was too busy dealing with the usual Fremulonsense to post.

Bottom 2. Russell Martin at the dish. Timbo Mac points out that Martin (whose physical resemblance to Entourage's Turtle will be pointed out later in a riveting Fox graphic) has excellent speed for a catcher. Sixteen swipes already this year. Buck then asks Mac what his season high in stolen bases was. His answer?

A very confident: "thirteen."

Of course, the real answer, about which I am even more confident, is nine. Should we be surprised? Not really. This ain't the first time TM has exaggerated about his own abilities. Check it:

July 22nd, 2005, Cardinals at Cubs:

TM: "Derrek Lee is just an unstoppable force at the plate. Sometimes, you just have a season where everything goes your way."
Buck: "Did you have a season like that?"
TM: "I did. 1964. Set my career high in home runs for a season: 140."

August 1st, 1999, Expos at Braves:

TM: "Watch Jose Vidro leg out this triple on the replay. I tell ya, that is not an easy thing to do...hit a triple."
Buck: "You hit many in your day?"
TM: "Not too many, but when I did, I got four bases instead of three."

August 18th, 2002, Mets at Padres:

TM: "There we get a great look at Piazza's catcher's mitt, and how he frames the pitch. I myself never wore more than 1.8 catcher's mitts at a time."

June 4th, 2006, Orioles at Yankees:

TM: "Derek Jeter, of course, the fearless Captain of the Yankees."
Buck: "You were a captain once, were you not?"
TM: "I was indeed. I had the pleasure of being 3 captains, in fact."

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posted by dak  # 10:46 PM
The Fox Saturday Game of the Week on August 1, 1999 was Expos-Braves?!
I know! Weird, right?

It's especially strange considering the Expos and Braves didn't even play each other that day.
By the dubs, tip of the hat to the multiple readers who called Timmy on his bullsh via e-mail.
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