FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over.
You can still e-mail dak,Ken Tremendous,Junior,Matthew Murbles, or Coach.
In the Oct. 13 The Sporting News, somebody put together a panel of 16 former major-league shortstops and asked them some questions.
First I'll list the 16: Biancalana, Bordick, Burleson, DeJesus, DeMaestri, Elster, Foli, Fregosi, Harrelson, Joost, Kasko, Kubek, Larkin, Maxville, Menke and Petrocelli.
Second, the relevant question on the table: "Jeter or A-Rod?"
Survey said:
Jeter 11 Too close to call 3 A-Rod 2
And with it runs a quote from Menke: "A-Rod will end up breaking some records, but Jeter is a winner."
Interesting. I have just conducted my own survey. The question on the table: Biancalana, Bordick, Burleson, DeJesus, DeMaestri, Elster, Foli, Fregosi, Harrelson, Joost, Kasko, Kubek, Larkin, Maxville, Menke, Petrocelli or Logic and Reason?
I think everyone pretty much knew where I was going with that right from the beginning, which is why it delighted me to actually type it out and make you read it.
Back to
Many people reported this quote from Fire Joe Morgan favorite Joe Morgan, but Rob C. is the one I happened to flag, so he gets all the credit and the rest of you can suck it:
Just driving home from work with ESPN radio's call of the game on. Morgan talking about Beltran's great playoff performance in '03:
"I read an interesting article that talked about how scouts will look at a player's performance in postseason games to see how his mental makeup is, if he can handle playing under pressure. I think that makes sense to a degree, but you can't put too much weight into it, because we all know that the playoffs are a very small sample size. You don't want to put all your marbles in one basket."
I almost drove off the road.
This really does make me feel as though something has been accomplished, somewhere, by someone(s). However, lest you think for one second that Mr. Morgan has come to his senses in like a large-picture worldview kind of way, peruse this little beauty from just the other day, sent in by 1.4 million of you, quoted here from Clark:
Joe Morgan just did a location spot during which he asserted -- repeatedly -- that "they [Red Sox] cannot beat them [Rays] by outscoring them."
And here I'd thought that was the *only* way to win a game.
Oh, Clark. You silly man. There are plenty of ways to win baseball games. Outscoring your opponent...not un-outscoring them...doing the un-opposite of not un-outscoring them...the list goes on.
Alexander points us to a special video presentation here at Gallimaufry Time, which includes Matt Stairs and what can only be described as unfortunate phraseology:
"You want to rephrase that, Matt?" "Yes, I do. Ahem. When you get that nice celebration coming in the dugout, and you're getting your weiner diddled by the guys--" "Okay, thanks. That's enough."
And now, a special Golf Note, from Chad, who, after a lengthy and kind series of compliments about our site, writes:
A note from the Ryder Cup: Johnny Miller stated, "the US will miss Tiger, as he is one of the two greatest clutch putters of all time. The other being Jack."Guess who is in the top 5 in career putting statistics. Yup, Tiger and Jack. The fact that they are better tee to green than anyone else AND were/ are great putters is why they are the two greatest GOLFERS of all time! They had more chances to make "clutch" putts because their long games gave them more opportunities. They made more "clutch" putts because they are GREAT putters! Remove the word clutch from Johnny's statement and it is true.
Clutch is bullshit! Tiger and Jack have made more non-clutch putts, too! Once again, because they are great putters!
I digress. Thank you again for your work. I thoroughly enjoy it!
Now, you might be thinking, "How did this mildly interesting note about golf make it into the Gallimaufry?!" I'll tell you why. Because at the end it says:
Sent from my iPhone
That is insane. Chad typed that whole thing on his iPhone, people. Including the all-caps words. And not one single typo. It probably took him eleven hours. That's dedication.
As long as we're going multi-media today, here are the Built Ford Tough Keys to the Game from NLCS Game 3, sent in by Daniel:
Phillies: Win this game too, like you won the other games, at the other place Dodgers: Try to do the things you did 6 weeks ago, when you won a baseball game
I like the idea that "Remember August 30!" is a "Remember the Maine!"-style battle cry for Dodger fans.
Sporting freshly trimmed, thick braids for the NLCS, Ramirez went 2-for-4. Not quite the torrid hitting the Dodgers were used to from him since he joined the team...
Finally, we close with some more bad news for Mets fans. Here's your new manager, on the first day of his new deal, talking about how to take his team to the next level:
On his first full day as the Mets' long-term manager, Manuel forcefully attacked the SABR-type mathematical analysis some have fixated on in recent years.
"You get so many statistical people together, they put so many stats on paper, and they say, well, if you do this and you score this many runs, you do that many times, you'll be in the playoffs," he said.
"That's not really how it works, and that's what we have to get away from. And that's going to have to be a different mind-set of the team in going forward. We must win and we must know how to win rather than win because we have statistical people. We have to win because we have baseball players that know and can understand the game."
Congratulations to the Phillies, for winning the 2008 NL Pennant. Congratulations to the 2009 Phillies, Braves, Nationals, and Marlins, for all of the easy victories you will have over the 2009 Mets.
Of course, I'm talking about the State Farm Home Run Derby and alternative post-grunge southern rockers 3 Doors Down.
Gotcha! It turns out that combination is an unmitigated disaster! I was really talking about:
Here's how it works: I supply the Gallimaufry, you get hammered. Shot clock violation!
Let's kick it off with a tip from reader Zach G., who points us in the direction of CBSSports.com's Scott Miller. Scott has made some interesting choices for his Anti-All Star Team: Shortstop: Jose Reyes, Mets.
He's got talent. He's got speed. He's got pizzazz. He's also got an infuriating case of immaturity.
I'd say he's got talent, speed, pizzazz, and an acute case of the 2nd highest OPS among shortstops. This guy is the opposite of an all-star? Jose Reyes?
Sure, his numbers are respectable. But this guy has the tools to be great. And he won't put out to get there.
Put out? I don't know, maybe it's not so crazy. Maybe Reyes should try letting some 16 year-old dudes feel him up at Siobhan's party next Friday night.
Dude. There's going to be so much Zima.
I was there in Anaheim when he threw a colossal fit on the field when interim manager Jerry Manuel removed him from the game as a precautionary measure to protect a mildly strained hamstring. It was the worst thing I've seen on the field since Jose Guillen threw a similar fit years ago while playing for the Angels.
And, sure, why not. I'll throw down the race card again. Why doesn't wanting to play so bad that he's willing to throw a fit about it garner him "gamer" status? Why are guys like Milton Bradley, Carl Everett, and Jose Reyes all considered "hotheads" or whatever while jerks like Paul O'Neill are applauded for their fiery style?
Speak of the devil...
Right field: Paul O'Neill, Yankees.
Yes, the comeback of the year! Anybody who has seen O'Neill at The Stadium in his broadcasting capacity this summer will tell you the guy looks like he still can play. Certainly, he has a high enough opinion of himself to give it a whirl.
So, one thing that Scott Miller and I have in common with not only each other but also every single person alive on the planet is that we hate Paul O'Neill.
