FIRE JOE MORGAN: Comments Commence


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Monday, December 03, 2007


Comments Commence

Ah, reader comments.

You guys have been asking us to enable them for years now. It's been on ongoing debate among team FJM for a while now -- it was like our NAFTA or something. (I have no idea what NAFTA actually is, or what happened to it.) One of us was pretty hardcore in favor of 'em, and the other two didn't really care that much. Then suddenly we had a breakthrough: if two of us don't really care about it, why not just try it out and see what happens? As you can imagine, it was a pretty exciting moment for all of us.

So, that's what we're doing. We're opening up comments to all readers.

BUT, be good, people. Obviously we reserve the right to delete any comments for little or no reason. And if we see enough dogshit, we'll shut the whole thing down.

So, what is good shit and what is dogshit? Just be cool. Move the discussion forward. Bring up a different point of view. No 4chan memes.

1) "You guys suck. You are all arrogant pricks who are guilty of the same pig-headedness that you rail against."
We know. Everyone knows.

2) "You guys are f*#$%!##@ing hilarious and your arguments are right on the money!"
Several problems: (a) This is boring. (b) There's no reason to censor yourself; this is the fucking internet and we like to swear. (c) If you're going to censor yourself because you're a God-fearing weirdo or whatever, don't use like nine symbols. And why are three of them "#"?

3) "Paging Dr. Saltalamacchia!"
I don't get it. And even if I did, I don't think I'd like it.

1) "I have done some research that I think might add to the discussion. Let me share it with you..."

2) "I have a different way of interpreting the data at hand. Let me share it with you..."

3) "Why are you guys still using WARP to evaluate players? Can't we all agree that..."

4) "I have a really, really stupid pun involving Manny Acta and his disinclination to bunt. Let me share it with you..."

5) "I think you guys missed a food metaphor label opportunity."

Be smart and kind. Have fun. Enjoy.

If you're not used to looking at the comments, we use an antiquated "drill-down" method where every time you refresh the page, it tells you how many new comments there are. Sometimes. If it's working. So get ready to apple-R a lot. To read the comments, just click on the link that says "4 new comments" or whatever at the end of each post. To "collapse" the comments, just click on the link again.

Labels: , ,

posted by dak  # 11:39 PM
I think we need a food metaphor label!
Let me be the first to say that "dogshit/good shit" should be a label.
The first reader comment on FJM really should have some substance to it. *Shrug*
Shouldn't the very mention of food metaphors open this post up to the label, or at the very least, the "liberal use" label?
Off to a strong start here, with this experiment.
Paging Dr. Saltalamacchia!
Sooo, um, I haven't seen Joe Morgan on ESPN on Sunday nights, has he already been fired?
Aw man, I have been waiting for this on this site since I first learned about it. But given the first six or seven comments, I am pretty sure this will last for all of 10 minutes.

In other news, I was dinking around on, and... did you know Miggy Cabrera has an effing .930 career OPS at 24 yrs old??? I wish the Twins were one of those teams that "spent money" or "liked good players."
It appears likely that at least 1 out of 9 FJM readers doesn't understand exactly what a metaphor is.
Wahoooo, just what i have been waiting for.
lkl stole my thunder, so besides a timid "I love you people", I got nothin. /dogshit
How are you able to crunch all that data you use regularly, if you're on a mac?
I like where this is going. BTW, did anybody else here know that Barry Larkin has a 116 career OPS+? Sorry, just trying to be statistical.
I don't like that you are allowing comments. I don't like it one bit. You are taking FJM from its other-worldly elitist pedestal and placing it amongst the pedestrian rubble. Very bad move. Serious.
As long as the hoi polloi doesn't actually like Colin Cowherd, then what's the problem? Oh, they do? Nuts.
Ten Kremendous!
Speaking of food metaphors - which you were, tangentially - anyone catch the Sports Illustrated article on the Heisman race between Tebow and McFadden? The writer compared the vote to "choosing between an ice cream sundae and a banana split. Either way you pick, you'll regret not having the other one..." or something like that. Bonus points for it not really making sense. Celizik would be proud.
21 comments and not one mention of David Eckstein. Until now.
F*** the heck took you so long?
Count me in as one who's not crazy about the whole reader comments idea. Most people simply do not have anything interesting to say, but that doesn't keep them from submitting comment after comment on their favorite blogs, even if it's just to say, "I agree!" or -- even worse -- to complain about something that they have no control over.

