Darin Erstad, the veteran. His first year in Houston...led the majors in hits and runs scored back in 2000, but his numbers have started to drift off in recent years.
"The Big Bopper's health has started to drift off in recent years."
"Dinosaurs haven't been quite as living as they used to be up until quite recently."
Darin Erstad has been regularly taking his ABs without a physical bat for years now, or at least that's what his numbers would indicate.
Then: was this Candy Maldonado's voice? It's gravelly, and it likes Darin Erstad.
I really like this signing right here, because here's a guy who can come off the bench. He can spell Berkman a little bit at first base, a very schooled first baseman. Can play the corner outfield, even center field on short notice...
I really want to support what you're saying, man. Erstad at the very least is a versatile defensive replacement, although I'm not sure how his legs are holding up in the outfield these days after all of those years of grinding and punting and shaving with a two-guard razor. As long as that's all you're saying. As long as you don't mention --
...and can swing a mad stick still.
Shit.
...
...
...
Here we go. Erstad hasn't hit since 2000. His stick has been mad to the tune of 4, 0, 7, 7, 4, 10, and 9 home runs the last seven seasons. He hasn't OPS+ed over 100 since the pre-9/11 world.
The disappearance of Darin Erstad's maddening stickiness predates the War on Terror, motherfuckers!
And yet the plaudits still come his way. This guy should run for President of the Multiverse on the platform "I am LaserBulletproof."
Labels: darin erstad, punter
