FIRE JOE MORGAN: Doo Doo Doo DOO, Do DOOOOOOOOOOO!

FIRE JOE MORGAN

Where Bad Sports Journalism Came To Die

FJM has gone dark for the foreseeable future. Sorry folks. We may post once in a while, but it's pretty much over. You can still e-mail dak, Ken Tremendous, Junior, Matthew Murbles, or Coach.

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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

 

Doo Doo Doo DOO, Do DOOOOOOOOOOO!

...charge.

Joe Morgan: As soon as we think we have sports figured out,

No right-minded person ever thinks this.

things seem to go awry. Everyone thought Big Brown would win easily, everyone thought the Lakers would win easily,

The Celtics had home court advantage.

and everyone thought the Tigers would win easily. None of that has happened, and it makes for an interesting sports climate. That said, I still don't know which team will be in the World Series.

Real quick:

1. There are two teams in the World Series.
2. Read your first sentence and your last sentence together, and see if it makes sense. "As soon as we think we have sports figured out, things seem to go awry. That said, I still don't know which team will be in the World Series."

Or: "Sports are unpredictable. That said, the end result of this sports season is unpredictable."

Off to an A+ start.


Danny (NY):
Hi Joe, lots of writers and reporters are suggesting that griffey would be at 700 homers if he stayed healthy. don't you find this "math" kind of ridiculous?

JoeBait? If so, well done.

Joe Morgan: No, Griffey has missed a lot of time--close to three or four full seasons. I think it's possible that he could be close to 700 without injuries, but that is just speculation. You never know what a guy can do. But using his home runs per at-bat ratio, it'd probably have him close to 700.

Can't predict / Predicts it then announces it's just a prediction / Can't predict / Uses math to predict it.

Joe Morgan: But it's always hard to speculate on what someone would or would not do.

For the millionth time: we know. You're an expert. We're asking your opinion. No need for the qualification.

Imagine if every expert in every field operated this way.

"Here's Storm Cloudman with the weather. Storm? What can we expect this weekend?"


"Well, Rich, I simply do not know. I mean, I could guess, but what would be the point? It's impossible to tell. Too early. Anything could happen. Who can say, really? There will be weather of some kind -- that's a given. But I can't really speculate."


"Thanks. Say, is Storm Cloudman your real name?"


"No. My real name is Coriolis Effect von Thunderbolt."


Lee (NYC):
Joe, thanks for taking my question. I am a Yankee fan but I have always been a huge Willie Randolph fan. I feel that Willie Randolph has nothing to do with the mess the Mets are in. Shouldn't Omar Minaya take most of the blame? He put this team together.

Joe Morgan:
He has to take his share of the blame for putting the team together, but the manager usually takes the blame first. If Willie is fired, the focus will go to the GM. If he stays, the focus will stay on him. But it would be that way in other cities too. The Mariners are way under .500, for instance, but no one is criticizing the GM, they're looking at the manager.

Hear that, recently-fired Bill Bavasi? No one blames you.

Joe Wheaton, IL:
With the AL Central being weak this year do you feel the sox can run away with it? and what mid season move do you feel would help the sox take that next step to finish off min,clev,det and kc?

Joe Morgan:
I've felt that the Sox could win the division, although they will not run away with it. They will go through spells where they cannot hit at all. They have good pitching, but without a well-rounded total attack, you can't run away with a division. That said, I don't know who will get hot and chase them.

"That Said" should be the title of Joe's autobiography.

"That Said":
A Life in Baseball:
Though It's Still Early To Say That It Should be Called a 'Life' Since I Am Still Relatively Young and Who Knows What I Will Do Next:
I Could Become a Fireman and then I'd Have to Write a New Autobiography About Being A Fireman:
So You Never Know, Really:
But For Now My Life Has Been In Baseball, So We'll Stick With This Title:
"That Said,"
But You Never Know What Will Happen
By Joe Morgan
(With Mitch Albom)

Alan(Philly): Joe, with the streaking Phillies taking control of the NL East, does Chase Utley have to be the NL MVP right now especially since Lance Berkman and Chipper Jones' teams are not very good right now?

Joe Morgan:
Last year, even though Jimmy Rollins won, Chase Utley was on par with Rollins as far as being the favorite (before he got injured). I would say yes. It's been chronicled, I'm a big Chase Utley fan. He probably will be the MVP.

I love "it's been chronicled." It's in the ancient scriptures. Scholars agree. (Also, suddenly he ditches all the "it's too early" stuff and announces the NL MVP has been wrapped up? Guh-whaaa?)

From here on out I'm going to completely unfairly boil Joe's answers down to one sentence (that he actually used) to save time.

Dan (Nutley, NJ):
I think the Rays handled the 'lull' well. After getting swept by Boston, they took 2 of 3 from Texas and blasted LA last night. Who do you see in the Wild Card mix in late August?

Joe Morgan:
...you never know.

Dan (New York, NY):
Can the Mets turn their losing around? It seems like it is always one step forward, two steps back with this team.

Joe Morgan:
...I don't have a feel for the Mets.

Keith (Miami): Can you see the Marlins making any moves, maybe for a pitcher near the deadline if they continue to stay in it?

Joe Morgan:
We don't know...We will just have to wait and see...

Kyle (PA): Joe, does Gary Sheffield hit the hardest line drives you've ever seen?

Joe Morgan:
Probably.

(See this, if you don't know the JoeBait backstory here.)

And for the finale:

Joe Morgan: Everything else is up for grabs. That said, so many things can change by September.

JoeChat Advisory:

These haven't been that fun lately, frankly. They have their share of "consistently"s and "Sheffield"s and stuff, but in general, whether it's Bill Fremp or Joe getting better or something, the answers aren't that crazy and the jokes are starting to feel the same. So, this may be the last full JoeChat for a while. I may start just picking out individual moments or something...whatever. We'll play it by ear. It's a blog, after all, so we'll wing it.

That said, this could all change tomorrow.

Labels: , , ,


posted by Ken Tremendous  # 1:13 PM
Comments:
I have finally given in to the throng of vocal and passionate fans who verily demanded a "Coriolis Effect von Thunderbolt" tag. I even gave it the rare FJM Tag Caps.

Congratulations to everyone. On earth.
 
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