But this is crazyballs. He doesn't play baseball anymore, so why is he on Scott Miller's Anti All-Star list?
The most asinine occurrence of the year came in April, when Yankees fans were giving it to reliever LaTroy Hawkins because he was wearing O'Neill's old No. 21. Nobody had worn it since Paulie, but because Hawkins' first choice was one of a zillion numbers the Yankees had retired, he had to pick another. So he attempted to honor Roberto Clemente ... and Yankees fans reacted as if he had dumped manure during the Pope's visit.
O'Neill, of course, had the perfect venue to make life easier for a new Yankee: the airwaves. He could have stepped up and urged fans to welcome Hawkins. Instead, O'Neill said he found it sort of surprising that someone was wearing his number. Strange to see his old number warming up in the bullpen, O'Neill said.
I feel sick in a way that I never quite have before. I have a headache that feels like it starts in my ears and then goes all the way down my spine, and my stomach feels like it's going to eat itself. It's not because of Scott Miller's writing, but because of the position he's put me in: I now have to defend Paul O'Neill.
O'Neill said that it seemed strange to him to see his old number warming in the bullpen, and for this act alone, Scott Miller is willing to overlook the fact that he doesn't even play baseball anymore and put him on a list of Anti All-Stars. Truly amazing.
Oh, and of course:
Third base: Alex Rodriguez, Yankees.
Let's just keep the 'maufry moving, shall we. Hey -- chug that shit! This is G+L time, remember?
Reader Tristan decided to subject to himself to the horror that is "1st and Ten" this morning. And for making such a decision, he got what he deserved. Garbage...and Nelly:
I have to admit I haven't been watching the whole show, but I flipped to it and saw the guest they have to match wits with Skip today is Nelly. I kept it on to see what he would say, and he actually threw out some decent, stat backed analysis of the Cardinals race to catch the Cubs.
"I think we can catch the Cubs. The point is, I think, will we have enough offense down the stretch to catch the Cubs. I think our pitching is where it is, I think our ERA right now is around 4.18, I think when we won the world series it was around, like, 4.5, so I think right now we can, but we're overachieving..." (A little more talk about picking up a bat to protect Pujols)
Skip's turn to talk (I tivo'd back to get it right):
"I hope you're right because I have been driving your bandwagon since opening day, cause there's something about this club I like, and I can't really do it statistically on paper, but there's some spirit, some character, someTHING going on there. And by the way, Tony LaRussa should be the first half manager of the year in all of baseball..."
Nelly (primary jobs: Rapping, acting)- Knows the Cardinals ERA, doesn't specifically mention Pythag, but I'd like to think that's what he was referring to when he says the Cards are overachieving.
Skip (primary job: sportswriter)- Can't do anything specifically on paper, attributes the Cardinals success to "something" going on there.
I understand tomorrow Woody Paige will be debating T. Pain on the merits of Schilling's case for the HOF.
People. There are seven members of the ESPN staff currently announcing the Home Run Derby. If that's not reason to drink, I don't know what is. (I guess maybe if your wife just left you or something? Seriously, though -- seven people? And one of them is Rick Reilly?)
Finally tonight -- you guessed it. More Adam Dunn bashing! This time reader Derek wants us to join in on the misery of reading John Fay's reporting on the Reds.
Four of their highest-paid, most experienced players are having bad years. Among Griffey, Adam Dunn, Aaron Harang and Bronson Arroyo, none is having even a mediocre year.
Forget the other guys -- I don't even care. We all love Adam Dunn here at FJM and we're not afraid to admit it. He gives us the kind of Three True Outcomes boner that's getting harder and harder to find in this post-steroids "emphasis on fundamentals" bullshit era that is so much less exciting and awesome than the days when everyone did a ton of drugs and hit the ball 4,000 feet and you didn't even have to worry about explaining to people about why it's stupid to bunt because it was never even an issue because for crissakes even your catcher could hit 30 home runs a year because he was doing things to his body that were making him better at baseball but of course god forbid people who play baseball should be allowed to do things that make them better at baseball --
Sorry. You're the ones who are supposed to getting drunk. I'm the 'mauf man. Apologies.
Adam Dunn is having a better than mediocre year. You all know this. He is doing the two things that are most important for hitters very well: getting on base (380 OBP) and hitting the ball hard (538 SLG). Unfortunately, John Fey has found someone to agree with him in his assessment that Dunn's year is -- again, remember this -- not just not great, but not even mediocre.
"That's a fair assessment," Baker said. "You pay attention to them because they're big guys. They're the highest-salary guys."
Good job, Dusty.
Our hearts continue to go out to the fine people of Cincinnati, who will have no choice but to drown their sorrows in Graeter's Ice Cream and Skyline Chili until DB steps down. If all four were close to their average big-league numbers, the Reds probably would be right in the thick of the National League Central race.
Adam Dunn, career averages: 247 / 381 / 521
Adam Dunn, 2008: 228 / 380 / 528
Alright. You're drunk. And I've always been a huge Mike Gallego fan, and he's pitching in tonight's derby. So time for me to tune in.
For some reason, Mark Zuckerman's inclusion of Adam Dunn on his all-overpaid list (see post sub) really set your collective teeth a-rattlin'. Let's go to the phones.
Mark sez:
As a Nats fan, just wanted to let you know that Zuckerman is not the only beat reporter in town that is wrong on Dunn. It's unfortunate since I don't like to read the Times for anything, but I think the Post beat writer made an even less defensible comment in his weekly chat a few weeks back. It went like this:
Chico Harlan:My gut: Not the right guy for this team. He needs a small ballpark and a lineup where others don't strike out much.
That's concentrated insanity. It's a month old but I just wanted to point out both papers will be great sources of Dunn-related hilarity should he hit the mark.
Good. Just what we need.
Joshua sticks up for Carlos Beltran:
A) Beltran is not a "solid, at times really good outfielder." He is a very good outfielder with great range and a decent arm.
B) He *is* providing more than 12 HR and a .270 average, he's providing a .370 OBP despite having some poor luck with the bat this year (.289 BABIP well less than what you'd expect from his 20.3% line drive rate; everyone who's watched the Mets this year recognizes that he's had a disproportionate number of hard-hit balls go right at fielders).
C) And he's on pace for 40 doubles and 6 triples (both would be the highest he's had for the Mets) and ~110 RBI (for those who think RBI are a meaningful barometer of a player's performance).
D) And he steals bases at the highest success rate of anyone ever.
I mean... come on. For the past two seasons he's been the best fielding CF (Andruw Jones's range just isn't what it used to be) and the best hitting CF in the National League. Sorry, it's just that the constant Beltran-bashing is one of my pet peeves. Too many people are simply unwilling to forgive him for making the last out of the 2006 NLCS and nothing he does will ever be good enough for those people.
I think I remember reading that the rough expected BABIP is Line Drive% + 120 (someone verify?). So Beltran's should be more like .320, based on his LD%, which means it is very likely his average climbs in the next few months. Fantasy nerds, take note.