You see? I just wasted your time and mine.
Well there isn't a lot of room to have a comment that actually pertains to the post, so all I'm gonna say is, thanks, this could be fun.

Will there be manny more bunting references today?

/shows self out
Was "God-fearing weirdos" a necessary term?
Also, Bill James wrote an interesting article about the clutch debate in SI. I'm not completely convinced on its validity, but hey it's worth a looksie.
Haiku Time:
Eckstein or Erstad
Which one would I rather have
I'm fucked either way
I propose that "Eckstein's law" henceforth is the FJM equivalent of Godwin's law.
In re: Bonds post below- Giants underperformed about 6 games last year, so given a tiny bit of luck, Jenkins will see them improve significantly next year- and his idiocy will become more ingrained...
Ken, get back to work.

- Jon Fremulon
CEO Fremulon Ins.
Partridge, Kansas
I'm not sure Joe Morgan should be fired. He's the foundation of most of the happiest moments I spend during the workday. If anything, his brand of wacky non-sensicleness (that's a work right?) should be expanded to other sports.

Just imagine a KT write-up of a Joe Morgan luge-related chat.

JM: "Hard to say not having seen the Norwegian women much this year, but they are consistent and it's really anyone's event at this point, as long as the US starts Sheff . . . "

KT: /Wince

You get the idea. Someone get my conversation hat and get Norby on the phone. (Too many gets?)
I'm having a hard time concetrating as I read through these inconsistent comments.

/Joe Morgan
First post!

Or um ... not.

Speaking of Eckstein, don't forget to check out his feature in Highlights.

It was squeezed in between the Timbertoes and Hidden Pictures.
Just a thought ...

Is there a way to have two comment sections? Maybe one Blogger (for FJM members) and one Haloscan (for us peons)? That way people can sift through you guys' comments alone in the website or sift through all the $#!+ we put up in a separate window.

Something to consider.

May I say, I love this site.
These comments make it very hard to concetrate on the post, because they are very inconsistent.
I can't comment about the consistency of comments on other blogs, because I haven't read them, but Dave Concepcion always was good for an insightful comment.
Why no thoughts on the Lastings Milledge trade?

That trade was like swapping your chocolate milk at lunch for Tang!
Check out Hat Guy's FJM like hit piece on Don Imus on MSNBC.
Jeez, shut it down already. Forty comments and about six are worth reading.
Can you please please please write more about Jim Rome? Every time I watch his show I want to blow up his head. The things that he says are asinine and untrue, and he seems like the kind of guy this website would rail on. Yet, I have only found ONE article about him (which was hilarious, by the way).

PLEASE rail on Rome. He's the Darin Erstad of sports journalism.
Not a fan of the comments

I like to think of you guys as immortals in the blogging world, and this just brings you down towards the level of us peasants.

Also, your comments will be much funnier than ours.
I can't believe you did this. This is taint city. Your blog was perfect before this. Just by my sheer commenting, I am poisoning your blog because I lack the sheer ability to critique sportswriters as you do. And see what I did there? I used the word sheer twice in a sentence. Would you ever do that? Eff-uck no you wouldn't, you'd have more sense.

Don't allow the pagans entrance to the gates. They shall not pass.
So get ready to apple-R a lot.


People still use Macs?
Long time reader, first time caller. How about closing down the reader comments and increasing the frequency of posting?
Emmitt Smith Vs. Joe Morgan in a "Who Can Say the Least in the Least Coherrent Manner While actually Speaking for an Extended Period of Time"- constest. Who wins?
This won't end well, but at least it answers the question of why we can't have anything nice.
Well I'm sure this is exactly what the guys were hoping for.

