FIRE JOE MORGAN: Why This Site Exists, Part Whatever

FIRE JOE MORGAN

Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Thursday, September 20, 2007

 

Why This Site Exists, Part Whatever

Thanks to reader Greg, we are introduced to Jim Mooney of the Ottawa Sun:

Is A-Rod the best player in MLB this season?

No: Jim Mooney

A .313 average, 52 home runs, 141 RBIs and 134 runs with two weeks to play? He is the best "hitter" in the game this year, without dispute.

Why is "hitter" in quotes? Is "hitting" an unimportant part of the equation? Sure, he's the best "hitter" in the game. But can he cook? And what's his high score on "Snood?" This is the "Best Player in Baseball" contest, man! Factor this shizz in!

However, defensively he lags behind pretty much any third baseman not named Troy and he's despised by opponents and teammates alike.

Is ARod the best player in MLB this season? No. Because he is despised by people. In order to be good at baseball you have to be well-liked. Take Ty Cobb, for example. Or Ted Williams -- a true mensch. Bob Gibson handed out turkeys to homeless dudes every Thanksgiving. Reggie Jackson was basically a father figure/therapist for his teammates. And Roger Clemens was voted "Sweetest" and "Girls' Choice for Brother" in the 2004 MLB Yearbook.

Also, for what it's worth, ARod is fine defensively. Not the best ever, but fine.

MLB's best player? Magglio Ordonez, Ichiro Suzuki, Vladimir Guerrero, Derek Jeter and a handful of others in the AL alone will split that vote. Apparently exotic dancers really like him though.

Terrible, terrible antecedent problem here, with the last sentence. Also..fuck the heck?

WARP3/EqA

Magglio: 10.6/.351
Ichiro: 11.4/.311 (with a like .435 SLG).
Vlad: 8.5/.329
Jetes: 8.7/.294
ARod: 13.7/.361

Where, oh where, is the debate?

(EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that this Mooney fellow may just be a reader of the paper, not a writer. Not that it matters, in the long run.)

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posted by Ken Tremendous  # 11:47 AM
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