Here's a good addendum from Brint:
Not to belabor the point, but Captain Jeter is making 21.6 million this year for a whopping 96 OPS+. Beltran, at the least, is playing good defense, and has a 128 OPS+, good enough for 5th among all center fielders.
Succinct and damning. Ian's version of the same point reads thusly:
Lugo pretty much sucks, and is getting paid over $9 million to hit .269/.359/.338. That's pretty bad. However, down I-95 a bit is another SS getting paid over $21 million to hit .280/.340/.388. I think this guy (I don't have to mention his name, do I?) is a bit more overpaid than Lugo, don't you?
Leena sez:
I loathe when people demean Adam Dunn's power simply because he plays at GAB.
If you're curious, check out home run distances at http://www.hittrackeronline.com/. Dunn has led all of baseball in "No Doubt" HR's the past 2 seasons. And averages nearly 410 feet per HR. Dunn would hit for power in any ballpark.
Yes. This is not a Derek Jeter opposite-field 320-foot pop fly HR situation. This is a dude who hits moonshots.
Barron digs in on another part of Zuckerman's article we didn't even touch:
Don't forget that the guy is bagging on Ray Durham for being "a shell of his former self and certainly doesn't fit in with the Giants' rebuilding mode."
Dude's OBP'ing .382 right now. His splits are .290/.382/.403, for an OPS+ of 109. The Giants are bereft of talent anywhere in their farm system, so he's not even blocking someone. Even if he [were], they could shift Durham to 1B and bench banjo-hitting Rich Aurilia.
Another possible 2B candidate, from the same division, is Jeff Kent, who is currently .257/.302/.406 (83 OPS+), and makes $1.5M more than Durham. Way to put the nose to the research grindstone, Zuck.
Moving off Zuckerman, here's Chad with an update from BBTN:
Fernando Vina, in the 'Bold Predictions' part of Baseball Tonight this evening, proposed that Brett Meyers will have the best ERA in the NL in the second half of the season, and be the most effective pitcher. That prediction is bad enough, but his reasons were:
1) Brett Meters was, at the ages of 10 and 12, a boxer. And because of this, would 'attack his problems'. 2) The Phillies need him.
Is boxing the next football in excusing bad/mediocre baseball players?
I hope so. I'd like to hear stories about David Eckstein wanting to be in the UFC when he was a kid.
Anthony keeps his ever-vigilant watch over the YES Network***:
Just caught a silly little moment during the top of the seventh of the Yankee game on YES. It went like this:
(Camera shows crowd doing the wave.) Michael Kay (practically screaming): The Bleacher Creatures will not take part in such nonsense. Wait until it reaches them; they won't stand up. Watch. (Bleacher Creatures do the wave.) ... (Ten seconds of silence.) ... Michael Kay: This'll be the ninth pitch of the at bat...
Nobody ever -- ever! -- admits being wrong. Being in baseball broadcasting means never having to say you're sorry. Finally, here's a quick note from Bob.
"This guy is tough on lefties," Baker said. "[Adam] Dunn has been pretty good [against Maholm] and Griff hasn't. I'm just trying to find a way to get some right-handers in there. Griff will be back in there tomorrow. The guy tomorrow, [Zach Duke], has been tough on Dunn. Jerry [Hairston] and [Jeff] Keppinger are just getting their strokes together, and [so is] Edwin [Encarnacion]."
A closer look at the numbers, however, and that reasoning didn't add up. Dunn came in 3-for-22 (.136) lifetime against Maholm. Griffey was 5-for-18 (.278) with one home run. Against Duke, Dunn is 5-for-9 (.556) and Griffey is 1-for-6 (.167).
Once again, for those of you out there who own or operate or comment on baseball teams: you can't just say whatever you want and claim it's true. You need to look stuff up. This is the manager of a team! Just blindly asserting stuff! That isn't true! For the second time in a week!
***I am now getting multiple reports that the Bleacher Creatures did not, in fact, do the wave. If true, I wholeheartedly apologize to Mr. Kay and everyone associated with the YES Network. Except Paul O'Neill, whom I just can't stand.
First off, reader Joseph Z. -- just to be sure, reader Joseph M. Z. -- reminds us that Dusty Baker is still a crazy person:
"Junior has given a lot to this game and this city," Baker said. "You go look at his body and his injury list, and he's left a lot of bones, muscles, tendons and ligaments out on that field. You dig up that field, and there's a lot of Junior bones in it."
What a weird fucking way to make a point. You guys, I'm not doing anything tomorrow night. Anybody want to go look at Ken Griffey Junior's body and injury list?
Interesting side note: if you do dig up the Junior bones under the outfield of the Funtimes USA Ballpark, Carl Everett will insist that those bones were merely put there to test us, and that Ken Griffey Jr. has in fact never existed.
Mauf with their heads!
Jeff B., hit my shit:
In case nobody has notified you guys yet, it appears the idea of the "base-clogger" has taken root among the MLB scouting bureau itself. Check out these official scouting reports on a few top prospects in last week's draft: Yonder Alonso; Eric Hosmer; Petey Paramore.
I'm sure there are plenty more, but these are a few among the biggest names in the draft. These reports raise a few questions. What is the cutoff speed between cloggers and non-cloggers? What "instincts" does Alonso have that keep him from being a clogger? Do Hosmer and Paramore have bad instincts on the basepaths? Does Alonso take a running start two seconds before the pitcher delivers? Could the folks at MLB.com really not find any better scouting reports than these to post on the web?
Really, no. They couldn't. It's only the official site of Major League Baseball. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Several of you have written us about this unholy nightmare of a column from that most preeminent source of revisionist SABR-related material: The Huffington Post.
Wherever Cliff Floyd goes, his teams win. Not only do they win, they turnaround. It's as if before Floyd got there not only weren't they winning but his teams appeared to have little idea how to win...It's not like Floyd carries his teams. He's typically not the best player. It's something about his presence that does it.
We don't think is a joke, but you can never be sure. Dave Hollander says the 2008 Rays, the 2007 Cubs, the 2003 Mets, and the 1997 Marlins all have Cliff Floyd to thank for their success. I'm not exaggerating -- read the article. It's hysterical.
Would it be worth having a discussion with this guy? A discussion that turned into an argument? Almost everyone reading this website thinks the answer is something like "coincidence" or "just because they played for multiple good teams doesn't mean they have the power to lift their teammates' performance any more so than tens of thousands of ballplayers in the history of sport." In the other corner, Dave Hollander thinks Cliff Floyd is a demigod. How do you even start a dialogue?
The piece ends with more nonsense from Rays' skipper Joe Maddon:
Tampa Bay skipper Joe Maddon told MLB.com that Floyd's dramatic homer sent his jubilant Rays rushing onto Tropicana Field, but the celebration didn't erupt until Floyd got to home plate.
"They were waiting on Cliff Floyd ... and that really stood out for me -- what they think of him," Maddon said. "Cliff from the very first day I met him, among the position players, he had that influence."