I'm amazed that we've yet to have a post dedicated to creme de la creme blowhard Hank Steinbrenner.
I have to say I thought I'd enjoy reading more comments. I'm less sure now that I've had a chance to read more comments. Maybe there's some way to put the comments elsewhere and have someone include the best ones on the site?
I think the best solution would be to have two comment sections, one for FJM writers, one for dogshit.

And another thing, has really become, 9/10 posts are KT, the other is Junior.
So far FJMs S/G (shit/good) rating is an astounding 48.
See the trend I started by using "concetrate" and "consistent" in the same sentence? I posted mine, then 2 others followed suit with virtually the same sentence. I must be funny!

Read the comments before posting, morons.
I agree that this is a bad idea... While I understand that it absolutely makes your lives easier, well, that doesn't really concern me, now does it?

Honestly, though, you're going to end up with the same problems you had when you shut down comments the first time. A lot of pointless drivel with no real discussion.

Might I suggest a forum for you guys? You can set up forums for free, something like (

I think that'd work much, much better.
I have an idea.

It's a little bit crazy, so just bear with me.

If you don't like reading the comments, then ... don't.

I know, it's totally out there, but I think just maybe it can work.

Also, those who are judging the experiment by this one post ... come on. It's the first one, and the story itself that everyone is commenting on is itself about the commenting. This particular "discussion" can't be used to judge anything of interest.
I feel sick.
I agree... but with who?
please stop public comments.
Please stop making fun of my son.
This is the most pretentious list of comments I've ever read. Take that, everybody who commented before me!
Thanks for letting me post, I will now trade you Carlos Silva as pittance.
@ pudge, That is the most balanced article on Eckstein I've read. Leave it the Highlights to cut to the quick/
I like the comment forum idea presented by Act...

You can also use Ballhype, but I have no idea if that's free. Anything, please, just not this.
My bad, you win the internet, Stats Guy. Congrats, douchey.
Well, Dak, it was worth a shot.
[elated, drunk, enraged, passes out]
I like the comments. Baseball + Trenchant + Smartass = A ray of sunshine into my otherwise dreary life.

If you don't like the comments, don't read 'em. Damn, that was hard.
I just heard the giant sucking sound of lost productivity...

Hopefully this comment section works better than at FanHaus...
Most Disastrous Experiments of All Time, by Disaster Rate (DR):

1. Tuskegee
2. This
Well, NOTHING bad can come of this!
I agree with that guy somewhere up there. Can the comments and increase the frequency of your posts.
Define irony: making a comment to tell everyone how terrible the comments are.
...a highly embarrassing day for the FJM team.
Look... RE: "OMG, if j00 dunt lyk them dunt read them!!!11eleven"

I don't know about any other lunatic who follows this web site, but I enjoy reading the webmasters' comments, and think their descretion was good as far as what got posted and what didn't. I want to continue to see what KT, DAK, Junior, and co. have to say about the articles. But when this is swamped with inane posts, it makes it hard.

Again: Forums.
Once the shock leaves I think the comments will calm down and be better. You guys need a new player to go after. Eckstein is getting boring. Maybe take a poll to see who will be the next "Eckstein".

Damn, it's a good thing I don't give a shit what you think!
This comment has been removed by the author.
Everybody wants to touch their favorite piece of art, and if everybody did, it would be ruined.
Long-time read, first-time caller. This blog sucks.
Listen: I know very little about how forums / online stuff works. That said, I'm interested in the possibility of setting up forums. I just don't want to get involve in heavy lifting. I totally see how it could be a viable alternative to this mess.

So if you know of an EASY way to set something up, beyond the name of a website that hosts forums -- or if you're willing to help set something up for us -- please tell me.

E-mail me:
ETA on the flame war: 15 minutes

ETA on someone equating someone else's comment with Hitler: 17 minutes
Aaaand we're good.

I'm gonna put a hold on this for now. Junior, Ken and I are getting together to watch the Patties game in a bit. We'll talk this whole mess over then.
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