FIRE JOE MORGAN: Okay, How About This: Cuddyer for Cano, Posada, and ARod?


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Monday, June 04, 2007


Okay, How About This: Cuddyer for Cano, Posada, and ARod?

The Minneapolis-St. Paul Twin Cities Picayune-Gazzateer Star Tribune's Howard Sinker has a question:

Would you trade Torii Hunter to the Yankees for Alex Rodriguez? It wouldn’t even be a financial reach for the Twins, providing the conditions outlined below are met by all parties.

(Listen, I know that it’s a lot easier to make trades when you’re setting terms for both sides. But I like to think of myself as a benevolent arbiter, looking out for the interests of all parties. And, Lord knows, someone has to be looking out for the Yankees these days.)

*A-Rod comes to the Twins and agrees to waive the opt-out clause in his contract, which runs through 2010. Torii agrees to a three-year, $45 million extension with the Yankees, keeping him signed through 2010.

(Then some discussion of the financial differences between what the Yankees owe ARod and thus what the Twins would have to pay ARod and what the Yankees would be paying Hunter if he agreed to this absurd extension...and then...)

*The Yankees, under my terms, give the Twins $16 million toward A-Rod’s salary. That means the Twins pay A-Rod $45 million for the next 3 1/2 years...That’s only $3 million more than the Twins would pay Hunter for 3 1/2 years if he’d be willing to sign an extension for the $12 million/year he’s making right now, which isn’t at all likely. In other words, this deal is almost certainly cheaper for the Twins than signing Hunter, and it doesn’t cost the Yankees any more than their current commitment to A-Rod.

Awesome. Really good idea. I think it will totally work. Just a few problems:

If you think Torii Hunter, who is 31 and approaching his first big free-agent payday and has been playing in Minnesota forever, is going to sign a three-year extension for $15m a year, the year after Carlos Lee signed for a record $6.4 billion with the motherhumping Astros, you have a serious drug problem that has already rendered you mostly braindead.

If you think the Yankees are going to pay someone -- anyone -- to take Alex Rodriguez and his .347 EqA off their hands, you are a sociopath with no ability to understand social signals or other people's intentions, and you might be capable of horrifying crimes against humanity.

If you think that Torii Hunter -- and I know you live in Minnesota and watch him play every day and all that -- but if you think Torii Hunter and his .324 career OBP is worth Alex Rodriguez in this or any known universe or any even theoretical universe predicted by cutting-edge string theory-type research, you have a rare and possibly brain-threatening virus previously only found in sharks, and you should turn yourself into the CDC in Atlanta ASAP.

Torii Hunter has had a WARP3 above 6.7 once in his life. Alex Rodriguez eats 6.7 WARP3's for brunch in mid-July while getting lap dances and attending psychotherapy at the same time.

Here's what PECOTA predicts for Torii Hunter in 2008:

HR: 17
EqA: .280

Here's PECOTA for ARod in 2008:

HR: 31
EqA: .318

You think the Yankees are going to pay the Twinkies $5m+ next year to watch that unfold? And you call that "looking out" for them?

I salute you, sir. You're my kind of Yankee Advocate.

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