Following a walk-off tater, when have you ever seen a team "erupt" in celebration before the dude gets to home plate? This article designed to convince me that Cliff Floyd is a special kind of player has only reaffirmed my belief that he is almost exactly like every other baseball player. I hate people.
Finally, Brian R. made a nice point about Jay Bruce, who I was pretty enamored with following his small sample size quote. Lest we get too excited...
Of course, he also said, "There's only one Ken Griffey."
(Yes, I know what he meant, but I still laughed at that.)
Counterpoint from reader Kurt R. on MLB.com's base-clogging scouting reports:
i have to take exception to jeff b taking exception to the base-clogging references in the mlb scouting reports. in those reports, that term is used specifically to refer to those players' base running abilities and not some general indictment of their offensive value. this is way different than dusty baker expressing a preference that his slower players not draw walks or whatever it is that goes thru his addled head. obviously the importance of base running as a skill pales in comparison to actually getting on base to begin with ... but it does matter.
A few of you have written in to nominate Robin Ventura's famous "walk-off grand slam single" as an answer to the "when have you ever seen a team 'erupt'..." question.
It's back again. And here's what we definitively learned from day one of the 2008 MLB Season: Nothing, dummies. It's a small sample size.
So instead, let's gallimaufry it up.
Several readers sent us to this article, which contains many of my least favorite words:
The Blue Jays felt like they needed an infusion of gritty players, the type who can spell the difference between winning and losing in tight games, and they believe they've added those pieces in third baseman Scott Rolen and free agent shortstop David Eckstein.
Rolen is going to cost them $12m this year, and he's already out for a few weeks with a screw in his finger. He turns 33 in a few days, and has played in 310 games in the last three seasons. But: he's gritty. Boy oh boy, is he gritty.
Eckstein is: Eckstein.
"When they take the field, they're both always on the ground," Gibbons said.
That's how fucking professional these dudes are. They obey the laws of gravity no matter what.
"They give us a toughness that I think we need."
They -- the left side of your infield -- will give you 800 AB combined and 15 homers, if you are lucky. (Did I mention Rolen had 8 HR in 112 games last year?)
Wells, Toronto's star center fielder, likes the idea of having Eckstein drive opposing pitchers batty with his knack for fouling off pitches, making contact and getting on base out of the leadoff spot.
For the ever-growing record, Eck saw an average of 3.64 pitches per AB last year, tying him for 317th on the list of all NLers with, among others, notorious hacker Jacque Jones. N.B. that fucking Roy Oswalt had a 3.76. You want a lead-off guy to see a lot of pitches and drive 'em batty -- go with Roy.
The proverbial five tools for position players -- hitting for average, hitting for power, defense, arm and speed -- are covered throughout the survey [of MLB scouts], in one way or another.
Only one player really scored high in all of the above: Ichiro.
Really. Hitting for power. Huh.
Ichiro career: 67 HR in 4782 AB.
The panel of scouts rated him tops in all of MLB in the categories of Best Hitter, Best Bat Control, Best Outfielder, Best Arm and Best Baserunner. He also rated second in the categories of Best Bunter, Fastest Runner and Best Basestealer.
He also won Best Personality, Best Dancer, Girls' Choice for Brother, and Cutest Stubble. He is tearing things up at Central High, people! Rumor has it, this saucy little import has grabbed the heart of none other than Clarissa Prettyface -- Cheer Captain and Improbable Virgin -- and he is not letting go! But what will happen when her boyfriend Jock Fisterson finds out?
"You could put Ichiro down for almost everything -- best arm, best outfielder (when he wants to be), best basestealer, best hitter, and he could hit 50 home runs if he wanted to, but he'd rather get his 220 hits and bat .330," said one scout.
You guys don't get it. He's awesome. If Ichiro wanted to, he could play basketball and probably be like the best ever. So I voted for him for 2-guard in the NBA All-Star Game this year. He could fucking fly if he wanted to. That's why I put him down for "Best Bird Imitator." If Ichiro felt like it, he could totally discover important things about gamma ray bursts, which is why I voted for him for the Cal Tech Fellowship in High-Energy Astrophysics.
[Extreme side note. While poking around the internet looking at gamma ray burst articles and black hole articles and things -- part of my mandatory mom's basement/nerd study program -- I came across this article, which discusses the High Energy Astrophysics Division (HEAD) of the American Astronomical Society (AAS).
HEAD-AAS.
Why would you acronym yourselves to make HEAD-AAS?" What bunch of ass-faces.]
Diversion over. Let's take some mail, shall we? Edward writes:
In case you missed it, here's how David "I'm scrappy and pesky, and I should have gotten a 3-year deal for it" Eckstein's evening went:
1st inning: 0-1 count, lead-off groundout, setting up his team nicely with the first out.
3rd inning: Lead-off strikeout on 4 pitches, see 1st inning.
5th inning: With runners on 1st and 3rd and no outs. 1-1 count, grounds out to 1st, runner from 3rd doesn't score, though the runner on 1st does advance to 2nd.
7th inning: Runner on 3rd, 2 out. First-pitch ground-out to 3rd.
It must be said that he fielded his position flawlessly. But he did not remotely do his job as the lead-off hitter. 0-for-4, averages 2.5 pitches per at-bat, doesn't get the ball out of the infield.
Fun with small sample sizes. A lot of fun.
Adam writes:
The other day Steve Phillips said (this is a rough quote, the number is what is important): "The Detroit Tigers and Boston Red Sox could both score 1,000 runs this season."
The sheer stupidity of the statement is incredible. Now obviously anybody could score 1,000 runs in a season. Since 1900, however, only 7 teams have scored 1,000 runs in a season, with the modern-day record being 1,067 by the 1931 Yankees. Teams that have scored 1,000 runs in a season:
New York Yankees - 1,062 (1930), 1,067 (1931), 1,002 (1932), 1,065 (1936)
St. Louis Cardinals - 1,004 (1930)
Boston Red Sox - 1,027 (1950)
Cleveland Indians - 1,009 (1999)
PECOTA has the Sox at 838 runs this season and the Tigers at 849. I'm going to say neither hits 1000 (though that does seem low for the Tigers). This probably goes in the category of Crazy Things ESPN Analysts Say to Pique People's Interest in Early April, like when Krukie said RJ would win 30 games.
Michael writes in about this article from the way-back machine:
This is old, and I don't know what you can do with this, but my God out of nowhere Time Magazine talks about: Matsui's love of porn, how he trades it with the Japanese media and what a horny guy he is. How did this not instantly become something everyone heard?
Here's the relevant snippet:
Indeed, his only eccentricity, if it can be called that, is his extensive private library of adult videos. His refreshing ability to laugh self-deprecatingly about his porno collection, reporters say, is one reason why fans and even nonfans have taken to him so much. Says former reporter Isao Hirooka: "Hideki just wants to be like ordinary people."
Ordinary people do love porn. He might have us on this one, guys.
We have just scratched the surface here, but I'm afraid I will have to stop for now. I'm attending a meeting of HEAD-AAS later, and I want to make sure I'm sharp.
