FIRE JOE MORGAN: Dog Days of August


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Monday, August 11, 2008


Dog Days of August

Yes, it's true, we haven't been posting much in August. However:


I got nothing.

Here's a JoeChat. Short, for some reason, but it counts, people.

Joe Morgan: Seems like the tensions of the pennant races are starting to catch up with teams. Let's get started!

Ken Tremendous: I would have just been so delighted if he had written:

Seems like the tensions of the pennant races are starting to catch up with teams. Let's get retarded!

Sadly, he won't hear that stupid song for about 10 more years, because it will take him that long to buy a tape player, and they no longer release albums on reel-to-reel.

Matt (Philly): Hey Joe, loved seeing you play in Philly. Who do you think wins the NL East?

Joe Morgan:
No one can predict that yet,

Anyone can predict that. They might not be correct, but anyone can predict it. Especially someone paid to, essentially, predict things.

but I believe if Rollins starts playing close to his MVP form then the Phillies will win. The Mets play well, but then they get one injured part and they seem to fall apart, but that goes for the Phillies too.

So...that analysis is kind of a wash, then?

But the Phillies have proven they can win on the road, while the Mets and Marlins struggle more on the road. [...]

True...but the Phillies are only 5 games over .500 at home, which seems like it kind of neutralizes the road thing. (They're 3-2 at home since this chat took place, meaning they were only 4 games over .500 when he wrote it.)

Seth (Hershey, PA):
Hey Joe. Do the Yankees have any chance of making the playoffs if Joba is out a while? Thanks

Joe Morgan:
I think they would still have a chance because I think they would find another starter.

...find him where? Like, there's a starter somewhere in their clubhouse that they didn't know about? Like he's been hiding in Melky Cabrera's locker?

Remember, the Yanklees

Awesome "[sic]". I don't know why that typo tickles me, but it does.

still have a great lineup, and it would have to win games for them...which it can do. If I can put runs on the board, it will make my pitcher more comfortable, so I believe in lineups.

I believe in them, too, Joe. I believe.

The Yankees have a very good lineup.

Multiple Emmys. Multiple.

Todd (Philly): Joe - your best guess - does Milwaukee fold in light of what happened last night? Seems to be a yearly trend (i.e. folding) which must also be concerning....

Joe Morgan:
Well what happened last night will not have an affect as to whether they fold or not. Things happen during a season, and that is not the first or last time something like that has happened between teammates. I heard someone say it was a good thing, but I do not think it is ever good to fight your teammates since it divides the clubhouse, as different guys take different sides. But I do not think it will affect whether or not they fold.

I'm going to hand it to Joe on this one. The BrewCrew are undefeated since this chat. Hindsight is 20-13 (like Ted Williams's actual vision), so it's easy to say this, but I think this is the kind of analysis that actually allows the guy to shine. Relatively speaking.

Neal (Providence RI):
Now that the Angels have picked up Teixiera do you think they are a great team (like your old Reds teams)? Deep starters, shut down bullpen, hitters that go for power, avg, can bunt...sounds good to me

Joe Morgan's Brain: Stay cool. Stay calm. Just give a regular answer. Then, purchase a plane ticket to whatever "Providence RI" is. Find Neal. Shadow him in a dark trench coat. When he is alone, pounce. Hold a knife to his throat. Show him a team picture of the 1975 Reds. Say something like, "This is a team. These men are champions. No one will ever compare, you son of a bitch." Slit his throat. Change clothes, burn them, get back on the plane, fly home...before anyone knows you're gone.

Joe Morgan:
Well I will not compare them to my Reds team, because my Reds team, in my opinion, was an All-Time great and we do not know that about the Angels yet. But I do think the addition makes them the World Series favorite because of everything you said. But they have not won yet, so I cannot compare them on that level.

Joe Morgan's Brain: Well done. Now enact the plan. Wrap this up.

Joe Morgan:
Going back to the Brewers incident, I thought Ned Yost did a very good job handling it with the media and keeping it under wraps. Once you start talking, it opens up a can of worms. Sorry for some of the technical problems in the middle of the chat. We'll chat again next week.

Sadly, Neal will not be around to see it.

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