Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Wednesday, May 07, 2008


Two Things

Times are slow in the sports metacommentary world. In lieu of more journo-evisceration, here are two tidbits about two of our favorite subjects, A-Rod and Juan Pierre.

First thing: thank you, Cynthia Rodriguez for fulfilling the media's dreams by revealing that A-Rod is incredibly unclutch even in real life.

"As tough and big as he seems, he is real wimpy around doctors or any type of medical situation," Cynthia Rodriguez said. "I was, like, not even having a baby; he was the one. The one nurse had a cold cloth on his head, the other nurse had the blood pressure on his arm and my mother was like rubbing his back -- and he is passed out on a couch.

"And I am there, in the middle of labor, and really, I am not being paid much attention to besides the doctor and a couple of nurses. And he is there, moaning. In between pushing, I am going, 'Honey, are you OK?' And are you breathing? Are you OK?'"

Derek Jeter, of course, regularly attends childbirths for fun and is a licensed obstetrician/gynecologist in twelve states. Delivered two of Mariano's kids -- without fancy medical tools. Just his hands, his calm eyes, his gut, and a shovel.

Second thing: Juan Pierre is reading FJM. Buster Olney explains:

Juan Pierre has always been an old-school free-swinger, someone who hacks first and asks questions later. But in the first five weeks of his season, there has been a dramatic change in Pierre.

"He's picking through pitches," said one talent evaluator. "I think with the competition going on" -- with four Dodgers outfielders competing for three spots -- "he had to re-think a little bit the way he was playing. In the time I've seen him, you can really see him trying to get on base, in a way that's different from in the past. There's a deliberate thought process going on there. His at-bats look different."

That's because they are different, so far. Entering Wednesday's game, Pierre is averaging 3.67 pitches per plate appearances, more than a quarter of a pitch better than the 3.40 pitches per plate appearance he averaged last year, and he is hitting .316, with a .388 on-base percentage. He's never had an on-base percentage of greater than .378.

So you're welcome, Juan, for inspiring you to change your approach and revitalize your career.

Next up: Bill Plaschke turns his back on Juan and accuses him of playing too much like a computer.

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posted by Junior  # 5:45 PM
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