I saw the Improbable Virgins open for Husker Du at La Luna in Portland (OR) back in '94.
Pretty great show all in all, although they mostly played stuff from The Mostly Nowhere EP. Also closed with a cover of "Psycho Killer" which was downrighht enjoyable.
I'm kind of in the zone right now, posting-wise, so let's keep it going with a little thing we like to call:
Tim writes in and sez:
Just read your comments on Woody Paige's column about the Hall of Fame and had to point 1 thing out. The "Primarily a DH" comment concerning Jim Rice irks me. Paige is making a claim without bothering to look up anything to support it.
Jim Ed played 1543 games in the OF and 530 as a DH. In fact, he had only 3 seasons in which he played DH in more games than he played the OF. 1989 when he only played 55 games, all as the DH. 1988 when he was 35 years old and past his prime, and 1977 when the other OF options were Lynn, Evans, and Yaz. Between 1980 and 1987, Rice played an astounding 41 games as a DH.
This took me 2 seconds to look up, but I guess what Woody Paige recalls about the last 2 years of Rice's career is more important than what really happened.
I would have been ok if he had just said... he never lived up to his potential, or his career was over by the time he was 34, or even ... he was a poor defensive OFer, but he went with... he was primarily a DH.
To put Rice's designated hitting in perspective, Paul Molitor played 1174 out of 2683 career games as a DH... but his hands were just so damn quick.
Thanks, Tim. I wish I had done that research. But I did not. And that's why I love the invention of the
We'll keep things going with Trey. This one is very important, so pay attention:
Just to add to the Eckstein discussion, I was the sports editor at the University of Florida when Eckstein played and I think you might reevaluate his scrappiness once you realize how many times he was hit by pitch in his collegiate career -- a school record 41 times! As I recall, he led the NCAA as a Senior and had a shot at the all-time Div. I record, but didn't quite make it.
I can't seem to verify any of this since this was just on the verge of the Internet being a useful historical tool and even now I can't really find NCAA records ... but I am certain we ran a particularly adorable cartoon with a caricature of cute lil' Eck taking a pitch in his tiny bird-sized chest and tumbling down with the caption Hitting the Deck(stein) or something like that. Even now, I can't decide the best way to punctuate that particular play on words. (Just found some UF stats -- Eck was HBP 25 times in 64 games in 1997.)
First off, I love this email very much. I love that people were ironically onto how "scrappy" Eckstein is, as far back as 1996. Second of all, I very much desire a copy of this cartoon. If anyone out there has a copy -- as unlikely as that may be -- I beg of you to scan it and email it to me forthwith. In return, you will receive a personal email from me, commending you for your duty and service in the name of American Freedom, as well as the knowledge that a crappy print-out of it will hang over my desk at Fremulon Insurance, Inc. as long as I am alive and working there.
But enough about Fremulon Insurance, Inc. Let's keep things moving with more of the
Stan asks:
Is that you in that Joe-Morgan-buying-a-beer-and-a-dog video? You're old.
No, it is not me. That is my son, Ken Jr. I am much older.
Justin chimes in on the Bob Elliott/NAMBLA David Eckstein Fluff(er) Piece:
I also especially like that when talking about how MLB needs to be cleaned up and have its image improved, Elliott then compares Eckstein to.... Pete Rose, one of the few men ever completely banned from baseball. Well-done, Bob.
Yey verily, love of Eckstein is a corruptive force. Besides melting men's hearts, L'il Eck will sometimes melt their minds, in a Death in Venice kind of way.
The Allan Ryan post, wherein he typed "David Eckstein scrappy" into Google and then wrote that fact into his article, let to a flurry of similar experiments. First, Andrew:
In light of your recent post, I typed in "Alex Rodriguez Scrappy" to google, and it gave me the following results:
Results 1 - 10 of about 59,000 for alex rodriguez scrappy (0.27 seconds)
That's more than 10 times as many results, and for whatever ridiculous reason, it's faster, too.
Telling. Now we have Nicholas:
Just thought I would let you know I googled "David Eckstein crappy" and I got 11,900 possible hits in 0.31 seconds. So not only is it lazy journalism for using scrappy, he hasn't even investigated all possibilities...
Get on that, journalists. I want a google search result for all like 10^72 possible results of "David Eckstein" and any other combination of letters.
James chimes in with a question that elegantly allows us to use the coveted "Food Metaphors" label:
I'm not entirely sure what the etymology of the word "scrappy" is. It has two meanings, one of which is "made of scraps" which I suppose could describe David Eckstein since he looks like the Good Lord made him out of the leftovers from real adults, but I think when the sportswriters use it they generally mean he's a fighter. I'm not sure, but I'd wager that this meaning of scrappy comes from a willingness of hungry people to fight over small scraps of food. Food metaphor?
My Condensed O.E.D. has scrap as lME, and the resultant scrappy as chiefly North American, though the quote below scrappy is Thackeray: "There is a dreadfully scrappy dinner, the evident remains of a party." Interestingly -- or not, depending largely if you're even still reading this -- there is a N. Amer colloq. for "scrapper," which is "a fish that is hard to land once caught." This seems as apt a description of Eckstein's style of play as any.
The point is: food metaphor, definitely, for all of this.
Finally, let's end the with a message of hope from Benjamin:
FYI, a year or two ago I was quite drunk in the Wrigley Field bleachers at a Cubs/Cards game while David Eckstein was warming up in the outfield. I yelled "David Eckstein, you are scrappy!!!!" He laughed and pointed at me and all the other players laughed as well. So I think even he realizes how stupid this is.
On the one hand, I am pleased that Phil Mushnick has taken to slamming Joe Morgan every Monday in his New York Post column. On the other hand, I kind of feel like, hey, we got here first, man.
Joe Morgan remains relentless in providing expertly stated nonsense. Last night, during Mets-Cubs on ESPN, Luis Castillo stuck with a windblown popup, making a nice catch. But Morgan explained the play as the result of Castillo being unfamiliar with the winds in Wrigley Field because, “Castillo has played his entire career in the American League.”
But Castillo played 10 years in the NL, all with the Marlins. In fact, it was Castillo who hit the infamous fly that spectator Steve Bartman caught - before Moises Alou could - in the 2003 NLCS at Wrigley. Last season, with the Twins, was his first in the AL.
In the top of the fifth, Morgan’s partner, Jon Miller, noted that Castillo has played before in Wrigley. Morgan said nothing.
A number of people emailed about this yesterday, and if I hadn't been out house-hunting with Mrs. Tremendous I would have posted about it earlier.
Reader Noam writes in:
Just to add my own two cents to this: Morgan called the 1997 World Series for NBC, which Castillo played in, not to mention how many Sunday Night Baseball games the Marlins were in between 1996-2005 (when Castillo was a Marlin). Forget not watching other games to prepare. He doesn't watch the games he calls!!
That would be the natural conclusion, yes.
Since we're in mini-Gallimaufry mode, here's Bob on the Angels' game:
2 outs in the 8th and an Angel gets a hit.Steve Physioc (with fevered, boyscout enthusiasm): "That's the way to start the 8th!"
