FIRE JOE MORGAN: A Few Gems From JoeChat, Five Days Later


Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

Main / Archives / Merch / Glossary / Goodbye

Monday, October 09, 2006


A Few Gems From JoeChat, Five Days Later

Hey America. Joe wants to chat. We want to insert ourselves into that chat, five days later. And that's what we're going to do.

Brian Lesley (Pearl River, Louisiana): Joe, what teams do you think will advance past the ALDS?

Joe Morgan: My first thought was the Yankees, but I thought Oakland was going to play Detroit. I picked the Mets, but now all their pitchers are hurt. And I picked the Cards at the beginning of the year. So, now that Oakland's won the first game, they have the edge in that series.

This question was posed on Wednesday, when the playoffs were already underway. Why Joe needs to tell us where his head was at before Wednesday, when the matchups could have been different, I have no idea. What the Mets and Cardinals are doing in an answer to a question about the American League -- again -- your guess is about as terrible as mine.

Joe, here are the acceptable ways to answer the question from Pearl River:

Oakland and New York
Minnesota and New York
Oakland and Detroit
Minnesota and Detroit

sandy, boston: Joe, why do you think Joe Torre took Chien Ming Wang out in the 7th inning last night with two outs and no one on base. His relievers gave up a homer and two singles before the inning ended.

Joe Morgan: I think Joe still wants to know how his bullpen stacks up. Remember Rivera has been injured and he still wants to know who he can count on out of the bullpen. He didn't get a great performance last night other than Rivera. He wanted to bring in Myers to face Granderson and that didn't work out. I think Joe found out they're going to have to score a lot of run to wins and they can do that.

There are two answers in this paragraph. One of them is boring, but right. The other is interesting if not crazy, and is wrong.

BORING BUT RIGHT: Joe Torre brought in Mike Myers to face a lefty, Curtis Granderson.

Here's the situation:
Two outs, seventh inning, playoffs, four run lead, lefty coming up, who you can be pretty sure is not going to be pinch-hit for

If Mike Myers doesn't come out of the bullpen, you have to believe he's heading straight to Torre's office after the game. Not to complain, but to find out what sort of medical condition Torre's suffering from that prevented him from making one of the easiest decisions he'd make all night.

INTERESTING BUT SUPERWRONG: Joe Torre wasn't sure just how many runs he was going to need his team to score in future games to pull this series off. So to gather a little more information, he throws Mike Myers -- almost hoping that he gives up a run or two, just so he can know what kind of a series this is going to be in the future. Helps him plan his offense for future games.

Brandon ( London, KY): Should Frank Thomas win the Comback Player of the Year award? I think his numbers speak for themselves.

Joe Morgan: Of course. He should win that almost unanimously. He'll win that definitely.

He lost.

Dom from Btown: Though A Rod has more godgiven talent, is the major difference between them that Jeter isn't afraid of failure and A Rod seems to dwell on it? Basically it seems Jeter is metally tougher than A Rod and that seems to be why he tends to come up bigger in pressure situations. Your thoughts?

Joe Morgan: My minor was in psychology, but I'm not going to get into that. I don't know either of them well enough to make the statements that you made. On the surface, it would seem that you're correct, though.

"I did a thing that is sort of related to your question. But I don't want to talk about that thing. In fact, I'm not even qualified to comment on this at all...but you're probably right."

(By the way, Joe Morgan graduated from Cal State Heyward in 1990 with a major in Physical Education.)

DAVID (MINNEAPOLIS): How big was that game one loss for the Twins? can they recover?

Joe Morgan: It was big. Very big. But they CAN recover. Today's game is the biggest game, because Loaiza is going today, one of their better pitchers, while Minnesota has Bonser, and you don't know what you're going to get. So today's the biggest game, but the next one will be the biggest after that. That's the way the tension builds.

Color me very confused about the definition of the word "biggest." Today's game is the biggest, except for the one after that which is even bigger (the biggest).

Oh, okay! I figured it out. "Biggest" means the most big, or the second most big.

That makes sense. That's the way the tension builds!

Labels: , , , , ,

posted by dak  # 3:38 AM
Comments: Post a Comment

<< Home


04.05   05.05   06.05   07.05   08.05   09.05   10.05   11.05   12.05   01.06   02.06   03.06   04.06   05.06   06.06   07.06   08.06   09.06   10.06   11.06   12.06   01.07   02.07   03.07   04.07   05.07   06.07   07.07   08.07   09.07   10.07   11.07   12.07   01.08   02.08   03.08   04.08   05.08   06.08   07.08   08.08   09.08   10.08   11.08  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?