Simple, elegant, bone-brained: Physioc.
One more Joe-ism from Jason:
Joe talking about the Cubs defense and Ryan Theriot as SS...
"They also have Cesar Izturis here... but Theriot has won the job."
Well, I don't know if Izturis got the day off from the Pirates to go watch the Cubs-Mets game and that's what he meant (somehow I doubt it), but my guess is Morgan just doesn't know that Izturis ever got traded.
EDIT: Larry writes in to give Joe a much-needed shot in the arm:
As much as I love piling on Joe, I'm certain he said "had" and not "has" in relation to Izturis."
Either way, it's a wonder to behold, every Sunday night.
It is worth noting that not only did Joe make stuff up about Luis Castillo, but he also fancies himself a meteorologist. The comment about Castillo was only part of a larger gush on Castillo's knowledge of the wind in Wrigley. That knowledge, according to Joe, is that balls fouled off to right field at Wrigley always float back into play. Because... that's the way the wind blows.
I live in Chicago, two blocks from Wrigley field. I can assure you, the wind blows in a number of different directions.
It makes me queasy to align (philosophically) this blog with the New York Post -- a newspaper that was named "Worst Thing" in a recent survey of all things. However, Phil Mushnick, who wrote the article linked a few days ago about Joe Morgan's inexplicable insistence that his MLB debut occurred in a way that history and recording devices indicate it did not, has continued the battle today, and we must applaud the effort.
After you go read that article, come on back for:
A mini-Gallimaufry!
From Dallas:
Jack Wilson had a web gem on Baseball Tonight, and as it was being shown, Kurkjian said, "He's a good player. I don't know why the Pirates would want to get rid of him."
Well, Tim, aside from the fact that he's hitting .259/.308/.359, has an EQA of .240, and is going to earn $20.2 million over the next three years, I can't think of a single, solitary reason.
Tim Kurkjian frustrates me. I like his uber-nerd persona, and I like his "The last time a guy threw a six-hitter left-handed and had four sac bunts in one game was Lord Umberto Chammingsworth in 1859 in the Scottish Rounders Association" factoids. But sometimes...well, sometimes he says stuff about Jack Wilson.
Many of you enjoyed Jay Mohr's "What I Like About Sports" - slash - fascinating look back on American culture in the 1980's piece. You also pointed out about eleven stupid things I missed. Eric is so dedicated he brought visual aids:
I know trying to pick apart something Jay Mohr proposes is not exactly the highest calling in life, but I take exception to his theory that having pitchers bat in both leagues would lead to an increase in hitters being hit by pitches. Attached is a simple chart displaying quite an increase in HBP in both leagues following the introduction of the DH, and initially more in the AL following that change. While it is highly speculative to suggest causation in this case, I simply found it humorous how off-the-charts wrong Jay is.
Thanks, Eric. Pretty colors.
This might be my favorite gallimaufry item of the year. From Benjamin:
Joe Morgan thanked Frank Robinson for showing up in the announcers' booth to chat during tonight's Giants-Dodgers broadcast on ESPN. He then went on to say this, for everyone to see and hear:
"And I hope that when I retire I can get a job like yours where I'm paid to watch games!"
...A short pause. Berman then says, "You do that now, Joe!" Joe then cackles -- a madman's cackle. He knows he's not paid to watch games or analyze baseball. That would be insanity.
I'll Watch "Dead Poets Society" on TCM; You'll Do Our Work For Us
Hooray! Gallimaufry time! What better way to start the week?
Plenty of action for the Sunday night game on ESPN. Reader Colleen starts us off:
According to Joe Morgan, Adam Kennedy has "always been a great offensive player."
He has a career OPS+ of 89.
So true. So simple. Reader Evan L. noticed the same thing, but pointed instead to AK's .261 career EQA.
Maybe Joe meant: relative to all other human beings, Adam Kennedy has always been a great offensive player? As you may know, I like to give Joe the benefit of the doubt whenever possible.
Okay! Over on TCM, Charlie Dalton just changed his name to Nuwanda. And back at the FJM inbox, a number of readers noticed Joe Morgan's total misread of an ump's call on a stolen base attempt. We'll go with David S.'s version of events because he seemslike a good dude:
rolen steals 2nd, called safe, morgan says "easily safe" when crowd boos. they go to the replay that shows rolen CLEARLY out, morgan again says "easily safe." then they freeze it with rolen being tagged while nowhere near the bag, and both announcers are dead silent until the next pitch.
A quick pause to remind our dear readers that Gallimaufry is brought to you each and every week by Bacon Salt. Bacon Salt: Tastes like bacon...and salt!
Reader Mike mustered enough strength to listen to the voice of Suzyn Waldman, and for that, we congratulate him with a post of his observation:
During last night's Yankees broadcast, Waldman and John Sterling were talking about the possibility of Luis Vizcaino notching the win in both ends of the doubleheader. Sterling quipped that he could be the modern-day Wilbur Wood. This was Waldman's reply: "For those who don't know, Wilbur Wood used to start, and win, both ends of a doubleheader. A lot."
Only twice did Wood start both ends of a doubleheader. Never did he win both ends. In fact, in his most famous double-dip appearance, he took the collar two losses on the same day against the Yankees.
I just found out that Suzyn Waldman is from Newton, Massachusetts. Weird, right?
Also, say what you will about Mr. Keating's teaching methods. This guy really inspires his students. Sometimes you just gotta say "fuck the heck," right?
On with the 'maufry! Bruce Torres writes FJM to say:
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Okay, Bruce! Good to know.
Reader Matthew K. writes for no reason other than to add to the ever-growing list of Eckstein nicknames:
David Husslehoff
Sure. Why not. Add it to the list. I'd go with "Hustlehoff," maybe, but...oh fuck -- I think Robert Sean Leonard's character is about to kill himself.
Reader Rick N. has an interesting thought on the ongoing "Who's Now?" situation:
dude, who's now would be brilliant if it were advertised as satire.
dude, maybe.
Actually, nothing blew my mind more about the whole "Who's Now" thing than the fact that Barry Bonds lost in the first round. I know it was up to the voters, and not ESPN itself, but seriously: every Bonds at bat is televised by ESPN. He dominates the front page of ESPN.com. Pedro Gomez pops up every fifteen minutes to tell me whether or not Bonds made a doody. He's about to break the all-time HR record -- and he's less "now" than Jeff Gordon? I don't get it.
And lastly, Lt. J.J. K. points us to this take on Joe Morgan's relation to the Sheffield/Torre/RealSports nonsense.
I'm not sure exactly what to make of it, but the author certainly doesn't like Joe Morgan. And I like that!
"O Captain My Captain!" You tell 'em, Ethan Hawke's character!
Folks, let me tell you something about the insurance business. It's crazy. Incredibly unpredictable. Exhausting. Every day when you wake up, you don't know whether you'll be filling out a Wyoming Investigator's Traffic Accident Report, Code Sheet PR-802-A:
Anyway, what this insanity means, is that I don't get to spend as much time blogging as I would like. Fortunately, we have very dedicated readers, who send us links, quips, and comments. And from time to time, we cite them here, in a little segment we like to call: Gallimaufry Time!
The HR Derby led to some real gems. From btroup1:
Berman, Morgan, and Baker at the same table? Are you okay? Do I need to call a doctor?
Dusty: "My son wanted to go out there [to shag balls] but I told him he was too young." Where can I find a JT Snow .gif?
Here you go, buddy. I guess he wasn't too young then.
Daniel chimes in with a keen observation:
Is it me or does EVERYONE remind Joe Morgan of Ken Griffey Jr.? Rios,Holliday, the man selling hot dogs, everyone.
I, too, have noticed this phenomenon. "He reminds me of Ken Griffey, Jr." is to the JM arsenal what the Sherman Tank was to the Allies. It is rivaled only by "Willie Mays was the best player I ever saw" for sheer frequency of repetition.
David gets credit for citing my favorite moment:
Berman: Does it help [Holliday] that he plays three series here a year?
Joe: No, I don't think so. This is a home-run-hitting contest, not a...
[long pause]
...place where you get accustomed to the view, and so forth.
Excellent.
Many people have sent us the link to a brilliant FoxSports blog entry by Ed Hardiman, entitled: "Slobbermetrics, How [sic] Bill James and Math Nearly Destroyed Baseball." I began a lengthy post on this Pulitzer- and Mark Twain Prize-Winning article, and then decided it simply wasn't worth it. I will link it, in case you have not seen it and wish to waste two minutes of your life. For a fun home game, count how many commas are used inappropriately. And how many absolutely fucking terrible jokes he includes. This is the humor equivalent of anaesthesia-less knee surgery.
I sometimes feel bad for John Kruk. He is obviously uncomfortable on BBTN, and the producers make him argue things in which he does not believe. Tex5011 has no such sympathy:
The question was, "Who is the toughest out in the AL All-Star lineup?" Now, remember that this lineup features A-Rod, Jeter, and Ortiz. But Kruk's answer was Placido Polanco. There's a reason Polanco's batting eighth. Kruk, you are an idiot.
A quick glance at OBP lists will actually tell you who is the toughest out (Magglio-Ortiz-Vladdy-ARod, in that order). But Placido is only 6 OBP points behind Kenny Lofton.
Drew points us to a potential new target:
John Kincade, on his Sunday morning ESPN show, said:
"We don't need obscure, newfangled stats like OPS and WHIP to tell us who the best players are. We watch the games, we know who the best players are."
You make your list, I will make mine. Then we will have our teams play each other one million times. Mine will win.
I got a lot of feedback on the last Bruce Jenkins attack, mostly in re: the pitch count section. Some interesting points. Brett sez:
In a complementary sense, nobody can tally the list of "normal" young pitchers who lost effectiveness because of injuries (diagnosed or not) caused by managers ignorantly disregarding pitch counts. Because they became mediocre or worse and disappeared from the game. It's the classic statistical problem of survivorship bias. (People think the average hedge fund returns are X%, because they start today and work backwards and miss the funds that blew out a few years ago).
For every 1968 Bob Gibson you show me who pitched the beginning, middle and end of every triple header, I wish I could show you the legions of 60's pitchers who would have pitched longer and more effectively if they had been taken care of, but I can't because they're almost impossible to identify.
Well played, sir. Also well-played by Eric:
[Gibson] was indeed a once-in-a-generation freak. But by my reckoning, Bob Gibson was kinda sorta finished at age 36. His age 37-39 seasons were quite ordinary. Catfish Hunter is another oft-cited example [of innings-eating monsters]. He was done at 30.
So it would seem that the non-freak pitchers, i.e., the "majority of pitchers" would be cooked far earlier than 36. Now, I find nothing wrong with--altho I don't agree--the argument that its management's prerogative to choose to win a World Series or two with a couple of pitchers throwing 325 innings, shortening their careers in the process. But Jenkins doesn't make that argument.
I would say that Gibby's 37 year-old season was still pretty damn good. But he was no Clemens, or RJ, at 38-39-40... He wasn't even Curt Schilling at 39. Now, obviously he threw many more innings at crazy ERA+ before that age. But as for whether it's a good idea? As Brett says above, you can't look at the most successful example in history -- the extremest outlier -- in order to get a good look at the results of an experiment. This is equal to the burn-out child's claim that good grades do not matter, because "Einstein dropped out of school in like eighth grade!"
The most in-depth comments came from Richard, who challenged the claim that pitcher abuse can be measured most by the number of pitches over 100 in an individual outing. I based this link-less statement on a Baseball Prospectus article in "Baseball Between the Numbers." Richard got all up in it -- in a way I truly admired and respected, BTW -- and after much research sent me this link to an excellent article at The Hardball Times. Essentially, it the scientific evidence for the BP PAP (Pitcher Abuse Point) data, which can be found here.
Now, I am just a mild-mannered insurance claims adjuster. I am not a scientist. The BP evidence looks compelling to me, but I trust THT and BP equally, and the two of them disagreeing (even if it was several years ago) makes me feel like mommy and daddy are fighting, and I don't like it. As soon as I take care of this Wyoming traffic accident claim, I am going to poke around some more and see what the real deal is. Fascinating stuff.
Enough math. Back to dumb. Ben writes in with this gem:
In introducing the Braves' starting lineup for tonights game, Jon Miller dubbed Willie Harris "The Pride of Cairo, Georgia."
Jason chips in, with a report on the hands-down best announcing duo in professional sports:
Listening to Hawk Harrelson and Darin Jackson is always a chore.
It was even more so, when, during yesterday’s Twins games, they repeatedly referred to the Twins’ old middle-infield combo of Luis Rivas and Cristian Guzman as “tough outs.”
Luis Rivas career OBP: .307 Cristian Guzman career OBP: .302 (which includes his season+ in Washington)
So maybe they always had good games against the White Sox and the announcers are just remembering that? I’d buy that.
Luis Rivas career OBP vs. CHW: .300 Cristian Guzman career OBP vs. CHW: .287.
It's always nice when the announcers label players as the exact opposite of what they really are. It's the Platonic ideal of "wrong."
Finally, many of you linked Peter Gammons's InSider blog entry about players with "energy." It's iffy, but it's not outrageous. He is just saying that certain guys have a lot of energy...I don't know. Call me a hypocrite, but I just cannot bring myself to lay into Gammo. Lifetime pass.
Reader Taka, among others, wrote in about a "Clogging Up the Bases" sighting, on BBTN last night:
On the discussion of Bonds going to an AL team and DHing, Steve Phillips just showed his dismay by describing Bonds as "just like Giambi in that he walks a lot and hits some home runs, but when he's not hitting the home runs he's a baseclogger."
I did not see it. I assume he meant this in the pejorative sense.
If true, congratulations Steve Phillips, you have said the dumbest thing that anyone can say about baseball. Barry Bonds is (in the negative sense) a "baseclogger."
I was listening to ESPN Radio the other day -- SportsBash, I think -- and the first "who should be in the All-Star Game" moron call-in session was happening. Some guy called in to vote against Bonds, because he hasn't hit a HR in a while, and he "just hasn't been that good this year."
Barry Bonds is a bad dude, who used drugs and lied about it and cheated on his taxes and stuff. But he is the 6th-best baseball player all-time, and best active, in terms of not making outs. Which is, and apparently we still have to point this out -- the only real goal of baseball players.
His OBP this year is .487. At the age of like 70. His OBP, career, is .444. He is the all-time leader in walks.
Bonds, Henderson, and Ruth are your top three all-time in walks. Henderson, Bonds, Ruth are 1-2-4 all-time in runs. This is not a coincidence.
This was just too good to pass up. It comes courtesy of a reader named Mike:
Of Bonds HR No. 747, manager Bruce Bochy said: "We needed a shot in the arm and he gave it to us."
He really ought to have thought that one through.
I imagine Bochy immediately turned beet red and started stammering like Woody Allen in "Sleeper."
EDIT: And now, an hour or so later, I add this from Kevin:
During the post game show of the Giants’ 4-3 win over Toronto on Monday, Mike Krukow and Dave Fleming went on and on about how a squeeze play won it for the Giants.
“That’s what these guys need to do,” said Krukow. “Small ball won it for them tonight. That, and of course the two-run homer from Barry Bonds that tied the game."
It's time for a small number of people's favorite FJM post-type: The Gallimaufry!
Tony says:
From today's NY Daily News: A poll of 15 baseball "brains," taken to determine which player is superior: Jose Reyes or Derek Jeter. Reyes wins 8-5, with 2 voters undecided. Fine. My gripe is with this, in defense of Jeter:
"Those who picked Jeter talked about his clutch play and leadership. As a National League GM put it, 'Derek Jeter wins Game 7 of the World Series better than anyone in baseball for 2007.'"
Derek Jeter, were he to play in a WS Game 7, would win...better than anyone? What?
So: Jose Reyes could conceivably be on a team that wins a WS Game 7, but if Derek Jeter were playing in place of Reyes, he would win the same game "better?"
And, presumably, Jeter would also win "better" than his own teammates in such a game, since they would each count as "anyone in baseball for 2007."
It's fun to try to figure out which anonymous NL GM made this asinine comment. My guess is the Nationals' Jim Bowden.
I second the nomination of Bowden. Few others can match that quotation's combination of senselessness and poor grammar.
John writes:
I was watching the Yankees/White Sox game yesterday, and it was the Chicago feed, featuring the loathsome Hawk Harrelson. I'm sorry that I don't have a transcript of what he had to say about Darin Erstad, but I do have a very good memory.
Here goes:
"You look at Darin Erstad, and you don't see the best hitter in the game. You don't see the best centerfielder. You don't see the best first baseman. But put it all together, and he's one of the best baseball players you'll ever see."
This was after a little opposite field single and a stolen base. Imagine if he had laid down a bunt!
Yes. Just imagine. My goodness. Hawk might have had a heart attack.
***Note: Reader Jim chimes in to say that it was Darrin Jackson, not Hawk, who said this about Erstad. Even so, I'm betting Hawk was right there with him. Plus, there's also this next comment...
Speaking of Hawk and Ersty, Patrick files this report from the financial heart of Boston:
This came from Hawk and DJ during the Chisox v. Yanks game tonight,
about one Darin Erstad...
DJ: "I think he's faster now than he was with the Angels a few years ago."
Hawk: "Oh, yeah, I totally agree. You know, a lot of people don't know this, but he was the state champion in the 110 and 330 meter hurdles in high school, up there in North Dakota."
Punter, hockey player, track star.....WHAT CAN'T HE DO???!!
Play baseball well. Dan writes in with a special hockey note:
I know you don't really cover hockey, but on ESPN's Sabres/Senators highlights from last night's game, after the Sabres' 3-0 lead was chipped down to a 3-2 lead, Barry Melrose described the Sabres' mental state as being "like Jack Nicholson in the movie 'Psycho' "
That makes me angrier than Hank Azaria in "The African Queen."
And finally, John writes in to explain Joe Morgan's overuse of "consistency."
It's simple: Joe doesn't actually know the definition of the word "consistency." He just uses it because it sounds analytical.
Case in point, the Twins/Tigers game from Sunday night. The Twins scored 14 runs, you might recall. Joe said something during the broadcast to the effect of "the Twins have had trouble staying consistent, until tonight."
So....they haven't been consistent, until this one game. How is one game a sign of consistency? It's clear that Joe thinks that consistency just means "playing well", instead of what it actually means. So don't expect a consistent answer from Joe.
Fair enough.
And as always, loyal readers, thanks for the continuing stream of links, tips, thoughts, and analyses. You, not the children, are truly the future.
My meeting was canceled. Here are a few (mostly) unsubstantiated quotes sent in by our loyal readers from opening day.
From Brian:
Last night on Baseball Tonight, John Kruk mentioned that he disagreed with the White Sox's in-game decision to remove Jose Contreras from the game in the 2nd inning because "if this was June or July, I could understand it, but this early in the season, he's got to get his work in."
At the time of Contreras's removal from the game, he had given up 7 ER in 1+ IP and thrown nearly 50 pitches. Kruk...wasn't given time to elaborate on how long he would have thrown his pitcher out there to continue getting hammered. But I thought his original point was just insane enough to email you.
It was, Brian. Thank you. Here's Luis:
Whoever is commentating on the Orioles@Twins game (Sounds like Steve Phillips, but I know it's not him.) just claimed that Morneau would not have been MVP if Jeter would have won the batting title. Apparently it was Morneau's ability to will Joe Mauer to go 2-4 on the last day that made [the BBWAA] vote for him.
The sad thing is, as stupid as that is to say, that announcer might be right. Because people care about the difference between .347 (Mauer) and .343 (Jeter) more than they care about 12.1 (Jeter's WARP3) and 8.6 (Justin Morneau's WARP3).
Here's one from Sam:
Mets-Cards, 2nd inning: “He’s like a little kid, trying to throw it all the way over [to first base]. And he almost always does it!”
Aww! You go get 'em, champ!
I'm going to assume that was Jon Miller. And finally, here's Greg, with a link to Crasnick column we never got around to attacking:
If nobody's actually sent this to you already, I'll be surprised, but it seems too perfect to pass up.
To preview, the first two paragraphs include:
David Eckstein had barely found a spot in his home for his World Series Most Valuable Player trophy when he laid claim to another title: America's "little buddy."
The diminutive St. Louis shortstop, who is to major league baseball what Pembroke Welsh Corgis are to the Westminster Kennel Club dog show, parlayed his boundless energy, lovable demeanor and .364 World Series batting average into a joyous winter romp.
I'm imagining that might be the kind of thing you're looking for.
Chris helpfully cites FJM favorite and part-time drunky Rick Sutcliffe as the man who claimed Morneau won the MVP because of Jeter's inability to get two additional singles over the course of six months. Rick and Dusty in one booth. That is just untoward.
